Eight ways to help you heal

ACCORDING to a Chinese proverb, a day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy. There is truth in that ancient wisdom. When dark, difficult, dreary days come, the weight seems unbearable, the length interminable. And those days of sorrow and sadness come to all. Here are some strategies for the healing of sorrow.

No one goes through life without experiencing disappointments and losses — a job is lost; friends or relatives experience marital problems; a child is injured; a good friend betrays a confidence; someone we counted on lets us down. The litany of human sorrows can be very long. Yet there are ways of responding to sorrow which lead to recovery and the enjoyment of life once again, says Victor M. Parachin

1. Heal yourself by helping others. Consider this comment by Dr Albert Scheweitzer: "I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

Helping others brings solace to our own spirits because in reaching out to another we take the focus off our own pain and hurt. By helping someone in need, our perspective is broadened. The heavy, oppressive feelings suffocating our spirits are lightened through the joy gained through helping a needy person.

2. Tap into the spiritual. An increasing number of women and men are discovering the benefits of prayer, meditation and worship. These activities connect them to a higher power where they experience a renewal of mind and spirit.

Tapping into the spiritual does not necessarily mean connecting with traditional places of worship. In addition to these places of worship, there are metaphysical, self-realisation and Transcendental Meditation groups.

3. Remind yourself that a higher purpose is at work. Be open to the reality that there is often a higher purpose for our sorrow and difficulty. There are times when what appears to be a burden is actually a blessing in disguise.

4. Raise your spirits through poetry and inspirational writings. Many of the great poets and writers experienced the same sorrows we go through. Reading their insights can raise our spirits.

For example, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow experienced a great tragedy in July 1861. His beloved wife, Francis Elizabeth, was burned to death when her dress caught fire. Yet, this great poet wrote these words of comfort, which continue to bring solace to others today:

Seek out wisdom and comfort from inspirational books such as A Simple Path by Mother Teresa; Illuminata, A Return to Prayer by Marianne Williamson; Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh; and The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.

Let friends be your medicine.

The feeling of being loved and cared for by friends and family goes a long way in protecting you from the negative effects of stress. Surround yourself with individuals who will let you speak freely, honestly, openly without judging or criticising you. Their listening will be a source of comfort, and healing for you. Of course, be sure to do the same for them when they are in need.

6. Make an attitude adjustment. Unfortunately, when a difficulty comes our way, it can cast a wide shadow over our lives, making everything appear negative and gloomy.

Because of that reality, strive to make an attitude adjustment. We need to see not only what has been lost but also what remains. When difficulty comes, we need to train ourselves to make the most of what’s left.

7. Change your food to improve your mood. More and more studies are confirming a link between certain foods and our ability to feel more alert, calm, energetic and upbeat.

"We’ve found that some foods influence the production of brain chemicals that are directly involved in determining our mood, mental energy, performance and behaviour," says Judith Wurtman, a nutrition researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Another person who maintains there is a link between food and mood is Deepak Chopra, M.D., and author of several best-selling books, including Boundless Energy.

Dr Chopra recommends eating those foods which are especially rich in natural energy:

Fresh fruits and lightly cooked vegetables;

Wheat, rice, barley and other whole grains;

Non-meat sources of protein such as beans;

Honey as a substitute for refined sugar.

Dr Chopra also advises avoiding foods that deplete energy such as red meat, aged cheese, alcohol and coffee, smoked and canned foods.

8. Study, learn and respond to your sorrow, "Prosperity is too apt to prevent us from examining our conduct; but adversity leads us to rethink properly of our state, and so is most beneficial to us," observed Samuel Johnson. Let sorrow be your teacher. There are times when sorrow can alert and awaken us.

Finally, it can help a great deal to exercise patience with yourself. Life can be quite cyclical with times of sadness followed by times of pleasure and joy. Remind yourself that a time of sadness is useful because it helps you appreciate better the bright, sunny days of life.

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eye no tears," said noted American poet John Vance Cheney. — Asia Features