From staying up all night to cooking up delights, these tricity fathers are doing it all for their kids

A father carries pictures where his money used to be, goes a famous saying. But most of the times, it is mothers, who walk away with all the glory when a newborn makes his debut in a family. However, the reality is that a whole new world opens up for men too as they step into the shoes of a parent. Lifestyle brings to you the experiences and emotions of new fathers, for whom their little bundle of joy means the world.

"I had tears of joy when I held my baby for the first time in my arms," shares Priyank Teji, a software professional from the city. "It was a life- changing moment for me. Shiren, who is two now, is the priority and life revolves around him," he smiles, adding that he is indebted to his wife for showering him with such a beautiful gift. From changing nappies to being up all nights, this father has done it all.

Atul Nehra, a practicing advocate in Punjab and Haryana High Court can't think of anything beyond his daughters Kanan and Kavery. "I was a son till my daughter called me papa for the first time. It was such a wonderful feeling. Now, my world is limited to my two little darlings. Carefree weekend outings, movie marathons have all taken a back seat," shares this young dad.

In equal bliss is Kushik Sharma, who is with Tech Mahindra. "My son Hemang has made me more responsible," he feels. This daddy dearest loves to do all for the baby when he's home. "There is unsaid understanding between us, when I am home, Hemang is my responsibility. After all, my wife needs some rest too," he says.

Parminder Singh, manager with Nankshahi Digital Library, finds it difficult to express his feelings of being a father in words: "It's such a magical thing. Life has completely turned. I just can't wait to hug my kid when I reach home after work every day. The man penned a small poem when his son Gurmat took his first step. Parminder feels that having his own kid has made him value his parents even more.

"I really wonder why doesn't fatherhood gets emphasised as much as the motherhood," quips Ravinder Kumar, a senior executive with Agro Dutch Industrial Ltd. He says his two-year-old daughter Rhythm has given his life a new direction. "Children are the true treasure of life. Nothing material benefit can give you as much happiness as a child does," he adds.

mona@tribunemail.com

Indian fashion designer Manish Arora has combined highly contrasting colours and intriguing shapes with Bollywood sparkle, pop culture, humour and sheer joie de vivre to create an exuberant collection of accessories for the wrist, all in the spirit of Swatch!

Some of the Swatch models designed by Manish Arora are :

OVER CHARM

Hearts are a favourite theme in designer Manish Arora’s work, and this delightfully over-the-top Skin brings Bollywood-style romance to the wrist. The semi-bangle bracelet is formed of hearts-within-hearts in stainless steel 316L on either side of the case. Dangling from the bangles are clusters of heart-shaped charms, each one made of stainless steel 316 combined with sparkling or coloured synthetic resin inlays or white crystals. Romance reasserts itself at the centre of the bright, fluorescent pink dial: it’s another heart. Shiny silver appliqué hearts of different sizes mark all hours. (Rs 13,750)

DANCING HANDS

In a colourful tribute to the art of dance, this striking Swatch Puzzle Motion features close-up shots of bejewelled and painted hands in motion. The top folio strap presents a column of coloured panels, each featuring a single hand caught in a stylized gesture. (Rs 5,250)

The desire for ‘Mr Right’ seems to be fuelled by peer pressure

He should be tall, dark and handsome.. should be intelligent .. should give me a lot of space.. in short, should be a complete package’.. Whew! So many should bes for a would be!

But is it right to have many shoulds, even before embarking on the relationship? “It might be right to have certain set parameters to ascertain as to who qualifies to be your ‘Mr Right’, but then, you might just end up being single because of those very parameters,” feels Neha Arora (26), manager sales at Max New York Life Insurance.

While city-based journalist Tamanna Sharma says: “I think the feeling to have ‘someone special’ is at its peak, courtesy the hormonal changes. But, the problem is that I find myself spending the time analysing any guy, who asks me out, from head to toe.”

Girls, now, have more freedom and they take decisions by choice, not by chance. Moreover, there are many options for socialising, its not that they ought to fall in love with the first guy they come across, smiles Tamanna.

So what do the experts say? City-based psychologist Dr Sandeep Chatwal insists: “Who’s the one’ de facto is not the only problem, rather the desire to fill the vacuum to have ‘someone special’ is driving the youth, especially girls, emotionally unstable these days. Such cases have risen in the past four years.”

But why this sudden change in the trend? Feels Princy Ahuja (23), executive assistant at a web designing agency, Red Alkemi: “Girls have just started acknowledging their individuality and are trying hard to draw a balance between their traditional and cosmopolitan lifestyle, and thus, this analysis never ends.”

The lifestyle change where girls work hard for their careers shows. Says Dr Chatwal, “Parents play the most important role in building the child’s overall personality. Children who were devoted less quality time by parents when they were five-11 years of age, always seek attention from outside their homes.”

The feeling ‘I am insignificant’ gets engrained in such kids. Especially the girls who were deprived of pampering/emotional support from their fathers during childhood, feel the need to get into a relationship strongly, he adds.

He further adds that the kids who stay away from their homes for more than two-three years feel the need to have someone to love and support them more.

Whereas Dr Preeti Arun, head Psychiatry department, GMCH-32, says: “Both boys and girls get affected if relations don’t materialise, but girls let the rifts affect them more, while the boys try to focus on other priorities.” Peer pressure, too, plays a major role in it, she adds.

And if an equation doesn’t work out, a girl seeks another shoulder to lean on sooner as compared to a boy, Dr Preeti asserts.

So, what’s the solution to this problem?? “That which does not kill me leaves me stronger,” Nietzsche smiles.

If you are not careful, the cartoon characters will rival your relationship with your kid

Young boys are forming closer ties with TV characters such as Bob the Builder than with their own parents, an expert has warned. According to leading child expert Sue Palmer, marketers are exploiting children’s trait of becoming attached to a favourite toy or story character by creating a whole industry around it of DVDs, books and toys. “If parents aren’t careful, and especially if they aren’t around, their son’s relationship with Elmo, Bob the Builder or Fireman Sam could rival his relationship with them,” she said.

“Talking and singing to children is critical to the development of empathy and language, but it does not work with screens.

“The danger is that the child will be more fascinated by the things they see on screen, and not learn and be fascinated by real-life human beings and real-life play,” she added.

While Palmer admits that children of both sexes are increasingly in thrall to technology, boys seem to succumb more to the ‘unholy alliance between technology and consumerism’, and are more susceptible to the need for ‘toy consumption’.

According to her, Bob the Builder is particularly appealing to boys because of the ‘boy-friendly ingredients of tool use, basic mechanics and male status’, and they will come to associate their favourite character with ‘safety and happiness’. In her new book, 21st Century Boys, Palmer says the attachment to television characters is part of the toxic childhood that seeks children damaged by a combination of ‘junk food, junk play and junk culture’. “Children have, of course, always become attached to favourite toys or other special objects and used them as comforters,” she said.

“What’s different here is the commercial exploitation of a deep human need in children under three years old,” she added.

Colwyn Trevarthern, a developmental psychologist, said allowing children to be dominated by media-driven toy consumption was ‘tantamount to neglect’.

“There is a sense of poverty in these activities compared with those that develop the natural creativity of children,” he told. — ANI

Recent researches reveal which sex is better at what

The battle of the sexes has been going on since the conception of the world. Now, researchers have used science to put the record straight. Results of many recent studies have shed new light on the answers to some key questions in the age-old battle of the sexes.

Driving Women really are worse drivers than men, revealed a computer-based study at the University of London, which claimed that females rely on landmarks to get around and are slower to take in spatial information.

Car repairs While men are claimed to be better drivers, but it is the women who are better at basic car maintenance. Infidelity When it comes to spotting infidelity, men have an upper hand over women. A study by Virginia Commonwealth University found men were right 94 per cent of the time when their other halves were playing away. Women were right only 80 per cent of the time. Dieting Men are actually better at dieting than women, claimed a study, which found that women struggle more to avoid eating, to excess when hungry, while men are better at suppressing their appetites.

At work Women are better at working in teams and making deals while men are more likely to excel at scheming, back-stabbing and cheating, according to a study conducted at Edinburgh and Lausanne universities.

Shopping Women are better at shopping than men, according to researchers at the University of California, which found that women excelled at finding their way around stores and could locate products and remember the location of fruit, vegetables and high calorie treats.

Multi-tasking A 2007 report shattered the myth that women can multi-task while men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. A study by Right Guard said that the average man performs 13.4 roles and keeps up with his partner by doing everything from cleaning to chauffeuring children on top of holding down a full-time job.

Telling jokes In a 2003 poll, 98 per cent of males and 68 per cent of females said men were the best at cracking gags and Prof Christie Davies, from Reading University, said that blokes became better joke tellers because they needed humour as cavemen. — ANI

A new study by researchers from UC Davis Medical School and Michigan State University has found a link between problems early in school - as early as kindergarten - and lower high school test scores.

“In our study, a child’s inability to pay attention when they start school had the strongest negative effect on how they performed at the end of high school - regardless of their IQ (intelligence quotient),” said lead study author Joshua Breslau, an assistant professor of internal medicine at the UC Davis School of Medicine and a researcher with the UC Davis Center for Reducing Health Disparities. He suggested that addressing attention problems early in life could keep some children from entering “a downward spiral of failure.” Breslau and colleagues analysed data on approximately 700 children who were followed from kindergarten (ages 5 through 6) through the end of high school (ages 17 through 18). It examined the relationship between aggressive, inattentive and depressive behaviours and children’s later performance on standardised high school achievement tests. The researchers found that inattentiveness in kindergarten was the only behaviour that consistently predicted lower scores on reading and math achievement tests administered more than a decade later.

“Our study shows that early attention problems predict poor performance later in math and reading,” Breslau said. — ANI

City-bred actor Gavie Chahal cannot stop talking about his two canine friends, Rex & Buddy

He defines life as a compilation of events that unfurls with each passing day. And, work is passion that will probably never see the end of the day. Gavie Chahal, a television actor, finds nothing more therapeutic than work. However, he can vouch for two constant source of companion in his difficult and demanding journey. "Rex and Buddy will never ask for anything but they will always be there (if destiny allows)," says Gavie, who is shooting for Balaji's Koi Aaney Ko Hai on Colours. And when it comes to talking about the two he has all the time in the world. Here he goes…

• Lifeline: Two-year-old Rex, a German Shepherd, and Buddy, a Labrador, are my best buddies. My association with them is not too old but as when I am with them I feel as if god has send them for me only. