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Sunday, August 23, 1998 |
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AFTER decades in the wilderness preaching etiquette, Tamil Leibovitzs charm school on the outskirts of Tel Aviv is besieged by former army officers, aspiring politicians and budding socialites, all willing to pay to break into polite society. There is a huge demand, said the immaculately groomed image consultant, aged 50. When I started years ago, people told me, manners is not for us. It is for Europe and North America. But now with the globalisation of culture and business there are no more borders. Mrs Leibovitz believes that her countrys tradition of bluntness and plain speaking has become a burden on the world stage. In a speech earlier this month in Miami, she warned visiting businessmen: Israelis will cut in on your conversation and will often interrupt in the middle of a sentence. It is also quite common for an Israeli to complete your sentence for you. Israelis talk very loudly. One of Ms Leibovitzs main clients, the Foreign Ministry, is also keenly aware of an image problem. A senior Israeli diplomat said that when briefing foreigners my opening statement is : Let me tell you something about volume. This is our opening volume. The diplomat raised his voice a few dozen decibels. This is our cultural gap. So dont get offended, he added. Mrs Leibovitz attributes the Israelis direct, unembellished style of communication to the countrys precarious strategic circumstances. When I was 18 I was in the army, and then I married a soldier. We live in stress. My children went to the army, so I became the mother of children serving in Lebanon. I cannot sleep at night. And one day I will be the grandmother of a soldier. There is also the freier factor. Freier is Yiddish for sucker and no Israeli, Mrs Leibovitz explains, wants to be seen as one. Following the recent breakdown of talks with the Palestinians, the Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, proudly told Israeli journalists: Im no freier. I have to tell my clients you are not a freier youre not a sucker if you have good manners. If you start behaving differently, you will see what you get from it, Mrs Leibovitz said. She takes her students out on to Israels competitive roads. Normally, if you want to turn left or right, nobody nobody will let you into their lane. I show people that if you make eye-contact and gesture with your hand perhaps, people will make way for you, she said. Mrs Leibovitz and her company, Litam Manners, are not alone in attempting to prepare Israelis for a world of global communication. After a string of outraged letters to the press three years ago, the state-run phone company, Bezek, issued a booklet of advice for users, in which it recommended that mobile phones should be turned off during funerals. The mobile phone is ubiquitous in Israel and it has become one of Mrs Leibovitz bugbears. If I am in a restaurant, there will be people on all sides talking into their phones and not to the people they are with. I tell my students to turn it off. If they are expecting an urgent call, they should warn the other person and ask permission. At Litam Manners headquarters in the tranquil Tel Aviv suburb of Ramat Gan, Mrs Leibovitz gives one-on-one consultations and group finishing touch courses. She also gives year-long lecture series at the Tel Aviv College of Management, costing about $ 1,600. She has several ex-officers on her books, who are trying to pick up civilian deportment to make a fresh start in business or politics. She also coaches a number of politicians, but she is too discreet to name names. Before giving an interview, she wound up a session with an aspiring candidate for Tel Avivs city hall, a heavy-set woman dressed in black. Shell have to go on a diet, of course, but shell always be big. But we can do something with her clothes and the way she talks. For Mrs Leibovitz, it is not just a matter of having nice table etiquette. She believes that the road to peace in West-Asia could be paved with good manners. We have to see that even Palestinians are human beings just like we are human beings. We dont know yet how to speak to other people and how to solve problems together. We have to learn that. |
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