It’s DIFFERENT
Some eating joints in the city promise an experience beyond the Punjabi tadka
Neha Walia

Elements from Down Under are a special attraction at Cafe Oz
Elements from Down Under are a special attraction at Cafe Oz

Different. It's a word universally acknowledged as the easiest way to sell anything — from the weirdest ideas to the simplest of things made complex by adding the word different. Anyways, when it comes to food, the usage of the word maximises. Most of us know that we are being forced to experience the same 'different' stuff over and over again — Punjabi version of Chinese, Continental, Mediterranean, Italian and other cuisine. But then there are few out of the lot that might qualify as 'different', not because they emphasise on the word, but because the menu has evaded the Punjabi makeover.

Oz experience!

Oriental flavour at Mainland China
Oriental flavour at Mainland China

Ye mate! Up for some grog (alcohol)? And if you want to 'tuck' (have food) yourself, nothing better. A barbeque, 'sammie', bunch of 'ockkers' (stereotypical Aussie male), slushing themselves in the company of a 'plonk' (a cheap wine) or 'cracking tinnies' (cans of beer) till the sun goes Down Under.

Well, all those who have made a trip to the Australian outback, might understand the conversation here. And for the clueless ones, it's nothing but a way of life in the 'Land of the Kangaroos'. And before you start wondering if it's a travel piece on Australia, then it isn't. In fact, it's about one of the places in the city that brings to you the Aussie experience, with its food, wine and a bit of slang.

The recently opened Café Oz in Sector 9 offers a menu that reads 100 per cent Australia. Fusion food, new world wines, 100 per cent Arabica coffee from Victoria, variety of teas from China, Japan and the Indian chai. And their speciality…sub-zero draught beer.

"Punjab is a very young and difficult market for global cuisine to break into. But we are trying to make a good introduction with our food," says Dolly Kaur, director and the brain behind Café Oz. She adds, "Most of our preparations use authentic Australian herbs and spices, along with some local specialities like lamb chops, sausages, Dukkah (mixed nuts, seeds and spices with Cabiatta)."

Australian fusion food with pizzas, carbs i.e. Pasta and Rissoto, fresh salads and an array of cocktails can be enjoyed along with other elements from the Outback. Say, pictures from the Bondi beach, Friday night live performances and free wine tasting sessions on Wednesdays. "More than the food, the concept of fusion dining, with alternative music and quality service, is our main focus. The city is slowly opening up to the idea of global food. The café-cum-bar concept works for a casual hangout experience," says Gurtej Singh Virk, franchisee owner, Café Oz.

Oriental express

From Peking duck to lip smacking lobsters, if you want to enjoy the mystical oriental hospitality, then Mainland China-26 brings the authentic tastes of China, without any regional adulteration. Serving delicacies from provinces of China, it offers a menu that blends with the exotic ambience. "We serve to the spicy Punjabi tastes by offering dishes from regions like Shanghai, Honan and others," says Suro Kiran De, restaurant manager. And with half-moon design, Buddha figures and Chinese paper lamps, the look is complete.

The Chinese being the most vulnerable cuisine to fall prey to Punjabi tadkas, Suro has a different take. "There has been no changes in the menu since we opened, which means that our original flavours are working well here. It's a balanced menu, with a bit of spice too." Another oriental halt comes at China Circle-26, with Thai and Chinese food on offer. And if you want a private, cosy dining experience then the Circle lounge, which is an extension of the restaurant, serves perfectly.

Café Italiano

Popular, easy on stomach, it clicks with Punjabis as much as Chinese. But all we know about Italian food is the pizza. Beyond that everything goes for a toss. But at Flamme Boi Bistro-35, Italian means authentic and freshly baked. "We have a concept of fresh oven pizzas, cooked on wood fire, no LPG, using ingredients that are supposed to be used and no overloading of flavours with toppings. Apart from that we have continental and serve wines (exotic French wines too) that complement our food," says Karan Deep Suri, owner.

The menu has specifics like Shephareds Pie, pizza with fresh mozzerella and sun-dried tomatoes. But despite the authentic flavours, the spice is much needed. "It is a must to attract Indian palates, but we don't Indianise our menu. We have a touch of Mexican cuisine to fill that gap." The brick oven inside the Bistro serves both purposes - décor and live kitchen.

