Winning the battle of books
By I. M. Soni

NOW, that the academic session has started in our colleges (and the University campus), it is time for our budding scholars to master the tricks of the how-to-score-high-marks trade.

Broadly speaking, they are: apple polishing, brain-lifting; avoiding unnecessary reading, cribbing, swimming against the tide, and proper seating.

There is an indecent phrase for what I call apple polishing which I am avoiding because I want to keep within publishing limits. Anyway, it means skilful flattery of teachers.

The technique is simple. The student approaches the teacher before the lecture. With much batting of eyelashes (if female) or "sirring" (if male), the line is delivered: "I just love this course. Your lectures are the best. This is the consensus among students."

It is not risky because few teachers have been known to snub clumsy practitioners of the art. In fact, they are favourably disposed toward the bold spirits who have discovered the imaginary merits of the course or his lectures. Nor do many really understand the difference between fawning and a genuine compliment!

I used to tell the culprit (apple polisher) that one way to get a good grade is to read on the subject, and I suggested a book I believed might be of interest.

Usually what started as apple polishing did improve the culprit. Face to face with hoary me in a cabin (read cell), the student discovered rather amiable fogey.

At the end of the meeting, the student amazed himself by borrowing another book. His comments in the class astounded not only his classmates, but himself.

Brain-lifting is the technique of using someone else’s brains to meet your own deficiencies. Akbar became "great" by lifting nine best brains of his time.

See that dejected youngman in a corner who obviously has been taking overdoses of pills? He knows almost as much about the course as his professor. An ace brain-lifter will cultivate him. Bad? Yes. But the borrower offers something to his quarry — attention.

This will work wonders for the intelligent but choosy girl. He will carry her books, bring them from the library, prepare notes for her and also entertain her with Cokes.

How to avoid unnecessary study can be taught in many ways. Like shorthand, rapid reading requires some effort, but once acquired, it will save time forever.

It can increase reading speed by 100 per cent. That means you can double your present reading in the same time span, or maintain your present level in half the time. Extra dividend is greater comprehension of something you do not comprehend.

Intelligent cribbing is not cheating at examinations, a self-defeating technique if ever there was one. Learning to use references, or making full use of another’s knowledge, is intelligent cribbing.

The professor (every teacher in college is one) should not object to this. He himself uses notes when he lectures.

Another trick is swimming against the tide. When you find a majority of the class agreed, raise your hand in objection. This is dangerous, of course, for in order to refute such weight of opinion, you must have more knowledge of the subject than the others. The professor will begin to curry favour with you.

Another gimmick for getting good marks is proper seating. Less sophisticated students prefer the back rows, just as professors do at their meetings.

That is a mistake. A student in the front row is a face, not just a space in the grade book. However, there is some risk involved. Every cut you take from the class will be noticed.

Also, you have to keep awake. You cannot read love letters or slips behind your neighbour’s back. But no matter how stupid you are, this synthetic alertness is almost guaranteed to raise your marks.

Strange, but no matter how boring the lecture, time flees faster if you force yourself to listen. And there is nothing else to see in the front row, except the oracle of knowledge.