Are you a problem parent?

APROPOS of Kuldip Dhiman’s article "Are you a problem parent?" (September 5), the behaviour of a child depends on his upbringing. The parent-child relationship becomes significant when the child comes into contact with other persons.

Many parents tell their children to be honest and sincere, while they themselves thrive on corruption. In order to help the moral development of children, we often recommend standards that are higher than the ones we live by. Young perceptive children see this as an act of hypocricy.

The way people discipline their children also has an impact on their behaviour. Children with parents who set fair rules and give logical reasons for these rules are more self-confident and have better social skills. Parents should neither be permissive nor authoritarian in their attitude.

If we are serious about solving our children’s problems we should examine our own behaviour towards them. Otherwise problems are bound to persist.

P.L. SETHI
Patiala

II

Parents must change their attitude towards their children and build a meaningful relationship with them. They should shed their image of being disciplinarians.

Parenting in modern times has become more complex than in earlier times as a result of a change of approach and the advent of cut-throat competition. Materialism has multiplied the risks of a child going astray. Parents cannot and should not set norms for the child to follow. The child needs to be exposed to social values, morals and opinions to be able to draw his own conclusions and live up to his own moral code.

VED GULIANI
Hisar

III

Parents must bear in mind the words of Oscar Wilde: "Children begin by loving their parents, as they grow older they judge them, sometimes they forgive them". An ideal family shares some time together every day, preferably at the dining table. This strengthens the feeling of "oneness" in the family. Parents must inspire love and admiration in their children by their conduct and behaviour.

The middle path is always the best course in every sphere of life. The parents must neither pamper their children, nor be unduly harsh to them.

S.K. SHARMA
Lucknow

IV

As and when the two-way communication breaks down, the bond weakens. While parents should realise that grooming the children is an art they must master, the children too should not adopt a rebellious attitude towards their parents.

John Obedzinski’s said about the parent-child relationship: "A happy family is not a democracy in which everyone has an equal vote, or where kids operate with total freedom. Parents wield a benign authority, listening to their children’s ideas and taking account of their feelings, but reserving the right to make the final decision. Moreover, kids feel comfortable knowing who’s in-charge".

ONKAR CHOPRA
Ludhiana

Game of the name

I.M. Soni’s write-up "The game of the name is still the same" (August 29) was interesting. The Turkish word Babur means lion. Babur, the founder of the Mugal Empire in India was brave like a lion. The Persian word Humayun means fortunate. But Babur’s son and successor, Humayun, was an unlucky king.

Some persons are named after beautiful trees (Shamshad Begum), flowers (Gulab Singh), heavenly bodies (Tara Chand), etc. Many years ago, a man in Gurgaon district named his son Bulganin Singh to keep in memory the visit of a Russian leader, Bulganin to that area.

Many poets mention their pseudonyms only. Very few people know the actual names of Josh Malihabadi (Shabbir Hasan Khan), Jagir Moradabadi (Ali Sikandar). Firaq Gorakhpuri (Raghupati Sahai), Majrooh Sultanpuri (Israr Hasan Khan) and Sahir Ludhianvi (Abdul Ha’i).

Ghalib prided himself on the uniqueness of his name and non de plume. Once a letter written by him to his pupil Meer Mahdi (Majrooh) was delivered to his namesake. When this fact to brought to his notice, the peerless poet observed in another letter: "It is your fault. Why you live in a city where another Meer Mahdi resides? I have been living in Delhi since long. Yet there is no other man having my name (Asadullah Beg Khan) alias (Mirza Naushah) and pseudonym (Ghalib)".

BHAGWAN SINGH
Qadian

Castles, Canals, Copenhagen

In his write up "Castles, Canals, Copenhagen"(Aug 22), Vinay Kumar Malhotra has drawn a beautiful picture of a beautiful country known to the world as Denmark. The country is known for its sylvan surroundings. In the fields of environment preservation, Denmark is a pioneer country.

Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark is among the most popular, beautiful, well planned and cleanest capital cities of the world. Copenhagen was once a fishing village, until 1167, when the bishop of Roskilde built the castle on the site of the present Christians-borg Palace, a prominent landmark in the city. It become Denmark’s capital in 1443.

It was under German occupation from April 1940 to May 1945. The city’s university was founded in 1479. There are many palaces, castles, museums, churches and beaches in and around Copenhagen.

Denmark is a treat for a tourist.

VIJAY SHEEL JAIN
Ludhiana.