I'm  A STAR
Purva Grover

Entering the world of art, literature or fashion in the city is easier than you thought. It is staying there that is tough, but then, who cares? 

Scene 1: He is twenty something. From school, you remember him as the backbencher who never got more than a C + in his exams. At times you even helped him with his spellings. Today, he is the author of five books.

Scene 2: She was not even allowed to sit for the audition for the college’s music choir or sing while playing antakshari. Today, she has recorded four audio and three video albums.

Scene 3: He is five-feet something with average looks, and not-so-average physique. You can’t recall if any girl on the campus ever accepted a rose bud from him. Today, his modelling portfolio includes a handful print, TV and ramp assignments.

Is all this making you feel small, envious, unlucky? If no, then we are glad that you recognise and value quality. And if yes, then read on to figure out how petty and short-lived their fame is. We track down how some of the city’s new celeb brigade who hardly worked and in turn were hardly noticed made it ‘big’. Writers, models or singers, here’s the way to achieve blink and miss success.

Writer without aptitude

Wish to be: An author/ writer/ poet

You’ll need: Worthless poems or pointless fiction.

Budget: A 200-page book, 1,000 copies = Rs 20,000 -1.5 lakh,

Typing cost: Rs 15 in Punjabi/Hindi, Rs 5 in English (per page), Proof reading: Rs 5,000-50,000.

Process: Two options. First: Got bucks? Self publish. Two: Track down a publisher who is as desperate to publish, as you are to see your name in print.

Etc: Acquaintances in the literary circle, friends with a publisher etc help.

You get: No royalty. A pile of your very own books. Gift them, sell them as raddi, re-read them, but don’t expect any sensible reader to buy them.

City figures: On an average each publishing house gets manuscripts from 100 wanna-be writers each month and publishes around 400 titles a year.

Why is it happening: A publishing house in each corner of the city. Self-made writers who proclaim they know it all, be it the font size, paper quality, essence of a good book and even the correct spellings of the recipients of the Bookers Prize.

Singer without sargam

Wish to be: A singer

You’ll need: Lots of moolaah, group of enthusiastic dancer friends, mindless lyrics and melody.

Budget: One audio song = Rs 800-1000, one video track = Rs 1-2 lakh.

HDV 170/100 or Beta camera: Rs 2,000-3,000, Crane: Rs 500, Light men: Rs 500 (per day)

Process: Approach a music company with your budget. They will record, distribute and promote.

Etc: Get hold of a model who agrees to pay you to let him be a part of the album.

You get: Stardom that will last maximum for a week or fortnight.

City figures: Over 30 video albums released per month. Mostly NRIs and people who are fine even with selling their ancestral land to become a singer.

Why is it happening: Mushrooming of music companies (30 at present), directors who have no work, no money, and no talent. A bunch of youngsters with amassed wealth to sponsor their self-created glory.

Model without personality

Wish to be: A model. print/ TV/ ramp

You’ll need: A life-saving cosmetic kit, pair of high heels, a pair of glares, a stud in one ear, and yes a command over English, just good enough to say a Good Evening and Thank You.

Budget: Anywhere between Rs 10,000-20,000 to pay the party who have gracefully agreed to give you a break.

Process: Forget a gym, a parlour or personality development class. Be a permanent fixture at parties, advertising agencies, upcoming business ventures, coffee shops and modelling agencies. And wait for the big chance and yes never ever be seen without sunglasses, even at midnight (Keep your ATM or cash ready all the time)

Etc: A title. Any one would help, from a Miss/Mr Sector 32 to the Cutest Baby when you were in KG.

You get: Free passes to some of the city’s parties or a label of a socialite.

City figures: Over 30-40 boys/ girls queue up at the offices of modelling agencies/grooming gurus each month.

