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It’s all about money
The director-cum-cinematographer behind the camera, Eriflex 3, has a point. “How can a two crore film compete against a 20 crore project.” Anybody who has managed to get a 33 per cent in mathematics or someone who is exceedingly well with numbers can see the difference. At least, Manmohan Singh, Mannji as people love to call him, can! “We keep talking about Punjabi cinema; how it should have experimental scripts and how it needs to uplift itself,” says Manmohan Singh, in city shooting for his project Ik Kudi Punjab di. “But, where is the money. Making a movie, with everything in place requires budget, which the Punjabi film industry does not have. Secondly, we need to be technically sound as well. This again comes with better cameras like Eri 4 or 5. These cameras increase the budget.” Nevertheless, Mannji is not worried about the camera, as long as the lens is in order he will get good results. He has different concerns though. “We need to give more importance to regional cinema. The government too should do something about the same. I don’t have any problem with the audiences. They do not bother about how much money goes into making a film. They want to see exotic locales, big stars and intriguing story lines, which a 20 crore movie offers,” explains the director, who has been working with the biggies of Bollywood. “People ask me why we can’t experiment with the themes in Punjabi cinema,” smiles Mannji, time and again taking a good look at his camera, “And I say, do you want that whatever audience comes to watch Punjabi movies should also run away.” “The Punjabi genre caters to all kinds of audiences, the ones in Punjab and the NRIs as well. So the entire approach needs to be balanced,” he adds. However, the director is still hopeful. And where? “In the unexplored territories such as Delhi, Gwalior, Indore, Tata Nagar etc, which has a good population of Punjabis. I think Punjabi cinema can expand its business there,” he explains. Ideas cascade like a waterfall even as we wonder what has kept this director’s faith alive? “I have always projected the real Punjab in my movies, without making Punjabis a target of jokes; a common practice with many other movies. I stick to my values and I have hope that things will change for good.” Just like the theme of his movie, Ik kudi Punjab Di. jasmine@tribunemail.com |
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We’re doing it right
Friday’s are no more exclusive to Bollywood. Big banners, larger than life stars and telling stories…we are talking about the Punjabi movie industry that’s got a second life, thanks to the multiplex culture. And now, it’s all set to demand its due at the box office.
“We have people who are investing big time in the industry; good scripts and production values, known stars. Why shouldn’t we look forward to a bright future?” says Gurdaas Mann, who along with Bhagwant Mann was in city to promote their latest movie, Sukhmani. “It won’t be fair to say that Punjabi movie industry is resting on the shoulders of Punjabi singers only. The good part is that movies being made are good, Punjabi adab and maa boli is being promoted.” The singer-actor, who has given his lifetime to Punjabi entertainment, is ready to impress once again, romancing the olive green for the first time on screen. “I have always been in love with the uniform. Sukhmani has given me a chance to bring out that love and respect.” Cast alongside Juhi Chawla and Divya Dutta, he has an issue to raise with the movie. “The number of Punjabi youths opting for the armed forces is decreasing. The movie aims to encourage them to serve the nation,” he says. Bhagwant Mann had the same message, but with a different application. “Sukhmani is all about Army life, the discipline they have. I hope people will imbibe tha.” He too appreciated the efforts made by the upcoming artistes. “There are new issues on which movies are being made. The scripts match Bollywood levels and movies are being promoted worldwide for our NRI audiences.” Although the movies are free from the Jatt influence, the music industry is still busy glorifying the attitude. “Jatt te koi kanoon laago nai hunda. (No law is applicable on Jatt). We need to change this, Punjabis are not about violence and drugs,” he says. nehawalia@tribunemail.com
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In search of identity
