Life sucks, On a high after the raise, taking a fag break, I’m feeling sleepy, I lost my fav pen, Got a new pair of jeans, Got hammered by boss in the morning, Listening to Bon Jovi, Watching The Hangover, Spilled coffee on my computer, I’m in love-for the seventh time, Got dumped five minutes back, Trying to settle down… Small town girl in big city, I hope life’s not a big joke, coz I don’t get it…’ Phew, if you are Facebooking, then believe when we say that you are busy doing the busiest job in the world. Facebook status message is runs nothing short than the Sensex.

Since Facebook has begun making status messages, photos and videos visible to the public at large by default instead of being visible only to a user’s approved friends, our so-called socialising and sharing antics might not be a safe option anymore. While we update regularly, with all kinds of stuff from ‘Good Luck to Shahid’ to ‘What should I have for my next meal’ to ‘I’m taking a crap’, ex-lovers, bosses, mom and dad, stalkers, creeps and a lot other varieties are taking notice.

“I update my facebook wall every half hour. The least is four-five times a day. Every update gets like 15 comments in five minutes, that means people are noticing and ready to share their views too,” says Manish Dhiman. So, you have updates on your mood swings, your break-ups, your professional life, even your pet, waiting for a response on Facebook. “My status messages are usually about what I am doing or stuff that I found out somewhere, sometimes I take a dig at my friends too. It’s fun way of connecting to people. This way you stay connected to your friends the entire day and involve in group activity,” shares Harpreet Bajwa, a law student from Army Institute of Law, Mohali. Well, some ‘group’ activity that is. Another such frequent group activist is Atul Kamboj, a student from Ryatt College. “If you don’t update frequently then you start to sound stale. It’s important to add freshness to your profile through status messages.” And his frequency almost matches the Sensex. “I update every 10-15 minutes. But sometimes I just keep it blank for a special moment.”

But what about the overexposure through such open and public display of emotions? “There is a contrasting psychology involved when it comes to such online activity. On one hand these people, especially teenagers, don’t want to share their problems, and on other hand they are gladly putting it on Facebook for a public display. It’s a bad way of communication, as it may lead to dangerous consequences,” says Dr Adarsh Kohli, additional professor, psychology, PGI. She advises more intra-personal communication, or one-on-one interaction than these methods. “It’s a risk that people take in the name of sharing and fun. The trust factor is missing online and somebody might be watching your moves though these message updates. You may want attention, and getting it too, the wrong way that is,” she adds.

So, whether it’s whining, boasting, being original or taking out grudges, every move you make online may come with troubles attached. Your confidante may turn out to be your worst nightmare.

nehawalia@tribunemail.com

“Marriage has no guarantees; if that’s what you are looking for, go live with a car battery” — anonymous

One fine moment when somebody enlightened this world with these golden words, the effect expected was not immediate but long term for sure. Now, with all due respect to the sanctity of marriage and the holy matrimonial bliss people often pretend to share, commitment soon gives way to conspiracy. No, not the murderous kind, but you conspire against the reason of you being together, still. And, so when we talk about live-in relationships, often given a second-class treatment, we know that we might have found a cure for a plague called commitment. Not considering the bashing and animated sighs of disgust that live-ins generate, it can be an absolute solution for our matrimonial system to function without any errors. Consider it as a trial and error marriage or a test drive before you actually ride on the shaadi brigade.

Free from the everyday swearing-in ceremony (call it the commitment speech), you can enjoy all the incentives of marital package. Think of the things you can save on— individualism, finances, FREEDOM, emotional atyachaar and not to mention, the wedding and divorce expenses. It’s enjoying each other’s company without having to think about facing a possible death sentence. The advantage also includes experimenting with multiple partners, though marriage too gives you this option in the name of infidelity. Though you don’t get a ready-made family, but you get a ready-made boyfriend who is also playing the role of your husband.

People may talk about how live-ins lack the depth of marriage, the insecurity of losing a relationship. But it does save you from aging and getting obese. Well, some studies say that married people have more chances of gaining weight and aging fast. So, ‘forever young’ and ‘forever mine’ works best in case of live-ins. What say?