Why is it happening: Small business houses with still smaller budgets for ad campaigns, local designers who would let anybody sport their designs on the ramp, singers who wish to add the glam quotient to their album with models. And, the youth who think that being a model is the in-thing.

purva@tribunemail.com

15 minute Hall of Fame
Purva Grover

 Switch on the TV & explore your chances to be famous

Each time I sit in front of the idiot box for my daily dose of entertainment, I find myself lost, baffled and wondering. Nope, I have not started watching the K soaps. Instead, I find myself caught in the web of channels creating or rather churning out celebrities each month, each week and sometimes even each episode.

Right from my help at home, my colleague and the aunt in neighbourhood to her five-year-old kid, all are busy signing autographs and talking endlessly about their feat. And here I am, munching on popcorns and flipping channels, figuring out their claim to fame. Is it because they were obese, had high BP and cholesterol levels? Or because they didn’t even know that re came before sa in the sargam? Or nobody having briefed them on how to behave when in public? Or simply as they had enough money, time and patience to SMS?

A few weeks back, we saw the grand finale of Biggest Loser Jeetaga. A rigorous exercise regime for 16 weeks on national television was required to teach the lesson of fitness to a bunch of obese adults. Today, the participants are fitter, richer and popular. At the same time, they have proved that they were ignorant of the health hazards till Suneil Shetty informed them. Also, they think shedding kilos on national TV is glam. Well, the winner who weighed close to 124.9 kg has lost 50.7 kg and gained Rs 50.7lakh, after fighting against calories and competition.

Well, but we can’t really blame this handful for their greed for fame (or fitness). For, a few months back, we saw long-forgotten actors and models on Bigg Boss, acting, crying, sweeping, cleaning, dancing, fighting, massaging et al, all for their share of fame, that they had failed to achieve in years (or decades). Now, these guys became (in) famous and made money too. But then, they would have perhaps gained more respect, had they stayed hidden wherever they were, than making fools out of themselves in the Bigg Boss mansion.

Back to the ordinary man’s need for fame. Now, if there is practically nothing you are good at, worry not. Say if you have no clue of sur and taal and you sing only to please your senses (which too, don’t really understand music), then you can sing on Filmy’s Bathroom Singers. Okie, now for the next one, all you need is a mobile, a lot of money to waste and the courage to sit through the drama of wailing women and revengeful men. Vote for your favourite bhai, bhabhi, saas, devar...(ugh!) and get a chance to share the stage with the parivaar. A lot many of your acquaintances will treat you as a star after you have brushed shoulders with our very own, Parvati bhabi, oh my God! Or how about just doing something eccentric (forget self respect) on the so-called serious talent shows and get famous.

Well, this is not the end of the list for fresh choices pop out each day. And who told you it is only the talented and hardworking who have a right to popularity? So, go ahead acquire the status of a celeb.

 Bust that office stress
Aman Minhas

We splash a few stress-busters for those inflicted with sticky situations at office

Hate Monday mornings? Inability to wake up or lack of rest over the weekend is your excuse? Look deep within. Are you sure these are the actual reasons for your shirking office? Or is it something or someone, who bothers you to the extent that you are secretly conspiring to kill him? Sticky situations at work can have their toll on you. And if ignoring, wearing a plastic smile and letting-go seem impossible, read on.

Workload

Constantly feel overworked and pray a day had 48 hours instead of 24? “The best thing to do is prioritise your work, and work downwards,” says Simi Waraich, consultant neuro-psychiatrist, Fortis. Organise your desk, so no time is lost looking for pens, files or phone numbers. In-between long working hours, take a break and rejuvenate. Keep things you like around you, put a family or vacation pic, relive memories or hang a spiritual read, adds Simi. Adds psychologist Rajshree Sarda, “One must exercise a bit after long working hours, as the perspiration secretes hormones called endorphins that bring euphoria.”

Difficult client

Communicating policies and thoughts can get difficult with people who refuse to understand your side. Take a deep breath, calm down. Focus on a larger goal. As Rajshree explains, “Be assertive not aggressive.” Understand their mind. Maybe, you both are misinterpreting each other.”