A whopping 1.05 billion people had the opportunity to participate in this national level contest; a contest of sorts that had no equals, no comparisons, and in which any Indian could participate. Age, status, educational qualification, profession, region, religion, language, held no bar. Proposed by the Indian Government, the competition invited from people creative designs for the symbol that can aptly represent the Indian rupee, just as for other currencies such as dollar, pound, euro and yen. And over 25,000 applications were received from people across the country, a response that was quite expected for as important a subject as this. Out of the lot five have been shortlisted. Before the results are announced in March this year, we ask people as to what the symbol of Indian currency should look like and what makes it imperative. “The fact is that India is a growing economy and it’s high time we have a distinct identity for our currency, just like other major economies of the world,” suggests Diwan Manna, a city-based photographer. And it was the nature of the contest that caught everybody’s attention. Open to all, people could send designs not smaller than 232 square cm drawn on the standard A4 sheet of paper. Says DS Kapoor, Principal of Government College of Arts, who participated in the contest, “The magnitude of the contest was extraordinary. It was yet another trait of a democratic society that welcomed inputs from all, irrespective of the social background.” Kapoor made the symbol using the ‘Ru’ in Devanagari script. “I didn’t want to use another English alphabet to denote the Indian currency. ‘Ru’ in Devanagari is an original idea and not a copy of western concepts.” Kapoor undertook intensive research before deciding upon the design of his symbol. “I studied the reasons that led to selection of symbols of certain currencies and how they represent the ethos of their country.” Besides this, Diwan feels the symbol should be such that can be understood by illiterates as well. “Other symbols of our country like the national emblem do not require any explanation. They are easily identified and understood as symbols of India by the people. The symbol of the Indian Rupee should be on similar lines.” If some entries for the contest put forward Devanagari symbols, some suggested those that should be globally understood. Rajiv Kaul, director, Intelligia, a software development company, recommends, “The symbol shouldn’t be limited to Devanagari script or already popular figures of India.” Citing example of new stainless steel Rupee coins, he explains, “Value of a coin is pictorially depicted by ‘mudra’ of the hand, a symbol that any anyone can understand. It symbolises India and is yet very modern.” He says that the sign should be easy to draw and globally accepted. Jaideep Lunial, director, Wealthgyan, a financial planning company, feels a symbol would help in brand building. “All the major economies of the world have one, so why not India? As the symbol to be selected is from the perspective of a common man, it would be well-received by the general public.” ashima@tribunemail.com
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Of fits and misfits
His father Dharmendra often got compared to a Greek god and the string of action hits he delivered is unmatched till date but actor Sunny Deol feels that in today's scenario his family is a misfit in Bollywood.
The actor, who is known for his larger than life persona onscreen with action hits like Ghayal, Damini and Ziddi, is a reclusive in real life and is famous for not attending award ceremonies. "Our family has been in the industry because people liked our work. We never went for propaganda to promote our films. In fact, today is a scenario that we are a misfit in the industry. But nobody changes and we are not going to change to that extent," Sunny said. Sunny, 53, feels that action genre has gone under the knife for all the wrong
reasons. "Action films were not just about action, they were emotional outlets like Hollywood have this films which are larger than life, you just went to see them for the feel good effect. Here directors don't understand that," he said. "I always did films without thinking if I am ahead of time or not. I still feel that films which were made years back were better than the ones made today," he added. The actor, who was in the Capital to inaugurate Club Fitline's third Health Club admits that he finds most actors to be fit now a days. "But the only person I am in awe of is my dad." —
PTI |
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Scripted talk
R Madhavan is surely doing a different kind of cinema but he doesn't want to experiment with the genres. The multilingual actor says he just wants to work on good scripts but rues that these are hard to come by."I don't want to experiment with genres, I just want to work on great scripts. I wish I had the luxury of saying that I have six scripts that are fantastic and let me see which one I want to do," Madhavan said in an interview."Finding one good script is a huge challenge. So, I do a film whose script comes and grabs me.