So, whether we love Hakka noodles, barbeques, pasta as much as we love our pindi chanas or butter chicken, (may be we are expecting too much here), changing tastes are for sure responsible for a slice of the global cuisine in the city. But, not without some spice!

nehawalia@tribunemail.com

Golden verses
Manpriya Khurana

In the citation on Padma Bhushan, he's nomenclatured as a revolutionary poet. If not this; if not even his couplets, then this anecdote brings home the message on Sardar Anjum. "Whenever you fill a form, there's this religion column. In that column I'd always write music. When I was to get admission in St. Xavier's Mumbai, they'd stopped my form initially and I was like — I'm as it is a revolutionary, they must've stopped my form for something." When we called up the eminent poet to congratulate for having penned down the song for Commonwealth Games, he was writing an editorial on honour killing!

On June 25, India receives the mashall at the Wagah border and that's where Raahat Ali will voice his lyrics. Quite apt for the occasion, as the entire games message has been translated onto poetry. He says, “Khel Ke Rishte Dilon Tak Aa Gaye Pyaar Ban Kar…Zindagi Pe Chha Gaye."

While the other song, is being sung jointly by Wadali Brothers and Raahat Ali. He says, "What's important is it underscores the spirit of brotherhood. Allah Haq, Maula Haq, Mohabbat Ka Ujala Haq."

He adds, "Seventy countries are coming together, harmony is the biggest thing." The spirit and the inspiration stems from his personal penchant for brotherhood, his aversion to terrorism, his dislike of the successive governments. "I'm not against either Captain or Badal or anyone for that matter. I'm just pro people."

No wonder, the problems assume the shape of words and out comes a series of razor sharp remarks on current issues. Spelling it out loud, saying the truth in poetry must be tough. "If you're clear on what you want, not then. Once Lady Clinton asked me what do you other than poetry? I said it is a 24 hours job." He adds, "I don't meet very many people, don't indulge in sycophancy, therefore I don't lose touch with reality…People say I'm a philosopher, governments are scared of me and that's why they give me awards." The statement can't possibly explain honours ranging from Padma Bhushan, Punjab Rattan Award, The Millennium Peace Award…

It's for the things well deserved that the rebel poet uses the poetry to praise. "During the curtain raiser to Commonwealth Games at India gate, they wanted a song capturing Delhi's essence and flavour. I've really praised Delhi, it's a city where first the Mughals came and then the Englishmen…in the last lines there's an emotional appeal on removing terrorism."

He adds, "I've written four poems talking about the issue, which were published as editorials." While yet another song summarises the spirit of the games.

“Hum Sittaarein Hain Zameen Ke Aasman Tak Jaayenge, Jaan Se Pyaara Tiranga Chand Pe Lehrayegain."

It's more than the general observation, a casual remark; poetry as a genre is fading away.

"Youngsters are a little self-centred, they want to hear noises...They don't probably understand music, it's just the inner vacuum or emptiness portraying itself. That's why they turn to rowdy music. Music is meant to elevate one's soul." He adds, "We need to write their feelings, every writer these days is too commercial to capture the truth."

He cites yet another couplet to sum up, "Hum ek Kadam Bhi Chal Na Sake Aisi Raah Par, Chalte Rahe Hain Log Jahaan, Paaon Ke Bina."

manpriya@tribunemail.com

Don’t be judgemental
Take your own call on Raavan, says Vikram

Tamil actor Vikram, who portrayed contrasting characters in two versions of ace director Mani Ratnam’s latest flick Raavan feels the movie should not be judged by what others say. “People have their own opinion. Some might say it is good, some might say it is bad. But please do not judge the movie by what others say, Please go and watch the movie,” Vikram, who acted as Dev and Veera in the Hindi and Tamil versions said.

