Tweet and sour
Mud slinging becoming the order of the day on Twitter, we talk to a few die-hard tweeters on where to draw the line
Ashima Sehajpal

The little birdie's yellow beak can peck real hard at times. It just pecked Shashi Tharoor, tweeted some hush-hush matter about his lady in question and the damage was done. Next day, the mud slinging fest got worst (or better for that matter). Tharoor for a change didn't seek help from his birdie unlike Lalit Modi but the score was settled at a deuce. Blame the birdie for starting the controversy and unwrapping the secrets.

But then, has twitter forgotten its basic purpose? "It's not Twitter, it's we who are using it to put forth our opinion, without considering if it's in the good taste," says Mahi Gill.

The micro-blogging site is being used extensively by Bollywood actors and other celebrities for their status updates and to reach out to fans and friends. But what was that when Pritish Nandy, film producer, tweeted about Kareena Kapoor "Why don`t you see what she looked like in Chameli and compare it with Kambakkht Ishq. Kareena looked like a dream in those days. Today, she is a joke?" Is it justified to make a personal remark publicly?

Mandira Bedi, who is a regular on Twitter, is against posting anything that is unpleasant. She says, "It's a wonderful medium to stay in touch with fans and to voice your opinion on a certain subject but a line has to be drawn."

In a recent controversy when Gautam Gambhir called Rajasthan Royals (RR) an ordinary team, team owner Shilpa Shetty chose Twitter as the medium to hit back. "I heard Gambhir called RR an ordinary team! We are a team with extraordinary talent, 2008 IPL champions not so ordinary after all."

Mandira's tweet on the same was that she was offended by Gambhir's statement and it might bite him back. She sticks to her stand, "I wasn't taking anybody's side. I felt like expressing myself and that is what Twitter is for. If Delhi loses to Rajasthan team in a match, Gambhir might have to chew 
his words."

Modi posting the details of Kochi team on Twitter served the cause better than holding a press conference. As Ranvijay Singh, actor and VJ, says, "Reveal something controversial on Twitter and the media begins to follow you. Twitter can be very harmful if used by people to demean someone."

Twitter rather has acquired such a significant place in people's life that they don't mind sharing personal matters frequently. Sania Mirza updated her status on marriage quite regularly, "…me and my family knows what the truth is, we've known it all along and we have confidence in God's justice. Never in my life I thought that I'd had to worry about anything of this sort, rather than my mehendi," she posted.

Jaspal Bhatti, a city-based actor and comedian, feels that personal information posted by celebrities on Twitter has bigger implications. "Twitter has become a medium to back bite and take digs. It, at times is like a saas-bahu saga, where everything said has a double meaning." Who can forget Aamir Khan's blog post on naming his dog after SRK!

Certain posts are written only with the aim to gain attention, more spicy the posts are, more is the number of followers one has. As Anuja Chauhan, author of Zoya Factor, says, "People do tweet sometimes to create a buzz. Also, they do understand what a tweet can do in a few minutes. Twitter is the new breaking news." The only way to save Twitter's real purpose is to use it for what it is meant for.

Ranvijay feels there's an urgent need to use the site for ethical puposes. "A careless tweet can have serious repuricssions." He is against criticism by anyone for anyone.

On ther other hand, Mandira says, "The site though shouldn't be used to run others down, being too conscious would mar the purpose of Twitter."

Well, till the celebs figure out where to draw the line, let's enjoy the the sight of dirty linen being washed in public!

ashima@tribunemail.com

Chef's special
Mona

Her dream is to be in Garry Rhodes's (celebrity chef, English restaurateur and cookery writer) league one day. She stands 10-12 hours a day, maintains provisions, is the lone girl in her workplace and drives back home at the dead of night - Mandeep Kaur Tiwana, a tall, lean girl in late twenties from Bhatinda exudes loads of confidence.

"One can make it big if one chooses their interest as their profession," she says. And she certainly has. Chef de partie at Siona-36, Mandeep is one of the very few women chefs in the city, chose to work in male dominated industry. Ironically, kitchen is all women arena but when it comes to professional cooking, its men who rule. Mandeep has dared to be an exception.

Looking smart in her chef's white coat, black trousers and cap, she comes across as a go-getter. "I was passionate about cooking from the very beginning and always confident that whatever number of people come home, I can entertain," she shares.

A professional diploma from Bhatinda and Mandeep was all set to enter the real scene. "There were a few girls who joined with me. While one of them is working as a chef in Canada, not many could complete it for they found it tough," she says.

After working in a few star restaurants in Bhatinda, she headed to Chandigarh. "I was fortunate that people had faith in me," she says. In fact her bosses like her for she ensures discipline. "My colleagues, though highly cooperative, confess that sometimes they don't like me for they have to be well-behaved.”

Mandeep handles Indian kitchen at the Siona with other chefs. Her specialties are biryanis, kebabs and Indian desserts - shahi tukra and kheer. "I have been working in this field for seven years now and quite used to the fact of being the lone woman that it does not even occur to me now," says Mandeep.

Daughter of a landlord, Mandeep's career decision was questioned by many, including her family. "My parents were worried how would I be able to do this being a girl. The work involves lots of physical labour, shift timings are long and it's all standing job," she says. But her determination made them bow. "Now they are so proud. In fact, the entire neighbourhood comes asking for recipes."

Unlike most male chefs, Mandeep loves to cook at home as well. " Whenever I visit home, I prepare meals in minutes,” she says, adding that there is still a long way to go, "It's French cuisine that I want to master next".

Treading on treacherous ground
City youngsters provide some helpful tips when it comes to protect oneself in the big bad cyber world
Mona

Today, when we study, shop, chat, pay bills, play games online, it’s almost impossible not to have friends with whom you connect on Internet. However, the recent Shoib Malik-Ayesha case once again puts all pervasive online love in a spot. Should you, shouldn’t you — we check out with city youngsters.

“Committing only on the basis of online relationship, to me, is a sign of desperation,” says Anoop Arora, who recently joined his father’s business. “Well online arena is a nice place to get to know people, for the initial interaction but before you decide to spend a lifetime together, I guess personal meeting is a must,” he adds.

One must maintain distance in online relationships and beware for everyone acts uber sweet, he cautions. “Online you could be what you want to be, living in NYC, 6’ 2’’, rich and spoilt, a proud owner who walks his dog for in Central Park — who is there to check? But of course if he is not, whole idea of relationship falls apart,” he says.

Anoop’s statement finds support from others too. “Though I am all in favour of online social networking sites, the idea of actually marrying someone online is weird,” says Prerna Dhillon, a B Com student from the city. “See there are many guards that one adopt to be secure online. I always make a check ‘Do I know you’ before I add someone on my online buddy list. Webcam is only for the family or the closest members and as for pictures you can always choose who do you want to share with, so I do not think that online world is that bad, one just needs to be smart,” she says.

Agrees Jayeesh Bakshi a final year student of Chemical Engineering, Thapar University, “Danger is everywhere. Every other day one reads about brutal murders by your own kin. One has known them for life and still they proved dangerous. So, that danger is online too,” he says. “Now how to save yourself is what you learn from the way you are raised and taught,” he says.

He offers solutions. “Be cautious if the person on the other end sounds too flattering, don’t disclose too much too soon, get the background check done, apart from that I guess it’s fine. Everything has limitations, so are they in the virtual world,” he says.

For Dr Sonia Madaan, who is doing post-graduation in dental science and an active member of the cyber world, caution is the key. “It’s not possible not to have friends online,” says Sonia. “I agree that if not more at least half of the people one meets online are fake. So, be on guards. Whenever you meet someone nice, take your time before you exchange numbers or pictures,” she says. “The social networking sites do keep adding security features to protect your identity, but still let’s not be an open book for everyone in the virtual world,” she suggests.

mona@tribunemail.com

Bond wagon
Daddy’s darling

Relatively speaking
I do…virtually
Fast and disastrous

Sarabjeet Kaur, Chandigarh

Not done!

The term Internet wedding is a broad term. In simple words, it implies marriage, which is conducted through Internet. There are different ways of conducting this ceremony online. Generally the bride and the groom sit in front of the webcams at their respective locations and the ceremony is conducted. This is done when boy and girl are residing at unapproachable places.

Many a times when parents are residing in different countries and their children are settled in different countries, they adopt this technique. In that case, kids perform this online wedding and parents can watch their kids getting married and also share their blessings.

This new way of getting married is not in line with our social system. The grandeur of marriage is lost and moreover the interaction of relatives, friends etc with the couple are also missing. Religious and social customs also goes for a toss. Internet wedding is more like playing a simulation game where no reality exists. So, the concept of Internet wedding should be declared unethical and should be banned.

Baljinder Singh, Chandigarh

Culturally unacceptable

Though the concept of Internet wedding sounds fascinating and technologically feasible but this system will take us far away from our roots and Indian culture.

Wedding is not just an Internet gaming or chatting. It’s a life-long relationship that needs the presence of two families on this auspicious day. Internet wedding will abolish our rituals and traditions performed on the day, which makes this day a memorable one. Blessings and greetings of all our near and dear are also essential for the newly wed couple. Though the expenditure on the lavish wedding will be resolved but the charm of the Indian marriages will be lost.

Jaspreet Kaur, Patiala

Virual matchmaker

For some reason there is a stigma attached to Internet weddings. My friend who is married with one beautiful daughter met her husband through Internet. And they lived in opposites sides of the country.

There are many ways to meet your other partner. It could be in the library, colleges, park or through mutual friends or family. But why is meeting through Internet looked down upon? It isn’t any different to a rishta arranged by the family because both ways you don’t know the person your dealing with and there’s a possibility that he or she is not acting like they really are.

I know that people online are strangers but obviously you would meet them before agreeing to marry. We buy things online and trust people with our credit card details and even can study online. So why do people look down on meeting your partner this way?

I’ve met people the interactive ‘ordinary’ way but have always been deceived by them, so why do people think there is a higher chance of deception online?

Palka Sood, Chandigarh

Lifestyle invites responses from readers on the following issue:
How to enjoy with your family in this hot, sultry weaher.

Please email the responses in around 200 words to lifestyletribune@gmail.com or post along with your photo and contact number to ‘Relatively Speaking’, Lifestyle, The Tribune, Sector 29, Chandigarh. The best few responses will be published.

Renee Writes
Believe in yourself
at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or Life Style, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chd

You are identifying too much with your ego. That is what keeps you anxious and fearful constantly. The more self-critical you get, the more you feed the needs of that ego. Do try and remember that you are not your body, emotions or even your problems, stop identifying so strongly with them. Just learn to accept that you are here to experience and enjoy life. Being spiritual has nothing to do with no drinking and smoking. Just ease out and relax. Do affirm for yourself, I am a fabulous expression of life. Everything I need comes to me. I am protected by the universe and guided correctly. As your confidence in your own self will grow life will begin to get better and better.

Repeating patterns

I am worried about a friend who has been living in am abusive marriage for the more than 15 years. Although her husband is not physically abusive, emotionally she is a complete wreck. But the strange thing is that she thinks this is pretty normal and all men are treat women like this and women are supposed to bear it. I have over the years watched her going through depression. I really want to reach out the heal her but do not know how to go about it. Please advise.

Neelima Sen, Panchkula

In your childhood years if you have been treated badly by your mother or father then unfortunately you start associating this behavior with love. You start believing that each time you are going through a bad patch in their marriage, it is a mens’ way of showing cares. This is like a prison of resentment and depression is a refuge. Now she is still living the same pattern and feeling happy in it. She is associating being treated badly with actually being loved. You can help by asking her to open her heart out to you. Try and help her to stand up for herself in a positive way.

Chin up

I am 21 and have come from Delhi to study here. Since my family is from Punjab, its culture always fascinated me. But now that I am here, I find it difficult to relate to other students. The boys stay away thinking I am a big city girl and therefore clever. The girls pass snide remarks. I am in a state of dilemma whether I should go back or stick around and learn about my culture and traditions.

Gunveer Kaur, Landran

It is wonderful that youngsters like you are beginning take serious interest in your own culture.Do not be affected by people’s attitude towards you. Don’t worry, people come around. It takes a while to get accepted in a new set up and new environment. We must learn to adapt. If you come across with ease and ignore a few snide comments, I’m sure the others will finally stop treating you like an outsider. Stick to your guns. Indulging your passion in life is a very important thing. We are all here to experience life to our fullest capacity. Do allow yourself the freedom to do so.

Ethnic elegance
Salwar suits, churidars and saris are good options for the summer
Neha Walia

Beginning a new season of the latest fashion prospects, style possibilities and wardrobe probation, the summer is being received well by the fashion conscious. And, by that we don't mean strings, straps, tanks, jumpers, tunics and hot pants but the very elegant and graceful traditional wear.

One doesn't have to wait for a wedding to happen to flaunt designer drapes. Though age is no bar when it comes to fashion, with innovative designs of salwar-kameez, churidars, flowy elegance of six yards, the complete Indian look has turned semi-formals and daily wear. Not to mention the fact that those smart churidars or chiffons can make your mother or bhabhi look years younger and the younger girls can add more maturity for appeal.