Once I finish that, I look forward to the next movie," he added.Madhavan admitted that he follows his instincts while shooting although he goes through the necessary preparation to get under the skin of a character."I take all the information, I do all the rehearsals and the positioning and then I switch myself off completely. I forget whatever I have learnt and let the instincts take over. Sometimes, it is the cumulative effects of all but sometimes it is natural and totally different from what I have rehearsed to be," said the actor, who shares screen space with Amitabh Bachchan in Teen Patti.He is a huge fan of Bachchan and has become his devotee after working with him."I was a huge fan of Mr Bachchan and now I am his devotee. It's his personality that made him stay in the industry for 40 years," he said.Directed by Leena Yadav, Teen Patti is an emotionally riveting and razor sharp thriller about greed and deception. Releasing Feb 26, it also stars Hollwyood veteran Ben Kingsley.Asked about his character in the film, Madhavan said: "I play a professor who wants to have the luxuries of life as soon as possible. So he makes certain compromises for which he has to make a lot of sacrifices."The actor was recently seen in the super duper hit 3 Idiots. After the film, Madhavan, who has always been choosy about his movies, would go even slower. "I am very choosy about my films. I don't do a film just for the sake of money. I will continue to be choosy and I will go even slower now. I will wait for movies that are of equal calibre or have something, at least little bit, in respect to 3 Idiots. Teen Patti is one among them."Talking about his transition from a student in 3 Idiots to a professor in Teen Patti, he said: "Actually, I did the role of the professor first and then became a student. We actually finished Teen Patti before 3 Idiots."Madhavan's next project is director Aanand L. Rai's Tannu Weds Mannu. It is a romantic movie and he has teamed up with Kangana Ranaut in it. — IANS |
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Getting ready
Sandra Bullock has joked she needs to make preparations, including getting some liposuction, for the upcoming Oscars. The actress bagged a Best Actress nomination for her role as Leigh Anne Tuohy, a blonde Memphis mother who takes in a homeless, high-school student, in the movie The Blind Side.
"I do believe some liposuction is in order, a very strict diet regime, and I will acquire a very light English accent," Us magazine quoted her as saying on the Today show. "I was going to say that I should start wearing glasses, but I already wear glasses, so I am already sort of there," the 45-year-old Miss Congeniality star added. In a statement to the Hollywood Reporter, Bullock said, "I'd always assumed that the road to Oscar was planned. I thought people chose projects that were considered 'Oscar-worthy.' No one wanted to make this film. I didn't want to make this film for the better part of the year. Everyone is as blindsided - can I say that? - as I am." —
ANI |
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Khan’s the name
Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan's much-awaited film My Name Is Khan will see its world premiere in Abu Dhabi next week. The film, which marks the return of the famous onscreen pair Shah Rukh and Kajol after a gap of eight years, is a love-story in the backdrop of post 9/11 America.
Directed by Karan Johar and co-produced by Khan, the film will premiere in Abu Dhabi on February 10 followed by an European premiere in Berlin two days later. Thousands of fans are expected to descend on the Emirates Palace hotel in the capital to catch a glimpse of the 44-year-old star, who has a huge fan following in the country. In the movie, Khan plays Rizwan, a man suffering from Asperger's syndrome (a form of autism), who embarks on an extraordinary journey across America to win back the love of his life, Mandira (Kajol). My Name Is Khan is one of the first Bollywood films to be distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures in the US. Imagenation Abu Dhabi is in a partnership with Fox Star studios to distribute the film in the Middle East. The film will see its worldwide release on February 12. —
PTI |
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Batman disaster
Hollywood star George Clooney's latest movie Up In The Air garnered five Oscar nominations on Tuesday but there is one film about which he may not be so proud — Batman and Robin.
The 1997 movie starring Clooney as the caped crusader with Chris O'Donnell as Robin and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl came top in an online survey by film magazine Empire to find the most disastrous film ever made.
The magazine said it did not just come top in voters' rankings but got almost three times as many votes as the next entry — John Travolta's science-fiction Battlefield Earth, which was a film adaption of a novel by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. |
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Art at its best
It was united colours of northeast on the culminating day of the seven-day affair, finale of the art extravaganza. Art Conclave - North East, an endeavour of Lalit Kala Akademi, New Delhi, in association with Chandigarh Lalit Kala Akademi had 15 artists from northeastern states placed here for a workshop-cum-painting camp.