The actor who made his debut in Bollywood with the film was reacting to queries from reporters here when asked about Amitabh Bachchan’s tweet that editing glitches having ruined his son Abhishek’s role in the Hindi version. Malayalam actor Prithviraj, who acts as Dev opposite Aiswaraya Rai in the Tamil version, said he did not subscribe to Bachchan’s views, but respects it as his personal view. Vikram said the film, which has been shot in dense forests and tough locales is ‘poetry’ and should be seen as interpretation of a master craftsman. Vikram was delighted to share that the Tamil version of the film was doing well. The Hindi audiences could not have connected to its theme, he said when asked about the Hindi version not faring too well.

Prithiviraj said he was introduced as a Malayalam actor at the London premiere of the movie and that he was proud to have represented the Malayalam film industry on such a platform. The Hindi and Tamil versions have been released in 65 theatres on June 18 despite distributors and producers directive against it as it would affect the collections of Malayalam films. The Film Distributors association had wanted the film to be released after two weeks. — PTI

Just for thrills
Cameron Diaz loves her adventurous job in London

Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz loves acting because it gives her the chance to reinvent herself and play different characters onscreen. The 37-year-old star compares acting to adventure.

"You know what's great about this job? You can be bald for a day. You can have a partner for a day. You can hang off the back of a motorcycle for a day. I love that, through my films, I can be someone other than me for a period of time. Who wouldn't want to have that kind of adventure in life," Diaz said.

The Knight And Day star is also thrilled to have had the chance to reunite with actor Tom Cruise for their upcoming movie Knight and Day. They were last seen in 2001 romantic film Vanilla Sky. "That was a great movie, but pretty serious stuff. I was so excited to work with Tom again because I knew this would be a whole new world for us together. We could crack a smile, drive really fast and then run while things were blowing up," she said. The movie is due for release in UK cinemas on July 2. — PTI 

Rising star

Indian actress Freida Pinto is in talks to star opposite Spider Man star James Franco in the Rise of the Apes, the prequel to the Planet of the Apes. The 25-year-old actress, who shot to global fame with her small role as Latika in Danny Boyle's multiple-Oscar- winning film Slumdog Millionaire, will play Caroline, a primatologist in the 20th Century Fox movie.
Freida Pinto
Freida Pinto

The prequel is being directed by Rupert Wyatt and will be an origins story. John Lithgow also is eyeing a part in the film, who will play the father of Franco's character. Franco, 32, will play a driven scientist who becomes a crucial figure in the war between humans and apes.

Set in present day San Francisco, Apes deals with the aftermath of man's experiments with genetic engineering that lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy. The shooting of the movie is set to begin next month and it is slated to release on June 24, 2011.

Chernin Entertainment is producing the prequel, while Peter Jackson's visual effects house WETA digital will render photo-realistic apes, rather than costumed actors, for the first time in the franchise.

The script has been written by Amanda Silver and Rick Jaffa. — PTI 

It’s a boring job
Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson

British actor Robert Pattinson, who shot to fame after playing vampire Edward Cullin in Twilight series, says filming for the franchise can be boring.

"It can get a little boring. The good news is that the whole thing is done in seven months," the 24-year-old said.

The final instalment of the vampire franshise - Twilight: Breaking Dawn - will be split into two films. Part three, Twilight Saga: Eclipse, will premiere in the US June 30. — IANS

Ever Ready

Salman Khan-Asin starrer Ready directed by Anees Bazmi is being shot in the picturesque locales. The 44-year-old star was overwhelmed by the reception that he got from the people of Sri Lanka when he arrived for the IIFA function which convinced him to shoot his upcoming film.

He, who was here as the as the Brand Ambassador of Hands for Humanity charity project, was surprised to see that people were not only interested in Bollywood and its stars, but were also well- versed with the details of their personal life, report said. Earlier, Southern film industry had warned Bollywood stars of boycott if they attended that IIFA function in Sri Lanka.

They had stated that their films would not be allowed to be released in South India. Many Bollywood biggies, including Amitabh Bachchan, Shah Rukh Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, had chosen to skip the event. However, Salman seemed to have a good time as he persuaded Bazmi to chose Sri Lanka for shooting of the film, they said. The movie was originally to be shot in Mauritius, but after enjoying Colombo during the IIFA Weekend, there was apparently much enthusiasm from Salman to change locations to Sri Lanka, sources said. "Bazmee sent his crew to look for resort and jungle location which he wanted to shoot. The director liked what they shot and decided to seek permissions from the Lankan government," sources said.

