“But there’s a danger in loving somebody too much
And it’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain’t enough…”

Wedded to the pleasures of a comfortable existence that comes with “infinite” wealth, Mehak Shergill was apparently happy in her palatial Zirakpur bungalow with her “rich” hubby and two children. So, when the twenty-something suggested tying the knot with single life once again after eight long years of “marital bliss”, it left everyone shocked.

Her family and friends had reasons to be astounded. For all they knew, her hubby was a nice guy. Never smoked, seldom drank! Never saw any other gal! Went straight to office, came back direct! To top it all, he was not the screaming kinds!

Dowry could not be the issue. They had enough wealth. In any case, he was not the avaricious sort. Mother-in-law was staying abroad. Mehak too was not the “running around” types. So what was wrong with their relationship?

“Nothing,” says Mehak. “It was all too wonderful. So perfect that I started feeling suffocated. It was like one good order corrupting the relationship. So, I took the conscious decision of legalizing the parting of ways with him, once and for all”.

Call it the “seven-year itch” that encourages you to look for alternatives or whatever you like, Mehak is one of the many youngsters living in and around the city with an unexplained discontentment that prevents them from being happy in their relationships. So while their divorce petitions describe the cause of drifting apart as incompatibility, physical inability or even adultery; the real reason is sometimes altogether different, and often inexplicable.

“Factors like adultery and dowry harassment play their part in spoiling relationships,” agrees young socio-psychologist Puneeta Singh. “But then, they are not the only causes of estrangement between otherwise happy couples, especially in the urban areas…. Look hard and you will find that the gap between pre-marriage romanticism and post-wedding disillusionment is emerging as a big issue”.

Elaborating on the issue, Puneeta says: Blame the movies or the open Indian skies for beaming serials that still show couples willing to live or even sacrifice for love; youngsters nowadays have high romantic aspirations.

Bred on “idealistic” serials in which guys keep showering gifts, and compliments; they too want their husbands to bring home flowers, give cards or to take them out for movies, like they did during courtship days. At least give them a patient hearing, and a goody-goody feeling.

Well, after four years or so, when routine devours everything, conversation is limited to essential topics and dinners become once a year affair, the feeling of “something-has-changed” begins to creep in. Along with the feeling comes the sense of disenchantment.

Financially independent and nothing much to hold them back, they think in terms of obtaining a divorce. And, the feeling grows on them. Before they realise, it is the end of the road they have traveled together for years.

Then there’s another reason. The outlook towards divorce has changed. It is “nothing big”, actually not a taboo. If a girl thinks she has committed a mistake by marrying the “wrong guy”, she does not hesitate for long before writing-off the relationship.

“It’s something like easy come, easy go, thing,” says Punjab and Haryana High Court advocate Anil Pal Singh Shergill. “And with Bollywood actually encouraging the ending of relationships where there is no `love’, there is no stopping the couples”.

Heaving a sigh, Shergill concludes: “A marriage is very different from a job. You just cannot think in terms of walking out of it. Stay and make it stick until or unless the problem is really excruciating.” Sounds sensible, guys! saurabh@tribunemail.com

He shot to fame in the 90’s with his brand of action. Seventeen years into the profession, Suniel Shetty has tasted success in many avtaars – from attempting to dance in Mohra, to playing an obssesive lover in Dhadkan, to tickling the funny bone in Phir Hera Pheri, to donning the role of a villian in Main Hoon Na, to motivating all to take the fitness route on a reality show… Perhaps one of the fittest actor in Bollywood today, the 46-year-old actor, TV host, restaurater, businessman, sports freak and now the brand ambassador for Indian Hockey Federation (IHF), Suniel was in town to add glamour, vigour and life to the game.

“Sports relieves stress and helps one stay in shape and fit,” says Suniel. “Hockey has a glamorous past and if we can talk about other sports with pride, then, why not hockey?” he asks. “With amendments in rules and synthetic astro-turf, we lost our grip on the game which resulted in its declining popularity,” he says. Well, so when IHF approached him to contribute in revitalising the game, he just could not say no. An ardent cricket fan, he has played hockey at school level.

“Flicks like Chak De India go a long way in promoting sports. Shah Rukh Khan has done a tremendous job and more such films should be encouraged,” said Suniel. The sports freak hopes to see his son, who at present plays soccer, to opt for a career in sports rather than films. “It would be a matter of pride to see my son bring fame to country,” he says.

Talking of his first love, films, Suniel terms his role in Border the best so far. He hasn’t signed any film after Cash and is on lookout for a good role. “I would like to do more of comedy roles,” said Suniel, the Phir Hera Pheri actor. He feels a multi-starrer in comparison to a solo-hero show is a safe bet in the age of supermarkets and multiplexes. Refusing to comment on Sanjay Dutt’s conviction, he said, “I don’t want to say anything on the issue.”