It was time to exchange addresses, put a comma to the interaction and discuss the final pieces. Shares Vijaymani Thulung, the solo artist from Sikkim, "I painted my entire journey from Sikkim till here, the beautiful sunny mustard oil fields and everything. It all fell on the canvas on its own." For the other works, women themes dominated. There's a tree springing to life from a mother's womb, another had thunder lightening, parched earth and dark blue skies sharing the space on the same canvas vertically. Yet another depicted a snake-charmer at work, while in others abstract colours ruled. While another work had the rough anatomy of a human body staring at you, which was open to interpretation. Explains Pranab Chakraborty, from Tripura, "I believe paintings should promote some cause, some activity. Through this human body I'm trying to show an artist's beauty; they have a painful beauty." The camp aimed at giving local artists and art aficionados an opportunity to interact, to see from close quarters the creative process of them at work. And amid the discussions, it was free flowing back and forth communication with the screening of a 20-minute film on Dr MS Randhawa…a legend, playing along at the venue. Shares Babli Das, another artist from Tripura, "In my works I've painted my freedom." She points to the bird-like object against the vast backdrop of yellow. "It symbolises my hands and the round brown thing is my earth, my land and the nature." —
Manpriya Khurana |
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Sing-a-song
Very often people lament the loss of good singers and composers. And then, the same group becomes critical of upcoming artistes who give us a lot to look forward to!
"Jai ho took the world by storm by winning the Oscars and now the Grammy. Indian music is indeed on a new high," opined education icon Manmohan Garg and acclaimed vocal maestro Rinku Kalia while addressing a press conference at KC Residency, Chandigarh, on Wednesday. Rinku Kalia maintains that it is imperative to learn classical music first before opting for any lighter genre, be it ghazal, filmy music et al. "Any classical art may be rooted in tradition but it survives through innovation," says Rinku. The Gurukul Vidyapeeth has teamed up with the S-4 Trust led by Rinku Kalia, winner of the coveted Zee TV's Sa Re Ga Ma contest, to motivate young singers and provide them an opportunity to showcase their talent. While disclosing the schedule of the 'Voice of Chandigarh-2010' contest, Manmohan Garg CEO, Gurukul Vidyapeeth says, "Auditions will be conducted at the Government Museum, Sector 10, on February 7 from 9.00 am onwards. Contestants will be grouped in two categories, 9-14 years and 14-18 years. The finalists will be decided by team of experts led by Rinku Kalia." Besides, competitions for 'Dancer of Chandigarh 2010', the 'Great Chandigarh Laughter Champion' and 'Singing Olympiad for Special Children' would also be held. The talent hunt, held in phases, will culminate into a mega musical show at the Tagore theatre on September 29, the birthday of legendary Lata Mangeshkar. Both Garg and Rinku Kalia claimed that the contest would provide a platform for budding singers and dancers to perform along with mainline Bollywood and accredited regional singers. The winners would be given a chance to work in the modern audio-visual projects of Gurukul Vidyapeeth and the S-4 Trust. No fees would be charged from those wanting to contest and forms can be download from the website www.gurukul.cc. Those interested can register themselves before February 7, the date of the audition. |
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Music of freedom
Music is the finest of the performing arts that nourishes the mind and soul but if performed for a noble cause like providing education to the poor girls, it exudes divinity," observed Puneet Bedi while inaugurating a Sufi concert organised by the MCM DAV College in collaboration with DPR, Haryana, for Women at the college auditorium. The Sufi maestros of Kumar Bandhus, namely Anup Kumar and Hemant Kumar, dedicated the soiree to their resolved mission of education for a girl child. They exhorted the college students to support a needy girl with whatever help they could afford. The intrusive students and the staff avowed through clapping. The spirit got augmented as three families with single girl child were honoured at this occasion to set an example.
The maestros opened up with an invocatory shloka Vakrtund .. which melted into an Amir Khusro classic Chhap tilak sab cheeni ... Kumar Bandhus recreated the mysticism of Baba Bulleshah with the rendition of Saade wal mukhda moad before singing romance filled composition Sawan ki bheegi raat on mein.. :immortalised by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. They brought alive the spiritual content of Meera Bai's classic Main toh sanwre ke rang… before doling out more numbers Jis tan lagge, Ni mein kamli haan, Nitt khair manga to conclude with the boisterous Dama Dam Mast Qalander, gripping the audience with the Sufiana fervour. An array of accomplished musicians like Prof Murlidhar ( harmonium) Debashish Dhar ( tabla) Prakash Nepali ( flute ) and Dharm Pal on Dholak embellished the concert. Principal of the college Dr Puneet Bedi, herself submerged in the Sufi spirit, hailed the event as innovative idea in educating students about social issues through meditative means of Sufi music. Dr Bedi stressed upon the significance of empowering women through education as the foundational method of building a strong future for the world. Dr Bedi insisted upon MCM's aim of establishing an appreciative world for the girl child and a called the concert an appropriate way of beginning such an exercise through divine means. |
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Let the arrow strike
On this special occasion of Valentine's Day, Divine Solitaires India's fastest growing diamond brand has gone a step ahead and added one more feather to its cap by introducing the most magnificent pattern of Hearts and Arrows for the first time in India. This Valentines forget the flowers and chocolates!! Celebrate your special moment in a most unique way.
Beauty can catch your eyes, but it takes someone special to strike an arrow in your heart and be your valentine. Experience that Divinity in each and every piece of Divine Solitaires that carries the magnificent pattern of Hearts and Arrows. "Magnificent pattern of Hearts &Arrows represents proof of precision cutting with extraordinary polish and symmetry in a diamond. Such a combination of excellent cut and Hearts & Arrows pattern is guaranteed only by Divine Solitaires in India," said Jignesh Mehta, Managing Director, Divine Solitaires. A true Hearts & Arrows pattern is supposed to be complete, crisp and immediately visible when the diamond is viewed under a Hearts & Arrows viewer. In International market such diamond commands exorbitant premium value. Divine Solitaires offer such pristine solitaires at fairly competitive prices due to its latest in-house manufacturing facilities. —
TNS |
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Let the child be
Parents should allow their kids to climb trees and glue their fingers together because doing such things would eventually help them distinguish between risk and danger, suggests a latest book Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do). The authors Gever Tulley and Julie Spiegler say wrapping children in cotton wool will result in them being unable to tell the difference between things that are genuinely dangerous and those that are simply unfamiliar. "Of course, we must protect children from danger but when that becomes over-protection, we fail as a society because children don't learn how to judge risk for themselves," says Tulley. Are modern parents denying children their share of adventure? We check it out. "No doubt, parents are overprotective these days," says Kiranpreet Kaur, a sociologist from the city. "But if you don't let children take risk, they wouldn't discover anything. You are killing the child's initiative right away," she adds. "The news we hear each day is enough to make me want to raise my girls in complete isolation," says Preetinder Kaur, a designer from Mohali and mother of twins Nayirah and Nehmat, aged three. "No more can we trust maids with kids or ask neighbours to watch them over as they play. Though I understand the need to let kids be free, I would rather supervise them when they play in the park," she adds. "If you don't let kids experiment they do so at the first opportunity when you are not there," says Ajit Gulati, retired chief engineer from Punjab State Electricity Board and grandfather of six-year-old Vani. "So let them experiment even as you keep a watch to ensure their safety," he avers. "We used to be free children. We rode our bicycles, played in the neighborhood or woods all day long and only returned home for meals. And we survived these experiences with minor scratches," says Dr Gaurav Gupta, a pediatrician from the city. "Today parents need to relax a bit when it comes to children," he adds. "Parents are overprotective during the first couple of years. One should let children play in soil and sand for that helps develop better immunity. Also let them play some unstructured games; tennis is not for everyone. Just think of your own childhood and let them do at least half of the stuff we enjoyed," says Gupta. "As parents it seems intuitive that we should protect our children," says Kiranpreet. "Ironically, if we overprotect and over-insulate our children, they miss out on learning opportunities. If denied life experiences, children won't know how to respond to them later," she says. "Let them interact with the environment around and teach them how to take calculated risks," she
suggests. mona@tribunemail.com
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In true colours
Body language experts have revealed how your partner's tattoos can help you read their personality. Judi James, in her new book 'The You Code', said different designs could offer a deep insight into what the person is really like.