Salman is expected to shoot for over 40 days at locations in Colombo and the adjacent Bentota. The audience would be reportedly allowed to watch the shooting of the film first hand without any restriction.— PTI

Voice over
My Hindi is very good: Trisha Krishnan

South Indian actress Trisha Krishnan who makes her entry in Bollywood with Akshay Kumar starrer Khatta Meetha, is fluent in Hindi but the actress is not dubbing in the new film. Trisha's voice is being dubbed by a professional in this Priyadarshan directed film because the actress, who plays collector, was required to have a perfect diction.

"I actually did want to dub for my lines in Khatta Meetha. I can read and write Hindi very well; my spoken Hindi is quite good too," Trisha, who is in Europe shooting for her new Tamil film.

"Since I enact the role of district collector, the spoken language had to be impeccable. It had to be perfect Hindi with no slang being used whatsoever." While for a regular role in a conventional Bollywood film it could have possibly worked, but the spoken language for this role had to be perfect. This is what Priyadarshan felt and he suggested the same to Trisha.

"For my very first film, Priyan didn't want anything to go against me. He didn't want to take any risk and brought in a professional dubbing artist. I didn't mind because her voice is quite close to that of mine. It totally resembles and those familiar with my work down South won't find much difference. So it is a win-win situation for all." Though she doesn't regret missing out on an opportunity to dub for Khatta Meetha, for her coming films she certainly wants to dub. "Of course, I would love to dub my own lines in my subsequent Hindi films. I am working harder on my diction and that would show in my next film." When it comes to movie, Trisha is certainly not a newbie as she has close to 35 films to her credit down South. In the industry for more than seven years now, she has seen quite a lot and is pretty much established and feels her Bollywood debut has come at the right time.

"With 'Khatta Meetha I am looking forward to more audience acceptance and appreciation coming in. I am also quite keen to see how people from South react to it. I have put 110 per cent in Khatta Meetha and can't wait for 23rd July when the film releases," she said.

She makes her Bollywood debut with Priyadarshan as a director and Akshay Kumar as the leading man. Could it actually have got any better than this for Trisha? "I don't think so. This is as good as it could have got. It was this very combination that made me take this step. Ever since my movies in South started doing well, there were questions around when would Bollywood happen for me.

"This is why when Priyan called and said that he had a film for me with Akshay, I had no reasons to say no. It was a meaty role and everything was just so perfect. Everything just happened over a 10 minutes phone call, as simple as that." — PTI 

Charged up
Bright, vibrant and gaudy colours are the latest trend this summer
Priyanka Batra

Where does fashion begin? Most people would agree on the ramp, with various designers setting the trends for the season. And this time, monochrome has made an early start with electric colours like yellow, blue, green and purple ruling the roost.
Megan Fox (L) and Lindsay Lohan sizzle in electric colours
Megan Fox (L) and Lindsay Lohan sizzle in electric colours

Says Agnivesh Joshi, store manager, Puma-17, "The trend of electric colours is the result of bright shades being worn by players at the FIFA world cup." Even as winter turned to spring and later summer, monochromes made an appearance. The black and white look has been left only for winter. Says Nikki Sharma, a Panchkula resident, "This season we have all the bright colours that were not in trend till last year. Blue is the new black and there is a hue for every age and taste. And the one colour universally recognised as the one that complements all skin tones is electric blue," she adds.

No, it doesn't stop at blue…we have the yellow as well. Adds Vinod Saini, store manager, Emerge-10, "Colours are the same but shades have changed. The bold, bright and vibrant colours are in."

Adds Amit Kaur, store manager, Mickey Chhabra, "Electric colours are so much in trend that they are mixed with soothing colours for a trendy look. T-shirts and tunics are mostly in electric colours these days."

Seconds Swati, resident of Sector-15, "People are bored of soothing colours and being a part of the crowd. Electric colours catch the attention and so they are in trend this season."

And what's with the monochromes? Says Shradha Suri, student of Panjab University, "Monochrome is a classic style promoted by our Bollywood stars. I like wearing clothes that my favourite stars wear in their movies such as Katrina Kaif in Ajab Prem Ki Gajab Kahani."