On playing the anchor of Biggest Loser Jeetega, Suniel says, “The show has changed the life of 16 obese participants. The ones who could not even bend to tie their shoelaces have now lost between 50 and 70 kg,” he says. The star anchor terms the determination of the participants that could work as motivation for many, as the show’s real success. His fitness mantra: More than an hour of workouts, no alcohol and a distance from fried and junk food.

And what’s more if given a chance Suniel would love to make a sports-based film. A perfect blend of emotions, good script, story and direction would get this producer going. Well, as for now we hope that the sports-star brings back the lost sheen to the national game. ghaiakash@tribunemail.com

Staying true to the Corbusier culture, clean lines and minimalism are the two elements our furniture designers are focussing on, says Gayatri Rajwade

Flamboyant arcs, cambers and curls are out giving way to the classy, no-frills expression. No hairdo mantra for the summer this, but a changing trend in furniture no less. But why all the fuss about furniture one may ask? “Because these are not just inanimate objects. They leave a mark and they are something you develop a bond with. Doesn’t everyone has a favourite chair or a special piece?” say Panchkula-based architect-duo Anant Mann and Siddhartha Wig of ‘The Elements – building with nature’ in Sector 6.

If evolution is the byword for design, then Anant and Siddhartha’s foray into furniture is a natural progression of moving from architectural facades and interiors into Studio Aranya, their furniture venture. Not even a year into it, they just design for friends and a few select clients but their mantra is also clean lines.

The link goes back to 1991 when Siddhartha was working in Oman with one of the largest furniture companies there, on a project for the Sultan. “While we were required to look at only opulent furniture, I knew the bug had bitten me,” he says.

Today, the furniture they create is hand-crafted, using the best quality wood, where personal comfort goes in tandem with form, aesthetics, optimum utilisation of space and even light.

They intersperse their wood with steel, tiles, leather and glass, using these as ‘accents’ to create furniture that is earthy, clean and straight-lined in teak, sheesham and partal. And they do this by literally getting into their client’s life, which includes knowing nitty-gritty details like just how many photo-frames will adorn their walls or tables! “There is a reason for this. Our way of doing things is there to stay. We can’t wish it away. So we do only what we believe in,” smiles Anant.

Take a peek into Fischer’s Furniture in Sector 8. It reiterates the minimalist stand with its unfussy, unpretentious woodwork and owner Gul Dhillon is clear that the flavour lies in the ‘three looks’ the store offers. “Natural finish with a raw appeal, polished pieces, darker and glossier with the glow of linseed oil and the dark russet furniture, aiming at an antique, sturdier look,” she explains.

It is not ‘contemporary’ as people believe it to be. “The look is one of old history coming through in straight lines,” she avers. Designed in-house, the creative brain behind the Fischer venture is Gul’s cousin Rippy Brar (based in Ludhiana) who designs, fabricates and exports this furniture to some of the biggest names abroad like Next and Pier 1, amongst others. Armed with an engineering degree this is, he agrees, a “long-shot from tinkering in machines” but furniture for him, is quite simply a passion. Inspiration interestingly, comes from ‘anything’. It could be an abstract photograph or even a pattern on cloth, which he then ‘evolves’.

Even stores like Fabindia in Sector 9, with their focus on craft traditions from all around India, is spotlighting on furniture, says their regional head Diltaj Grewal. The store introduced its range to the region with an exhibition in December last year where the entire line was showcased. “And going by the sales, it is obvious that the city was looking for something like this,” smiles Diltaj.

The furniture is crafted out of seasoned wood—sheesham, mango, mahogany and padauck (pinkish-maroon tinged wood originally found in the Andamans). The look again is uncomplicated, straight lines with a natural look and styles that are classic, says store manager Neelu Singh.

So natural is not just the food we eat, it is also the wood we sit on. And if you are not completely convinced of minimalism, remember dusting a straight line is a lot easier than dusting a curved one! gayatrir@tribunemail.com

Adding the ingredient of grandeur to the celebrations, so many ‘senior students’ and institutes are offering on a platter opulent pleasure to the freshers by organising ‘welcome bashes’ in hi-end fast food joints, even discotheques and farmhouses on the city’s outskirts.

The recipe is perfect: Take the youngsters, pool some hard-saved dough and drive down to the joints for just the right kind of dance and dinner bash. If in the process the youngsters end up paying anything between Rs 300 and Rs 400 from their wallets, they are just not bothered about it.

After all, as juniors they too had savoured their initiation into a whole new academic world in hi-fi joints without pulling anything out of their pockets. “It’s all justified,” says Raman Mehta, a second-year post-graduation student. “We are simply returning what we were given.”