"A tattoo is a way of turning your body into an advertising placard with the underlying desire of getting people to believe what they read there, but they actually uncover their inner personality. So you can even use tattoos to weigh up a potential date or your other half," says Judi. Judi explained how men and women could display their true colours in their body art. How to read HIS
tattoos?
Lover's name: Surely it must be love because he's gone and got your name etched on his chest? But beware. It implies that he falls in love big but never seems to learn from his mistakes in life. He's the eternal optimist who always thinks he has found 'The One'. Small and traditional
This is not a daring guy as such but a guy who likes to think he's daring now and again. So though he's likely to surprise you with moments of drama in the bedroom, mostly it's a case of what you see is what you get. A dependable type! Mystical: Two things stand out about this sort of guy: firstly he craves attention, but secondly that he considers himself deep but misunderstood. Far from being mere shapes, the puzzling symbols suggest he wants to be taken seriously and seem mysterious and clever. Kids' names: This guy can be the sort who doesn't like to be upstaged in a relationship. It suggests responsibility and sensitivity, but not necessarily staying power in his adult relationship. Wacky designs: Sign of a man who actually leads a responsible life. Though he seems quite serious at times he is also the kind of lover who is likely to keep you entertained with a secretly naughty sense of humour. Sporty: Club crests and trophies show an immense amount of loyalty. The wearer is likely to be an old-fashioned guy who will probably stick around. A bit of an alpha male who likes to be in charge and is into high status. Jokes: This is a bit like wearing funny ties - trying a bit too hard to have a sense of humour. This fella is actually likely to be a quite a serious person in his relationships. Animals: This is the guy saying: "I may not look like much but I'm actually strong and powerful." Probably wants to be an animal in the bedroom and this may well be the case. TV and movies: This is like a little kid dressing up in his favourite costume and identifying with his favourite superhero. Expect him to be a little boy with a big ego in a relationship How to read HER body art?
Everywhere: Her body contains a mixed bag of tattoos put together with no apparent rhyme nor reason or overall planning. This partner is not the first to want to settle down and is likely to be spontaneous and change her mind with the wind when she's in a relationship. But she is also likely to be an exciting creative lover. Mottos and messages: This woman tends to consider herself on a higher level and can often seem distracted. She is looking for a sense of meaning to her life and can appear to be not quite sure of what she wants in a relationship. She is always in search of the perfect lover, which makes her not the perfect partner. Precious: Only one or possibly two tattoos and they're safe designs like stars or small hearts or flowers. This girl likes to believe she is a rebel and as daring as hell but in reality she can be a bit of an attention-seeking perfectionist and is high-maintenance in a relationship. But she's the ideal girl to take home to the parents. Provocative: These kinds of tattoos draws attention to sexiest parts of body and reveal a high level of self-esteem about how sexy the wearer sees herself. But they can also be combined with things that show that they only go so far, like Cheryl Cole's barbed wire. Blokes' names: This girl could be a complete pain in the neck, falling in love with you utterly and completely - but only until the next guy comes along. Plus, you also need to wonder why she needs to prove her love to a man by defacing her body just for him. This is likely to be a casual 'I love you, OK?' kind of girl, rather than a true romantic. —
ANI
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Bond
wagon
Relationship: Brothers