We sure have some electric charge this summer season! 

Take your pick
Kartika Sharma

After an overwhelming response to the festival of shawls and MMTC gold items, Phulkari (Punjab State Emporium)-17 has now come upwith an exhibition-cum-sale of its new summer collection (June 21 to 30).

And on display is a wide range of items, including sarees, suits, dupattas, kurtis, t-shirts, bedsheets, gift items and more. The main attraction is stuff with chikankari embroidery such as taipchi, bakhia, phanda, murri, jali and hatkati — a rare handloom collection from UP, Rajasthan and Punjab. One can buy carious items on discounts of up to 50 per cent.

The exhibition is also being held at all Phulkari outlets in Punjab, Delhi and Kolkata.

Punjabi by choice
Parminder, a city-based actor, is all set to make his mark in an upcoming serial

A Punjabi NRI visits his family in India after many years. The event is marriage of a cousin. Then begins a property dispute, a conspiracy, a murder followed by many more conspiracies and lies. Typical TV soap masala that can't go wrong. So, Parminder, a city based young actor, has every reason to be a part of it, even if he has to give up his career as a Radio Jockey. He's planning to move to Mumbai as soon as the shooting for the serial, Suno Sajna for Colors begins.

About his role, he says, "I play the role of the NRI who gets killed in the tenth episode of the serial." The duration of screen presence doesn't bother him much, "What's important is to get a break in the glamour world. Once you are there and work reasonably well, producers will notice you."

The ten episodes of the serial will revolve around him. It was two years back that he took the auditions for the serial. "The director promised me a role that would suit my personality," he says. But he acknowledges the fact that unlike the Indian film industry, tele-ville is a female dominated industry. "Women get all the major roles in the daily soaps. It's because of a huge female audience and the fact that women play a major role in Indian households. Serial makers project what audience can relate to."

Set in the Punjabi backdrop, the dialogues will have a typical Punjabi flavour. "In spite of being a fresher, I don't think I'll face any problems in delivering dialogues since Punjabi is my mother tongue." He feels making serials on regional concepts is purely a marketing strategy. "Most of the serials either have a Gujarati or Punjabi backdrop as people from these communities are settled world over."

Coming to the general scene of the industry, Parminder feels that Indian television industry with its wide reach and presence world over will provide young and budding actors like him a lot of opportunities.

Ashima Sehajpal

Art extravaganza
SD Sharma

Adding a new dimension to the concept of theatre festivals being held in the city, the Natya Toli (The People's Theatre), Panchkula, and Sandli Pairan Kala Kendra (SPKK) have teamed up for a Multi-Art Theatre Festival from July 2-4.

Parveen Jaggi, director SPKK theatre ensemble, opines that drama is a collective art form and demands involvement of people from all walks of life. He adds, "Our project will provide ample opportunities for people to display their talent in photography, painting, poetry and acting. It is about exploring new horizons in art and shaping the thoughts of budding artists from the region."

This will also cultivate a culture for promotion of art | and help in developing collaborations between local artistes, opines Sandeep Chatterjee of Natya Toli.

Notably, SUKRITI-2010 is the first of its kind art exhibition-cum-theatre festival being held in the region. During the festival, three plays, an exhibition of theme-based photographs, painting and poetry recitation competition will be held. City-based poets and artists will also be honoured. To facilitate more entries, details have been posted online on Facebook and Orkut.

Budding poets can also mail their creations to themezntrendz@gmail.com. Selected poems will be recited during the festival. Similarly, paintings of 20" by 20" size can be mailed on the above address. For the photo exhibition, digital images of size 8"x10" or 8"x12" inches with 75 dpi and above resolution can be mailed. The themes include 'Our Law and System' (July 2), 'Today's Women' (July 3) and 'Animals Mood' (July 4). Entries can also be made in the category of art works made of waste material.

Besides, 30-minute streetplays by institutes, colleges and amateur theatre groups will also be staged. The host groups Sandli Pirna Kala Kendra and Natya Toli will dramatise three stories - Ghar, Chaadi and Rishte under Rasbharian series (July 2 and 3) and play Vaa Varrole (July 4), all at the Randhawa auditorium from 5.00 pm onwards.

Play it right!