Difficult boss

Have an overbearing, abusive or pressurising boss who is still hung on your last mistake? Rajshree guides, “Use tact. Know the work dynamics and work smart.” Communicate your strong points to your seniors in a subtle way, says Simi, adding, “Make a mental list of your boss’s likes and dislikes and work accordingly.”

Team problems

It is humanly impossible to get along with everyone. Life is full of backbiters, gossipmongers or co-workers with nagging habits, “Steer clear of menace makers. If a habit of a co-worker disturbs you, ask your boss to intervene, but with care,” says Rajshree. Simi points out, these problems occur due to a low self-esteem. Never compare yourself with others. Focus on your strengths and understand that no one is perfect.

A stolen idea

Do not hit the panic button if a co-worker, with all the mirch masala, presents your idea. Cheated as you feel, wait for the right time to take action. “Confront only when you know people better. Talk to your superior later and explain the situation”, advises Rajshree.

Crush on co-worker

Feel the rush when your love interest is around? Do not know how to react? Or did react and got turned down? Rajshree explains attractions are natural at work place, but one must learn to handle them sensibly. A rumor could jeopardise your career. Simi says, talk to close friends and get it out of your system. Define a six month or one year goal and work towards achieving it.

Working hard and staying focused is one aspect of achieving success. Letting-go petty issues and leading a happy family life is another aspect. Don’t be critical about yourself, praise yourself, go out with friends, confide your worries in your families, play with kids, meditate, and enjoy life. There’s a lot to keep you happy. One just needs to look around.

lifestyletribune@gmail.com 

The story of a bud & two leaves 
Parbina Rashid

The tea planters from city who served in the Wild East for long years, bring back a slice of Assam to their homes

The tick-tock of an old pendulum clock, a 1930-model from Anglo-Swiss Watch Co, reminds them of the great time they had in tea gardens in Assam. The awe-inspiring chang-bungalows with acres of green area for a garden, is a thing of the past. So are the bevy of servants and the lush green sub-tropical forests.

After spending their productive years in the wilderness, they are back in the city adjusting to its squares and blocks. But most of them still yearn to be part of the primitiveness. You do not have to be a shrink to pick up the signs of their longing. Their living quarters and the garden bear enough testimony that they are still living in the past.

Tim and Bubble Sodhi spent about 30 years in various tea gardens and companies in Assam. The tea life had seeped into them so badly that they still call themselves a misfit for the city life. “I loved the wilderness and the feeling of brotherhood that comes from working in a tea garden and l the status of the Mai-Baap among the tea people that a managerial post brings,” says Tim.

Photos by Manoj Mahajan & Malkiat Singh

It was a life of working hard and then playing hard and partying hard. “Us tea workers are a little too fond of liquor and you can see it almost in all our rooms have a little bar,” says Tim as he gives us a guided tour of his Sector 27 house, we come across this unique looking bar in his drawing room. A huge barrel standing horizontally on a stand.” This one was made of a huge champa tree while I was working in a tea garden near Tejpur. Complementing the barrel, there is a cane corner and couple of cane chairs. And as we are led to the garden, we get to see an assortment of trees, typical to that area, in bonsai form.

And what did Bubble do to kill those long lonely hours when her husband was busy sorting out problems in the garden and the factory? “We used to have an active club life and did lot of flower arrangement and embroidery etc. to keep ourselves occupied,” says Bubble. She is proud to show her embroidered frames that now hang on her bedroom walls.