Time together: 19 years Same-to-same: I hang out a lot with friends and Haripal, being the younger one, usually tags along with me. We love eating out and clubbing on weekends. - Anoop Apart from hanging out with my brother and his friends, teasing Mom is our favourite past time. Recently, her astrology classes gave us a good subject for a lighthearted banter. - Haripal Yet different: Die-hard fan of cricket - Anoop Soccer enthusiast - Haripal Unforgettable moments: For Haripal's admission in University of South Australia, Adelaide, we went together. Apart from managing the admission, boarding and other stuff, we both had a blast together Down Under. Funny takes: Some childhood memories are special. Throwing balloons at 'rikshawallahs' was our favourite activity when we were kids. One day, a rikshawallah came up and complained about it. Thankfully, Mum was away and Dad let us go after a mild scolding. Throwing balloons stopped afterwards, Holi being an exception. Special something: We are crazy about Playstation and can enjoy it throughout the night; at times 90/100 games at a stretch. (Haripal is doing bachelors in commerce from Australia. Anoop is in business now) |
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Believe in yourself
I am 18 and just got a compartment in the Board exam. I am totally broken and have a low self-esteem. I am not able to concentrate on my studies. I don't go anywhere, I don't enjoy anything. Whenever I try to study, my attention starts diverting towards a girl whom I liked so much but I could not get her. I want to have a girlfriend but I can't afford it because I neither have a personality nor I am intelligent. I pray every day, but now I have started losing faith in god. Help me please. Do not allow a small thing like not doing well in exams to affect you so much. Life is all about courage and achieving all that we desire through our positive attitude and hard work. But first, you have to learn to believe in yourself. I think that you accept your own faults shows a lot of inner courage and strength, also your will to improve upon your personality is the first step towards reaching that goal. You are very young and many girls will be fascinating you. But not being able to be friends with her should not rock your self-esteem at all. Just think it is a lesson for you and an incentive to improve your personality. Do not compare yourself to anyone. Please do not lose faith in God. Anger management
I am 26 and have a very serious problem with anger. Without realising when some body pushes a trigger, I completely fly off the handle. I shout and abuse. Later on, when I have let off the steam, I apologise for my
behaviour because I know it is wrong. I am too embarrassed sometimes to want to apologise. I feel the problem comes from my father. I saw him behave like this since I was a kid. I feel it is a genetic problem with me. And, although I seem to understand my problem, I do not have a cure for it. Please help. I do empathise with you. It is great to know that you actually understand your problem and want to get rid of it. One way of doing it would be to go to a counsellor and attend some anger management programme. On the other hand you can also help yourself by going deep down inside your own personality. Introspection is always a great help in dealing with one's own problems. Try to recollect what were the trigger issues with your father and try and relate to them. Just as thoughts can be changed so can self-destructive patterns. Since they have taken a long time to build, they will also take a certain amount of time to heal. Start valuing yourself and forgive your father for being the way he is. Yes there are lots of issues that have a genetic impact but here your influence is more on a personal level. Step out of your pattern through affirmation and love. Break free
I am a 32-year-old-woman trapped in a marriage. I simply do not know how to deal with. My husband is a senior officer and we have two kids but he has a drinking problem. After getting drunk he gets verbally and physically abusive. Sometimes he even hits me in front of the kids. I have been enduring for quite a few years as I am financially dependent on him. Now, I am beginning to worry about my kids growing up in this environment. I try being positive and keeping myself going but sometimes I feel really broken and totally depressed. Please advise. In India so many women tolerate abuse because they feel dependent on the male for basic subsistence. Try to psychologically step out of the world of dependency. First try to balance your own emotional self. Learn to look within and feel anchored there. Only then can you feel adequate enough to deal with outside issues. Send your husband lots of love through mental affirmations but on the other hand please protect your children from witnessing physical abuse. Consult a therapist. Maybe it would be a good idea if you went to live with your parents for a while or where ever you have a strong emotional base. Feeling broken and depressed will certainly not help. Focus on mending his ways and then go for it. God will certainly help you when you muster your own strengths.
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