While working one need not look worked out! For the cool moves at work, John Players presents an exquisitely designed collection of formal wear this season. A contemporary collection in an exciting mix of colours, trendy styling & fits adds an extra edge to one's sense of style. The collection offers slim-fit and regular shirts in cotton, ideal to wear at work. With micro checks and herringbone structures, the shirts come in a balanced color palette of pastel to striking shades. A range of 'evening darks' shirts are perfect for evenings out with colleagues or even a formal dinner. The bottoms in self structures and subdued stripes come in regular fits with tones of dark olive, navy, charcoal grey, khaki and beige. Accentuating the appeal of the entire collection is the meticulously crafted collection of 'Summer Whites' shirts, a must-have in your wardrobe.

One can complement the cool look with ties and belts from the varied collection of accessories. So take your pick from the shirts priced at Rs.499 onwards and trousers at Rs 899 onwards. The collection is available at all John Players’ flagship stores. — TNS

Time out
Ashima Sehajpal

There's rarely any example of something like this — the prime motive replaced by the secondary and yet the popularity increasing manifold! "Watches aren't worn these days to keep a track of time. They are meant to be flaunted," says Ajoy Chawla, vice- president, retail, Titan Industries.

And, as he claims, the cell phone industry is saturating in comparison to the watch industry, which is expanding on a daily basis, "At the maximum, a person can keep with himself two cell phones, whereas the collection of watches can go up to any number."

He dishes out some figures to substantiate. "The total domestic market size of watches is 3,000 crore. However, it's still an underdeveloped market when compared to over a billion strong population. The market size in terms of population is less than 25 per cent and there is a lot to be tapped still," says Ajoy, in the city on Tuesday to launch the Helios, a multi-brand watch store by Titan.

"Only if people have an access to different brands under the same roof will they have an opportunity to choose," he adds. They also aim at expanding the customer section that owns more than two watches, which presently comprises a mere one percent of the total population.

Meanwhile, the store is only the second in India after the one in Bengaluru. And there is a reason behind preferring Chandigarh over Delhi and Mumbai. "Chandigarh has a huge population of youngsters that is brand conscious. So why not give them a chance to buy a watch of their choice." Available in the store would be watches of 34 brands. Ajoy believes that fashion designers who are designing watches to accessorise their clothing will also provide an impetus to the industry. "A watch is an extension of an individual's personality. As more and more people believe in it, more the market will expand," adds Ajoy.

Order wise
Birth order generally determines character traits as well as the choice of career
Mona

One's personality is a complex mix of many factors and studies increasingly point towards the 'birth order', which shape up some of these traits. A recent study in Britain points out that the order in which children are born can determine their career paths later.

The first-born child is likely to become a rockstar, while the middle one stands the highest chance of becoming a PM while the youngest child is most likely to become an actor, says the study. Does it really have to do with respective personalities of the kids or is it social conditioning that makes the difference? We check out.

Traditional wisdom points towards some common characteristics that first-borns, middle or youngest ones share. "Each child is blessed with a different nature, but yes I feel the order in which they are born does make a difference," says Kiranpreet Kaur, city sociologist. A lot of it depends on the social conditioning, she points out. "In the process of socialization, we generally project the elder kid as more responsible and mature. We generally say - You are the elder one and must set an example," she avers.

This tendency to expect the elder one to fill in the parents' shoes was even more prevalent in traditional patriarchal system. "It was the elder son who assumed responsibilities in the father's place in traditional, patriarchal and joint family system," says Kiranpreet. "This makes the first-born more sensitive and responsible," she says.

It's also the kind of attention the first-born kid gets that makes a difference, observes Dr Simmi Waraich, consultant psychiatrist from the city. "The first-borns get more attention and parents are generally more protective, which in turn has an effect on the kids' personality," she says. It's also the elder one who undergoes 'sibling rivalry' more. "The first-born finds it harder to adjust to a new sibling," she points out.

"Though on an average the upbringing is almost same, yet kids turn out to be so different from each other," says Dr Blossom Kochar, a single child herself and a mother to three kids- Sandeep, Mamta and Khushboo - born in that order. "Each of my kid has a different personality. Sandeep was a sensitive child, Mamta slightly shy, a hard-worker and most understanding, and Khushboo, brainy but carefree," says Dr Blossom.