Just in case you do not know, the parties are organised soon after the conclusion of the ragging season. Initially, the trend of throwing out-of-the-institute party started gaining momentum in private professional institutes, but now even the students of Panjab University and government-run colleges are all for it.

No wonder, PU’s Law and English Department auditoriums are not the only sought-after venues. Even joints like Silver and X-Over in Sector 26, and Fusion in Sector 35 are more often than not saturated with students eager to cut footloose all the way to familiarity and an academic future together.

“The music, the ambience and the absence of restrictions all combine together to give the freshers a comfortable feeling that has so far eluded them due to ragging and a host of other factors,” says DJ AJ of X-Over. “Such parties are all the more essential as they mark the end of the ragging, and the beginning of a relaxing new phase.”

Only recently Flying Cats Airhostess School-8 organised a gala freshers’ party at Silver-26. Excitement broke lose as the thumping beats of reverberating music booming out of the impressive speakers filled the air.

“Here at the institute, out-of-the-establishment party is an annual affair,” says a young Flying Cat. The event is all about vibrancy and fun, organised with the intention of welcoming the freshers in an out-of-academic environment, and also to boost their confidence.”

She adds: The parties, organised with the institute’s initiative, are theme-based. It can be anything — `I am Miss India’, where the participants deck themselves up in gowns, or even `Retro time’, where the 60’s and the 70’s are typified by stylised prints, playful colours, upbeat music and swinging moves.

Another one was the UBS freshers’ party that saw seniors shelling out Rs 1000 per head for an evening of free-flowing daaru, chicken and of course, peppy music at Score — 8. The total bill: Rs 1.5 lakh.

The participants walk the ramp of popularity and vie for titles — Ms and Mr Fresher included. So all you guys and gals, forget all about those usual parties topped with samosas and cakes; and cook something more exciting like an eat-and-dance bash.

Caught in a soup

There can be nothing more annoying than spotting a strand of hair floating in the creamy piping hot delicacy. But, just before you shout at the waiter or complain to the manager, do a self check. Combing long,short, curly, wavy, streaked hair is a total no-no in a restaurant. Better eat your meal with a messy hair-do.

Are numerous reports on accidents occurring while using the mobile when on move not enough to wake us up?

It’s an international debut Salman Khan would regret. It is a movie we would like to forget. Who can remember a film that has a pathetic script, indifferent acting and soulless music? Only a desperate actor can be part of a cinematic calamity called Marigold and call it a ‘truly international experience’.

By simply performing in an American director’s film, one can’t become a global star. Salman Khan is no exception. His desperation to work in a Hollywood flick brings out the worst in him. You see him scale new heights of stupidity as a choreographer, Prem, who helps a B-grade US actor Marigold Lexton (Ali Larter) learn the ropes of dancing and is instrumental in getting her a role in a Hindi film. Marigold falls in love with Prem, who is already engaged to an Indian American, Janvi (Nandana Sen). After a few clumsy twists and turns, their love triumphs and Marigold and Prem are united. The only credit Willard Carroll can claim is in directing a surfeit of Bollywood actors and a wooden American beauty together in an extremely bizarre fashion.

Ali Larter is easy on the eyes. It is a pity that the same can’t be said about her performance. But then what can you expect from an actor who had no idea about Bollywood or Salman Khan before the start of the shooting. Salman makes moronic attempts to impress us with his American accent and comes a cropper. To give him company are Vijayendra Ghatge, Kiran Juneja and Suchitra Pillai.

Showing at: Fun Republic, Batra

Death is a tragedy. In Rahul Rawail’s hands, it becomes a farce. ‘You will die laughing’, is the constant refrain of the corpse of Anupam Kher whenever it comes alive in Buddha Mar Gaya. We have to combat the claim. We may not die laughing, but we will certainly die crying over the demise of the talent of a filmmaker who gave us films like Betaab, Arjun and Biwi O Biwi.

How could a director like Rahul make fun of death and claim the story is about people who treat death in a flippant manner and disregard it because of their greed for money? To us, it seems it was Rahul’s lust for moolah which made him invent characters like Lakshmikant Kabaria (Anupam Kher), a rich industrialist, who dies on the night before the opening of a Rs 5000 crore IPO, Vidyut Baba (Om Puri), the family guru, who, along with Kabaria’s family, is part of a plan to hide his death for two days till all the shares are sold out, and Ramu (Paresh Rawal), the domestic help who blackmails the family during the period.

At times, it appears that you are watching a Dada Kondke, and not a Rawail film. Even an amateur would have made a better comedy. Whether it is Om Puri, Rakhi Sawant, Paresh Rawal, Anupam Kher or Mukesh Tiwari, performances are uniformly atrocious.