Serving a period of live-in should be made a necessary condition, before you decide to plunge into matrimony. Anybody listening? — Neha Walia

Dedicated employees carry over their positive work experiences into their home life, brightening up family interactions, a new study says. Kansas State University (KSU) psychology researchers found that such employees have higher levels of vigour, more dedication and absorption in daily activities, have better moods and more satisfaction at home.

The KSU research group included professor of psychology Clive Fullagar, assistant professor of psychology Satoris Culbertson and graduate student in psychology Maura Mills. “Our research indicated that individuals who... shared those experiences with significant others perceived themselves as better able to deal with issues at home, became better companions and became more effective overall in the home environment,” Culbertson said.

The researchers tracked 67 extension agents for two weeks to determine the relationship between daily work engagement and work-to-family facilitation. The researchers found that both work engagement and work-to-family facilitation vary considerably from day-to-day. “Just because an employee might not be invigorated or dedicated to his or her work on a Monday doesn’t mean he or she won’t be engaged on Tuesday or vice versa,” Culbertson said. “Additionally, one’s work can facilitate things at home to a different extent depending on the day and what has happened on that particular day.”

The researchers, according to a KSU relese, also found that daily work engagement had a positive effect on family life after controlling for workload — heavy or light work hours were not a factor.

However, “work addicts, or workaholics, have been shown to experience higher levels of work-family conflict,” Culbertson said.

These findings were presented at the annual conference for Society for Industrial and Organisational Psychology in New Orleans. — IANS

A higher proportion of women feel that they do not meet their own high standards with family and workplace commitments, say US researchers. According to a study of 288 adults, when it comes to feelings of inadequacy at home and at workplace, ladies suffer more than men.

Authors of the study, which has been published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, claims that such perfectionism can have a negative effect on the work-life balance. The study’s volunteers had to work at least 20 hours a week and have family commitments, reports The BBC.

Study author Dr Jacqueline Mitchelson, assistant professor in psychology at Auburn University in Alabama, said: “None of the research I’ve seen which splits perfectionism into groups has found a gender difference so it was completely unexpected.

“I’m not sure where it comes from, and we need more research.” Professor Cary Cooper, an expert in organisational psychology and health at Lancaster University, said women often felt very guilty when juggling work and home commitments.

“They have what we call the double shift - trying to juggle working and competing at work and then carrying out duties at home with men only helping at the margins. “They then feel guilty that they’re not doing well at work because of home commitments and they’re not doing well at home because of work commitments.” — ANI

Of all the diseases of pets, especially dogs, most easily identifiable but least identified, most easily preventable but least known are the ailments of teeth. An adult dog has 42 teeth and are used for different purposes. From chewing food to defending itself and also as part of intricate sign language of aggression, specially during the breeding season, which decides the peck order. 

Big or small, dog teeth have massive roots which, unlike in human, jut to an appreciable degree out of their gums. For this reason, a decayed tooth cannot be simply pulled out. It requires surgery complete with anesthesia and stitches, a reason, which makes teeth care in them all the more important. Most common signs and symptoms which can help the owner to identify the tooth ailment are, bad breath, reluctance to chew or crying while chewing, increased salivation, red and puffy gums, bleeding gums, tartar coating, missing or loose teeth, any thing else about the mouth of your pet which appears abnormal.

Dogs do not normally get cavities but are prone to developing a brown substance called calculus around their gums. Calculus-laden with bacteria can cause the canine gums to recede, exposing roots and loosening teeth in their sockets. These bacteria can also affect heart and kidneys of your pet if not checked. A plethora of complications, isn’t it? But all this can be checked by some thing as simple as brushing the teeth of your dog at least twice in a week.

Here are some important tips — Never brush your dog’s teeth with human toothpaste, it can make your dog sick! Use special enzymatic toothpaste made especially for dogs. The same goes for oral rinses. Use a “finger brush” or special long toothbrush designed for use on dogs. When starting out with brushings, the finger brush can help ease your dog into it, as these do not feel as awkward as hard brushes. Before you begin, ask your veterinarian to show you some techniques to make tooth brushing easier on you and your dog. Because dogs can’t rinse and spit after a brushing, the paste must be safe for pets to swallow. Some human toothpastes contain detergents which can irritate pets’ stomach, and, in addition, large quantities of ingested fluoride can harm pets. Most dog  kits contain a toothbrush and toothpaste, sold together. If using a human toothbrush, pick a soft, nylon bristle and for a smaller dog, child-sized brush. Finger brushes can be purchased as well. These fit on a fingertip and allow owners easier access to the mouth. Electric toothbrushes can be used if dogs can tolerate the mechanical noise.