It goes with the general perception that those born in the middle are understanding and worldly-wise while the youngest are the risk-takers and attention-seekers.

"The youngest ones have others to take decisions for them and courtesy the attention, they are carefree, which borders on the careless sometimes," says Dr Simmi. "Even as a society, we do not have roles defined for the youngest ones, which makes them more of risk-takers," says Kiranpreet.

"Whatever be the consequences of birth order, having siblings is a plus point despite the competition for resources and attention," she adds. "In a single child, socialization is not proper which might become a block in kids' future," she says.

Agrees Dr Simmi, "The competition between siblings is healthy in more ways than one. Having only one child generally reduces the chances of doing as well as one can in life for there are parents always to fall back on," she signs off.

mona@tribunemail.com

Relatively Speaking
First come, first served

Best bet

First-born kids are generally smarter and more intelligent than the middle or the last ones. While first-born kids are more pampered, the others are more responsible and patient. The eldest kid are provided the best of things and generally do not like sharing. On the other hand, the youngest ones take everything for granted and are poor decision-makers since they have elders to take care of them. The youngest ones cannot handle much pressure while first-borns tend to be team leaders and expect others to follow. They are good listeners and therefore become good researchers. The middle or the last ones are always loved so they expect care, attention and affection each time as compared to the firstborns who live in a world of unconditional love.

Kanupriya, Chandigarh

Different natures

TusharanshuOnce, a girl told her parents 'You're always biased towards my younger brother' to which the younger one argued, 'You've been loved for three years more than me because I was born late'. First kids are always special. When born, they bring unparalleled happiness in the family. But, with that also comes greater responsibility and at times, greater compromise. With, nuclear families coming up, not much difference emerges between the bringing up of first kid and his younger siblings but call it a science or a mere co-incidence, first kids are generally closer to their parents and understand them more. Younger ones generally have the luxury of three or more people looking after them, which at times makes them careless. But then, it all depends on individual natures. And, after all, parents never choose between kids!

Tusharanshu, Chandigarh

Responsible elders

Prabhjot KaurDuring earlier times, couples used to have more children and they grew up with bare minimum facilities. But now things have changed. Now, parents prefer to have either one or at the most two kids in the family. The culture of nuclear families, increasing work pressures, rising inflation, has encouraged parents to restrict the family size. In such a situation, parents expect a lot from their kids and the elder kid always faces the heat of higher expectations. Most of the parents feel that elder brothers and sisters should act as role models. This generally results in the transformation of the elder kid into a more mature personality. Elder kids, therefore, act more responsibly and are always there to help the younger siblings. They also manage household chores in an efficient manner and help their parents in all possible manner.

Prabhjot Kaur Chauhan, Mohali

Brand smart

Carrying a Victoria's Secret shopping bag can make you feel like a gorgeous and glamorous woman, according to a new research, which says that certain brands have personalities that can actually change the way some people feel about themselves.

"Why are brands such as Cartier, Harley-Davidson, and Nike so well-liked by consumers? One of the reasons is that they have appealing personalities. Using brands with appealing personalities can rub off on the way consumers see themselves, even if the brand is used for only a short time," say authors Deborah Roedder John and Ji Kyung Park (both University of Minnesota).

In a study, the researchers asked female shoppers in a local mall to carry either a Victoria's Secret shopping bag or a plain pink shopping bag. After an hour, shoppers were asked to rate themselves on a list of personality traits, including traits associated with the Victoria's Secret brand. Shoppers who carried the Victoria's Secret bag perceived themselves as more feminine, glamorous, and good-looking than shoppers who carried the plain shopping bag.

People bank on brands to look good because they believe their personal qualities are fixed and cannot be improved by their own efforts at self-improvement. In subsequent studies, the authors found that some people felt more intelligent, and more like leaders when they carried a pen embossed with an MIT logo. In one study, this was the case even after some participants were led to believe they did poorly on a math test. — ANI

Being spiritual

Youth define spirituality in terms of positive behaviours, feelings and relationships, an American study analysing the differences between spirituality and religion in adolescents has revealed. Anthony James, a student in the University of Missouri Department of Human Development and Family Studies , who is undertaking the research said: "Ultimately, we want to determine the impact of spirituality on positive youth development, including self-esteem and pro-social behaviour, and if it buffers against negative or risky behaviour.