Given the kind of dialogues it has, it seems strange how it got the Censor Board’s nod. That it will sink without a trace is a foregone conclusion. How early will that be remains to be seen.

Showing at: Fun Republic, Nirman

Mrignayanee — the annual exhibition from the artisans of Madhya Pradesh is back at Panchayat Bhawan–18. With 20 participants, on offer are handlooms and handicrafts from the state. The trademark chanderi rules the roost. “It takes anywhere between 15 days to three months to handcraft a sari,” says Baboo Makhtar, an artisan for 36 years. A sari with delicate and light work costs Rs 640 and the ones with intricate heavy work are priced from Rs 7,500 onwards. Suits in pure cotton prints from Indore start from Rs 520. The Maheswhari suits, a blend of cotton and silk using vegetable colours starts from Rs 1,200. Suits in daboo or indigo print in sober colours are also available.

Also on display are bedsheets, covers and ghaghra skirts from Ujjain and Indore. Ceramic products for bonsai and landscaping have been brought in from Gwalior. All the products are available at a 20 per cent rebate. On till August 26 —TNS

Jennifer Aniston is getting is back at work after breaking up with model Paul Sculfor, and is reportedly in talks to star in a major film project. According to People, the 38-year-old actress is in final talks to sign on for He’s Just Not That Into You.

The comedy will be Aniston’s first film since ‘The Break-Up’ in 2005. The actress will play a woman whose long-time boyfriend won’t commit to getting married. The film cast also include Jennifer Connelly and Drew Barrymore, who’ll also be a producer. — ANI

Now that many of us are affirmed Googlers – I thought it would be interesting to do some Googling on Chandigarh itself and see what has transpired since sixty years of Independence. The first site that came up was the official website of the Chandigarh Administration — www.chandigarh.nic.in. I had viewed a lot of sites on the city before I came here and was expecting an unattractively designed website with completely ancient information. What I saw made me sit up and take notice.

Here was a nice and cool site with good photos and some really interesting information. Not usual essays about Le Corbusier, Sukhna and Arts College, I actually learnt new things from the site. Contemporary and stylish, it truly projects the city as modern and IT-savvy. It also has information on all central public information officers along with their office phone numbers. Are we truly free to call them? There is an e-governance section with links for all kinds of e-services. Did you know you could get water and electricity bill details via SMS? Were you aware that you could access all the online departmental service centres from this site? I could actually obtain up-to-date information on how to apply for a driver’s license. Also, one can download forms from the site of Chandigarh housing board and even submit online complaints to the Municipal Corporation.

Now, this is not just all-boring business. There is a great interactive map of Chandigarh – that allows you to move about and select sectors for zooming in. One really doesn’t need the Sector 17 mapwallas anymore. There are beautiful pictorial links of the city’s ongoing green projects. I did not know there is a Bamboo valley that is in the offing in Sector 23 – a high tech park and 176 acres Botanical Garden that has been established near village Sarangpur. When winter comes, I know what would be my first outdoor destination.

I also loved the photo gallery. There are some beautiful photos of quintessential Chandigarh here. You can also submit suggestions regarding the website and review statistics about the city and its growth. There are links to view general information about the city, history of its construction, research material and new directives.

Chandigarh has been redefined over the last five years – some of the changes have been hard to accept. This is a new face I heartily welcome.

I am a woman in my early 30’s with two daughters. I am running a boutique and making more money than my husband. My husband is jealous of my success. He is always irritated and competes with me for our kids affections.

Ruhi Jain
Chandigarh

Your husband is a lucky man to have you. You’re doing great. But make him feel the man of the house in other ways so that his ego and self-esteem get a boost. The fact that he is a good emotional anchor for you and your daughters should be reason enough for him. However, once he feels secure, he will relax.

I am a 32-year-old guy working in Mumbai. Every time I come home my parents press me for marriage. I have a live-in relationship. But this time when I came here, I bumped into my old girlfriend, who just had a divorce. I enjoy her company and now I am thinking of spending my life with her. I’m a little confused. Please advise.

Vinendra Chanhan
Panchkula

How can you be so confused and irresponsible? Figure out what you want. If you have not committed to your girlfriend emotionally, then perhaps you could think about this new relationship. So check your inner self and then move on.

I am a 24-year-old girl living in a hostel. I get disturbed sleep. I feel lonely and depressed and do not find it easy to make friends. I do not even share a close bond with my family. Please help.

Ravneet
Mohali

You have allowed a lot of childhood resentment to build up inside. Your fears surface when you sleep. Spend time trying to relive the moments in your childhood, which gave you maximum pain. Try to heal these feelings by nurturing your inner-self. Forgive the people who had hurt you. Once you get rid of the resentment, you will be at peace.