Jeepers creepers: A bar and coffee table (right) made from dried creepers are Ashima Dutt’s pride and joy

Another couple, who has just joined the retired tea planters brigade here is Vimal Dutt and Ashima Dutt. Their three-bedroom flat at Manimajra, is not just about unique furniture made of wood-like creepers around trees, which is locally known as bandha, but also an example of how to do up a small place elegantly. A huge bar and a four-seater low-lying table and chairs are certainly the eye catcher. “One usually comes across such creepers which grows around trees and fit for making chairs or mudas.. But this one grew around a big concrete wall. I got it removed and used to ornate my bar, which is again curved out of a tree Hollok tree,” he says.

Ashima, like so many tea planters’ wives, took up painting and captured the nature in her brush strokes, which now adorns her living room. And of course, like others, they too miss the vast expanse of greenery and the jet-setting life they led there. “We feel quite lonely as we have not made many friends here in this city,” says Vimal and Ashima.

But this problem has been mitigated to certain extent when a few-like minded tea planters decided to join hands and come up with this Tea Planters’ Welfare Association in 1990. There are as many as 150 families are in city alone, who had either served or serving in tea gardens in Assam and Darjeeling, but the association has only about 75 families as active members. It has come up with a members’ directory to ‘keep them close and together’ and they meet at least once a month to reminisce the good old days.

After all, as the saying goes—you can take a person out of Assam but you can never take Assam out of him! 

write to Renee
 at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or C/o Lifestyle, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chandigarh

•  I am a 16-year-old girl, in a relationship for the past one and a half year. However, during this time, I met another guy. Both of us were friends to begin with, but started liking each other after some time. Because of this new attraction, I broke up with my boyfriend but it’s impossible for me to live without him. I broke my boyfriend’s trust and he doesn’t behave with me like he used to. I can’t live without him. Help!

 What’s your Bollywood quotient?

In a nation, where there is no icon bigger than Shah Rukh Khan, no success story bigger than Sholay and no persona bigger than Big B, it is indeed a good idea to turn the passion for Bollywood into a competition. Filmy has announced the first ever film-based quiz, Bollywood Ka Boss to test your filmy gyaan. In a country crazy about films, the quiz show aims to pitch the best of the best against each other, who will compete for the coveted crown of Bollywood Ka Boss and a grand prize of Rs 50 lakhs.

First Day First Show
Simple & bold
Rajiv Kaplish

 Nanhe Jaisalmer
WATCHABLE

A kid’s yearning for a rendezvous with his idol. A little boy in sandy Jaisalmer fantasising about a Bollywood actor. Nanhe (Dwij Yadav), a boy guiding tourists through golden sand stretching out to eternity, speaking four languages and refusing to go to school has only one dream — to meet his ‘best friend’ Bobby Deol. His small room is full of colourful posters of Deol. He makes his sister write a letter to his ‘friend’ every day and watches all his movies in makeshift theatres. In between, he has kiddy duels with fellow guides. Finally, his dream comes true.

Dwij Yadav, not Bobby Deol, is the hero of Samir Karnik’s film. Like Chak De and Dhamaal, Nanhe... has no heroine. Yadav’s simplicity is heart warming. He betrays no signs of facing the camera for the first time. It is a bold attempt of Bobby Deol to play second fiddle to a child actor in a film bereft of mushy love and melodrama.

Where director Karnik falters is too much emphasis on literacy classes and messages, which threaten to turn the film into a documentary on education sponsored by the Human Resource Development Ministry. Again, some shots appear to be blatantly promoting tourism in Rajasthan.

For the rest, it is a riveting tale revolving around a child’s world of fantasy.

Showing at: Fun Republic

Betrayal of the worst kind  
Aggar
avoidable

He is a psychopath. She is on psychedelics. Someone else is a psychiatrist. Psychobabble, you may wonder. No, it’s helmsman Anant Mahadevan’s gamble, Aggar, which does not pay. How can it when a shrink, Dr Adi Merchant (Shreyas Talpade), takes it upon himself to cure a psychotic, Aryan (Tussar Kapoor) and brings him out of the mental asylum? Looking for work, Aryan unknowingly joins the company being run by Dr Merchant’s wife, Janvi (Udita Goswami). The two are impulsively drawn to each other and have a torrid affair. But soon the married woman realises that it is a dangerous liaison and desperately tries to break it. But she does not know she will have to pay a heavy price for it.