"To begin that research, we first need to identify how youth define and practice spirituality." James examined adolescents' responses to the question, "What does it mean to be a spiritual young person?" The responses reveal that youth describe their spiritual behaviour in terms of seven categories related to personal and social development,: To have purpose; to have the bond of connections, including those to a higher power (typically God), people and nature; to have a foundation of well-being, including joy and fulfilment, energy and peace; to have conviction; to have self-confidence, and to have an impetus for virtue. — ANI

Renee Writes
Try again

I am a 25-year-old very strong girl and an MBA aspirant. I fell in love with a guy who is pursuing MBA. He would chase me all the time. His classmates got jealous and started to ask irrelevant questions. I went into a depression. Now I have found that he is having a relationship with another girl. I am still very interested in him and would like to marry him. He has contacted me on a community site. There he told me he is in love with someone else. Why should he bother to get in touch if this is so? I still love him and want to marry him. I am confused. Please advise.

Reena
Chandigarh

I can well understand your confusion as I feel that you have complicated matters unnecessarily for yourself. As you yourself have said that he was in a relationship with another girl and has never been in a relationship with you, why even bother. Just because he was chasing you does not mean he is in love with you. Also since he is already confessing that he loves another girl I feel you should forget about him. Love is a two way street. Why must you try to push things, always allow feelings to flow. Marriage is a serious issue, you cannot imagine you will marry someone just because he has been following you around or is chatting on a community site. Life is beautiful and full of wonderful people. Move on from your confined area and give your life a chance.

Move out

I am a 24-year-old under too much stress. I fear that I will die. My father beats me and scolds me and is always after me to do what he wants. I have qualified as an engineer, work as a teacher and want to march ahead in life in my career. My family does not support me. I feel helpless and broken. I don't know what to do and where to go. I have no house of my own. Please help me.

Sudha
Chandigarh

Just take hold of yourself. No situation is ever so bad that you need to kill yourself for it. I can understand your predicament and the psychological distress you are going through. But please calm your nerves. Life needs to be given a chance. First you must sort your priorities. You needn't think of moving to a new home. But yes you can definitely consider just applying for a job in a new city where a paying guest accommodation is available. Do not allow the situation to get to you. Of course to get beaten in completely unthinkable at your age but perhaps it would be nice if you have an elder member of the family to intervene on your behalf and explain matters to your father. Pray to the Universe to bring move clarity and good sense into your father's mind and also pray for guidance so that you get the courage and strength to deal with your situation in a better manner.

Gather support

I am 18-year- old girl just ready to finish college and go to university. I have completed my honours degree and have also managed a scholarship in a university in England .The problem is my mother does not want to let me go. Although my brother is already studying abroad, rules seem to be different for me. She says I should first get married and then go and do whatever. How can I agree with something like this? I feel my mother is jealous, as she was never allowed to have her way neither in her parents' home nor in her in-laws'. I feel she is taking it all out on me. Please tell me how to deal with this and also how should I find a way of studying further and building a career for myself. I am very depressed.

Parneet Kaur
Ludhiana

You have my sympathies. I know the world has moved on at such a fast pace but some of us are stuck in these situations which our culture seems to have created for us and don't know how to deal with it. After a western education the mind definitely broadens its horizon. There has to be logic and reasoning at every point in our lives. But I would strongly recommend that your keep your concentration on whatever is your aim in life. If you are convinced that a career is what you want definitely go for it. If you have a scholarship that's half of the battle won. Ask your brother to put in a word and try and get your father to approve of your decision. I'm sure some prayers could help too. Ask God he will definitely help you as long as your know how to help yourself. Good luck to you.



HOME PAGE | Punjab | Haryana | Jammu & Kashmir | Himachal Pradesh | Regional Briefs | Nation | Opinions |
| Business | Sports | World | Letters | Chandigarh | Ludhiana | Delhi |
| Calendar | Weather | Archive | Subscribe | Suggestion | E-mail |