The act of brushing: Let the dog taste the toothpaste before attempting to brush his teeth. Allow him to lick the toothpaste off your brush. When he has tasted the toothpaste, reapply paste to the brush and start brushing in a circular motion. It is important to keep your dog calm and relaxed by praising him and stroking his neck area. When your dog is relaxed, pull back his lips and cheeks to gain access to the premolars and molars. So guys, happy brushing till we meet next on another topic.

hemant1955@yahoo.co.in

National award-winning actor Sharmila Tagore, who has carved a niche for herself in Indian cinema, feels that regional films deserve a better viewership and should be given a boost through good promotion and marketing.

"Regional films need to be pushed forward. With the multiplexes coming up in a big way, they can reach a bigger audience. All regional films should be backed by good marketing, especially Marathi films, which have to compete with Hindi films," said Sharmila.

The actor was in the capital to promote her upcoming Marathi film Samaantar directed by Amol Palekar, which is going to be released with English subtitles for non-Marathi viewers in major cities of India.

The 62-year-old actor has done some remarkable Bengali films in her lifetime, like Satyajit Ray's Apur Sansar and Devi.

Sharmila believes that though regional films vary from state to state, they have some features in common.

"India is so diverse, yet there are certain things common when it comes to cinema. Be it Bengali or Marathi, films do have common sensibilities. The way audience react in a cinema house is the same everywhere," said the actor.

Samaantar is Sharmila's first Marathi film and the national award-winning actress had to face some problems with the language. "I was nervous about the language before shooting for the film. Marathi language has a rich literature and a discerning audience, and I was apprehensive about exposing myself to criticism," she said.

Palekar, who is returning to acting after a long time, feels that Bollywood is not the end of Indian cinema, and regional films present the true picture of India. "Good regional cinema can be more binding, as there is a lot of experimentation happening on that front. Bollywood films are not the end of Indian cinema," the veteran actor said. — PTI

The range, Shilpa's Gourmet Creations, will offer low-fat chutneys, pickles and spices, the actor said yesterday.

Shilpa, who lives in Surrey with her fiancé, entrepreneur Raj Kundra, has acquired a 33 per cent stake in the V8 Gourmet Group, which will launch the readymade food range.

The range, which Shilpa will develop along with master chef Andy Verma, will hit UK markets next year.

"Product development will take about six to eight months," Verma said.

Among others, the range will also offer lamb, fish, chicken and vegetable dishes. The spice range will be organic.

Replying to questions, Shilpa, who appeared on Celebrity Big Brother in 2007 and was at the centre of a race row, said reality shows have been "overdone".

Shilpa is also set to launch her own healthy Indian food range as a tribute to late Jade Goody, according to reports. The 34-year-old actor is to pay tribute to her Big Brother co-participant by launching her own brand of poppadoms.

Jade was accused of being racist after she called the star "Shilpa Poppa-dom".

Shilpa's chicken curry, which divided the house with accusations of under-cooked meat and excessive use of onions, is also expected to be included in the menu.

"Shilpa thinks Jade will have a little chuckle in heaven about the poppadoms," a source as said.

"She has been inundated with requests for her curry recipe and one day she just thought, 'Why don't I just create my own range?' "One of Shilpa's passions in life is healthy living so she wanted to incorporate that into her dishes," the source added. — PTI, ANI

She earned rave reviews for her performance as a blind and deaf girl in the critically acclaimed Black, but 14-year-old Ayesha Kapoor says she wasn't able to relate to her character of a conservative Kashmiri girl in her latest film Sikandar.

"It was hard for me to relate to my character in the film since I'm a completely different in real life. Nasreen, my character, is conservative. That's the opposite of me," Ayesha said.

"From a very young age, I have lived in an international community. My friends are from all over the world. I get to meet people from different cultures. That's made me quite modern. Also, I am half German, so my thinking is very different," she added.

Directed by Piyush Jha, Sikandar released Friday and has got mixed reviews. In the film, Ayesha plays protagonist Parzaan Dastur's best friend Nasreen.