So, what's in store? All kinds of fabrics with motifs, embroidery, patchwork, weaves and Indian dyes. Breaking away from the usual belief that cottons are the only fabric for summers, the traditional wear shelves display as many options, as many takers. "Cottons are a favourite but fabrics like organdy, chiffons, georgettes, net too serve well during summers. There is so much happening in semi-formal traditional wear with patchwork, gotta patti, sequins and laces," says Babi Grewal of Babi's-8. Balancing between subtle and stylish, the trend weaves in comfort too.

"The wearability of traditional dresses has always been high, owing to its neat and graceful appeal. It suits the style of young and old," says Hina, a designer from Karachi, Pakistan who offers her collection of exquisite suits, sarees, and kurtis. Her clientele includes young girls to middle-age women and she swears by the easy style quotient offered by the ethnic dress code. "Traditional handwork, lace work on net, Mughal and floral prints in chiffons, cottons and crepes are easy to carry in a formal or informal routine. Ready to wear kurtis with chikan work and lace work too look casual chic," she says. And, if you have the taste for some cross border fashion exchange, then Hina has labels of famous Pakistani designers Gul Ahmed and Sonia Batala.

Recently showcasing her collection at the Karachi Fashion Week, Hina says she is familiar to the Punjabi market. "I have been marketing my designs in Ludhiana, Amritsar and Chandigarh for the past three years and have observed that ethnic wear are no more restricted to heavy embroideries and finishes. Right to the stitching styles to patterns and works on fabrics, everything has got a touch of simplicity with élan," she says.

In saris, the prints and fabrics got lighter too. "Brasso work with dull sequins or fibro work which is very exquisite in its detail, saris promise to complement you, any given time of the day," says Hina.

Aren't you tempted to drop your once a week Indian wear routine and pick up some complements for yourself and your mom alike!

nehawalia@tribunemail.com

Fashion jungle
Neha Walia

Another designer store opens in Chandigarh! And another reason to smile for fashionistas high on brands. Aranya, a designer boutique opened in Sector 7, offers designer suits, sarees, tunics and fabrics to pep up your summer wardrobe.

With the emphasis on Indian cuts and drapes, the collection is a mixed bag of traditionally rich handloom merged with contemporary designs and finishes. "We aim to market Indian handloom and dyes on fabrics with a designer appeal. And, since Aranya means essence of the forest, our clothes too change in their trends, fabrics, colours and styles," says Sunaina Chandna, co-owner of Aranya.

The collection includes cottons with chikan and hand embroidery, formal and semi-formal wear in chanderi, tussar silk and cocktail wear in georgettes and chiffons. The saree collection too is exclusive with a range of kundan, zari work and old school arts like kalamkari and block printing on georgettes and raw silk. One of the designer pieces has Chinese calligraphy embroidered in a diagonal pattern with Kashmiri thread. "We are trying to promote Indian artisans and weaves through some of our exclusive range and cover everyday wear to formal wear," says Geeta.

They also have labels like Nita Bhargava and Shyam Narayan, but Geeta prefers the young designers making the cut. "The upcoming designers are more open to ideas and understand our requirements better. They are creative and play around with the fabric."

nehawalia@tribunemail.com

Different strokes
Tribune News Service

Artworks by GS Harika doesn't follow a set pattern or a particular theme. They are as diverse as his experiences. "Every painting is inspired from an experience in life. A theme would have limited my thought process and creativity," he says.

Thus the collection which is on display at Punjab Kala Bhavan-16 comprises landscapes, social messages to save the wild life, conserve environment and eat healthy. The landscapes show beauty of various states he had travelled in India. "Which include beaches of Kerala, Pondicherry and Goa, Thar Desert in Rajasthan, snow-clad mountain of Ladhakh and greenery of Sangla Valley," he explains.

He has also painted women of Chamba wearing the traditional jewellery. "Certain things in our culture are fading away and art is the only medium to preserve them," he says. He has also painted the traditional curd churner.

A businessman by profession, Harika began painting during his childhood. A painting he made during his schooldays is also on display, which depicts a fisherman in a boat returning home. In his painting, Horrors of War, he has depicted the war scene. "I want to dedicate it to soldiers who watch our borders by risking their lives," he signs off.

Concludes today.

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