The blurbs claim it to be a story of ‘passion, betrayal and terror’. They couldn’t be more correct. Midway through the three-hour ordeal, we are transformed into a community of sufferers whose only passion is to beat Mahadevan black and blue for almost repeating the story of his earlier film, Aksar, and dishing it out as a psychological thriller. We do feel betrayed when we watch Udita going trance-like through the motions of acting. The only time she comes out of the stupor is when she serenades the hero in the swimming pool in an itsy-bitsy bikini.

Menancing Talpade and his deadly pursuits are certainly a terror for us and finding there is no place to save ourselves, we head for the exit.

Showing at: Fun Republic

Well Connected
Parbina Rashid

The city artscape gets hotter as five veteran artists come together to showcase their creations

Shiv Singh’s Life

When an invitation from Creativity Connect Foundation reached us, for an exhibition of five contemporary artists of the city, we knew things could not get hotter than this. The list of artists read — Shiv Singh, Malkit Singh, Brahm Prakash, Viren Tanwar and Madan Lal. An exhibition like this happens only once in a blue moon. And we, art lovers, had to wait for five long years to see these four who’s who of the art circle showcasing their creations under the same roof (Madan Lal replaces Diwan Manna this time). The roof once again is the Alliance Francaise Art Gallery-36.

As expected, the gallery was lit up with their presence and creations — contrasting yet complementing each other’s works. We start with Shiv Singh, the senior-most of them all. With 55 one-man shows in India and abroad and scores of prestigious awards our ‘Man in Black’ gives us an insight into life through his five colourful frames that make biology come alive in the most amazing manner.

Malkit Singh’s Goat series

“All forms of life start from a particular point which we refer to as seeds,” he explains, but his words become redundant as each frame, in bright and vibrant water colour and acrylic dyes, speaks on its own, showing the seed germinating into form. His paintings are full of rhythm and raw energy.

Next to his creations lie Malkiat Singh’s four frames, capturing the nostalgia of childhood in his native village. Once again bright and vibrant, with a liberal amount of brown thrown in. “Brown is my favourite colour as it reminds me of my pind di mitti,” he shares his romanticism. In his frames we get to see an innocent looking girl feeding an even more innocent looking goat and a few forgotten trees and fruits. His trees come in layers of acrylic and oil with a fine textured effect and his goat is sometimes a little distorted. But they all come with a dreamy touch.

Brahm Prakash’s Space and Form

Brahm Prakash continues to explore his space in his trademark subtle way with forms thrown in here and there, but here we also get to see his new-found fascination for acrylic and brighter colours. His three huge frames in wash-painting technique bear his signature style — multiple players and squares (a Corbusier influence, he says) and a depth, which is delicately balanced by a lines here and a curve there.

This exhibition presents Viren Tanwar in a new avatar — bold and ‘back to the basic’. If his nude men sometimes cry out aloud that ‘It’s not a man’s world’ then in other frames they show the sensitivity of a woman trapped in a masculine body. But what the artist has tried to convey through his nude forms, blooms and animal bodies that come with a strong sexual connotation, is that no man is complete without a woman to complement his persona. Viren has executed his theme with bold and flat colour in oil and acrylic.

The youngest member of the group, Madan Lal’s ‘Journey of Life’ continues with all its complexities amidst which the artist has tried to bring out the sensitivity of people. Executed again in wash painting technique, his acrylic frames show intriguing symbols flexible bodies and a surreal setting.

Beautifully frames and aesthetically displayed, this exhibition is an eye opener as to what good art is all about, albeit possessing any of these frame would be an expensive affair as the price tag starts somewhere from Rs 60,000 and goes up to a couple of lakhs.

On till September 22

parbina@tribunemail.com

 Exhi-watch
Magic of lappa
Saurabh Malik

The Men in Blue may have bowled Pakistanis out in the twenty-twenty world cup match Friday night, but it’s not easy to beat them when it comes to suits. The timeless charm of the intricate work, the crisp yet supple fabric, and the soft hues, all make Pakistani suits a definite must-have in your wardrobe. On display at Aroma-22 is Pakistani collection by designer Preeti Singal. Says the designer-cum-exhibition organiser, “The collection bears the stamp of a stylist born, brought up and fashion-trained across the border. These suits are truly Pakistani, and not just with their work.”

No wonder, thereis abundance of original Pakistani lappa work. There are suits with glittery lappa, sitara and mirror work. Up for grabs is a charming combo of bandhani and lappa. You can also pick up stuff with block painting and cotton suits. The fine-line is not very expensive either. A salwar with lappa work comes for Rs 650 and the rest of the range is priced between Rs 1,200 and Rs 4,000. The saris, not essentially Pakistani come with a price tag of Rs 4,500.

Concludes today

 Simply good
Smriti Sharma

Theatreperson Rohitashv Gour now hopes to play meaningful roles in tinsel town 

You could miss him for his simple and ordinary looks, but not for his skills as an actor. A theatre artiste to the core, Rohitashv Gour has caught everybody’s attention with his myriad performances on stage, in films, tele-soaps and commercials. And, behind his versatility is the rock-solid grooming at the National School of Drama (NSD).

He began his career in theatre and worked with artistes like Seema Biswas, Shubha Khote and Viju Khote. After a five-year stint with NSD, he moved to television and says it was a well-thought transition. “There are no takers for Hindi theatre. Also, the roots aren’t strong enough and then actors are not paid very well,” he says.

A handful commercials like Cadbury’s Miss Palampur and Castrol followed soon, and so did roles in tellydom. He played a diligent son in DD’s Ved Vyas Ke Pote in late 90’s, enacted as Chatrpati Shivrai and off late is playing an old father in Mohalla Mohabbat Wala on Sab and a Sikh character in Ek Chabi Hai Pados Mein on Star Plus. Also, to his credit are unforgettable performances in Munnabhai and its sequel, Matrabhumi and Pinjar.

Settled in Mumbai, he has his eyes now on meaningful roles in Bollywood. “ I know I don’t have all that it takes to be a hero in Hindi films. Cinema is becoming more meaningful now and I want to do character roles like the veteran Om Puri,” he says.

As of now, his kitty is full. He plays a corrupt customs officer in Anurag Kashayap’s Aamir, a terrorist in Neeraj Pandey’s Wednesday and another role in Kumar Mangat’s 123. A busy actor today, he never forgets his date with the drama festival in Shimla. The annual festival is being organised for past 50 years by his father Sudershan Gour.

smritisharma@tribunemail.com

 Tattoos no more

Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie has vowed never to have beau Brad Pitt’s tattoo on her body. The Tomb Raider star has promised never to have her body tattooed again with another man’s name. Jolie revealed that she had decided to do so because she had splurged thousands of dollars to get an etching of former husband Billy Bob Thornton removed. And therefore, the 32-year-old actress has told hubby Pitt not to expect her to do the same for him. Jolie, whose tattoos became the subject of media attention, still has a wopping 14 tattoos on various parts of her body. — ANI

 Matka chowk 
Hair Raising 
Sreedhara Bhasin

Chandigarh, true to its class, has some very posh hair saloons. You are supposed to go into them feeling like a moth and emerge like a butterfly. However, my recent experience in one of these – made me feel like a specimen in a biology lab – being tested for classification and labelling.

HEALTH TIP OF THE DAY 

To relax the mandibular (face) muscles and eliminate clenching, one should keep the tongue on the roof of the mouth where it ends up when one says the letter “N” or the word “Boston”.