How to keep the fire burning
By I.M. Soni

GOOD news for those whose matrimonial boat is often rocked by stormy waters. Or the ones from whose marriage romance is paling or waning.

Malaysian State has announced that it will conduct "special lessons" for husbands on how to be romantic towards their wives. This is in a bid to slash rising divorce rates as, of course, to add rainbows of romance to marriage.

The programme "romance your wife" is aimed at a laudable objective, producing "healthy families." The lessons, which involve a series of workshops and lectures on the "techniques of love and romance," are meant to curb the amoral activities of "straying husbands."

Spouses are two different human beings who have to be one on the emotional, mental, physical and psychological wavelength to be happy. This oneness is attained through closeness.

If the couple go through marital life "hand-in-hand," they have a deeper understanding. Vibrations travel from one soul to the other. Unity of oneness is attained which culminates into non-friction. Smiles spill. Spouses cannot smile and scowl at the same time. Those who are constantly scowling may try for themselves and find the results.

The couple should remain on the same emotional plateau. This is achieved by facing each other, holding hands softly.

Magic of mind works because love is born in the mind. It results in a speechless communion between the souls. Love is a dialogue between the two souls.

The couple cut themselves from the world for a period of time when nothing distracts them. Books, newspapers, magazines, radio and TV are kept out. No diversion shatters their peaceful heaven. In their paradise, they engage in small talk. When there is a pause in conversation, they think of love, rainbows, honey and moon.

One obstacle to romance in marriage is illness, especially headaches, real or feigned, often the latter. These are best overcome by one washing or massaging the other’s head (not brain), says the programme.

This is soothing as it increases the circulation of blood essential which sparks romantic rainbows. Once the feeling of carrying a "head" is gone, both feel light at heart and are inclined to accept each other’s failings.

The couple should think only of the brighter and the positive aspects of each other. Such an approach enlarges the area of harmony which helps in cementing the relation and each thinks that he/she is living with a really liveable person.

The well-meaning "romance your wife" programme promises good results, enriching the marriage, as it concentrates on the pink and nurses the mind only on harmonious aspects of the relationship. The couple discover vitality which they thought had deserted them.

This seemingly fanciful theory has a sound biological basis. Marriage would be more often a success if its core is understood and knowledge acted upon.

"There are only two rocks on which the soul must either anchor or be wrecked — the one is God and the other is the sex opposite," says F.W. Robertson.