Ayesha says another problem was that she isn't fluent in Hindi and had to really work on her dialogues. She had to do quite a lot of preparations to make her character look real in the movie, which also stars R. Madhavan and Sanjay Suri.

"We did quite a few preparations for me to get the hang of my character. I attended a workshop in Delhi. That time for me it was mainly working on the lines and also understanding how a Kashmiri school girl would walk and talk and how she wears her dupatta...all those nitty-gritties," the young actress explained.

"Also to understand things better, I went to Kashmir a week earlier than the shooting schedule. I visited the schools there and interacted with school girls to understand things," she added.

The film revolves around teenage boy Sikandar Raza (Parzan), who dreams of playing football at the national level, but his life changes when he finds a gun lying on the road. Despite warnings from Nasreen, he picks up the gun and his life is never the same again - he enters into the darker side of his nature.

So, would Ayesha like to pursue acting as a full-fledged career later in life?

"Acting is a passion for me. I love to be in front of the camera. I really hope in the future I can continue acting and get good opportunities," Ayesha said.

Asked how she got interested in acting at such a young age, Ayesha said it came to her naturally.

"Acting has come naturally to me. I never did any acting classes. I never even tried to get into movies. Everything just happened. I feel...something when it's meant to be, it will just happen, that's how I believe films and me happened," she said.

"It's so strange that I literally lived in the middle of the jungle, in the south of India. Nobody had heard of me before in any way. Then Sanjay Leela Bhansali just came across a picture of mine and somehow he liked me and then called me up. I went to Mumbai and had a small audition. I was on (for Black) and it changed so much for me. It was destiny," Ayesha added. — IANS

Energetic openings to Bollywood's four recent releases, New York, Kambakkht Ishq, Love Aaj Kal and Kaminey, have succeeded in getting the business perk up. Wounded by a long strike earlier this year, the film industry is perhaps on a self-healing path now, say trade pundits.

The two-month-long standoff between the producers-distributors and multiplex owners over revenue sharing, which was resolved June 5, led to a whopping Rs 300 crore loss to the Hindi film industry.

The dry spell was broken by Kabir Khan's New York that released June 26 followed by the other three films -- Kambakkht Ishq that came July 3, Love Aaj Kal July 31 and Kaminey Aug 14 -- raking in a net profit close to almost half the losses so far this year.

"These four films will do a net business of Rs150 crore (Rs.1.5 billion) put together," revealed an industry insider.

Said trade analyst Taran Adarsh, "The industry is definitely on a recovery path... it is getting better now, but we do need a big number of hits to follow as even an A-list movie like Luck bombed.

"Every movie has a luck of its own. For example, a small-budget film like A Wednesday had a moderate release last year but proved to be a dark horse. At the end of the day it's the content that will win."

Film critic Omar Qureshi had something similar to say.

"The industry is healing. Everyone was deprived of movies. There was a desperation to watch films and the audience couldn't handle it. So, they took multiplexes by storm once good movies hit the screens and the result is worth watching," said Qureshi.

"But that doesn't mean mediocre movies will win the race too... it'll only take big-budget and big-banner movies with a good story to make up for the losses and bring in footfalls," he added.

The standoff between producers-distributors and multiplex owners started in February over revenue sharing. While the producers demanded a flat 50 per cent share of all film revenues irrespective of the stars, budget and box-office collection, the exhibitors stressed on sharing profits based on the movie's earnings.

As a result the producers declared a strike from April 4 onwards, which saw no big Bollywood releases in multiplexes across the country.

Now all eyes are set on an array of big releases after the lull.

The line-up includes Shahid Kapoor-Rani Mukerji starrer Dil Bole Hadippa, three movies of Salman Khan -- Wanted, Main Aur Mrs Khanna and London Dreams-- two Ranbir Kapoor-starrers Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani and Rocket Singh - Salesman of The Year, and Aamir Khan's 3 Idiots.

Apart from these, there are also Hrithik Roshan's much-talked-about action thriller Kites, Priyanka Chopra's What's Your Raashee and two movies starring Amitabh Bachchan -- Aladdin and Pa -- Akshay Kumar's De Dana Dan, Govinda's Hook Ya Crook and Neil Nitin Mukesh's Jail. — IANS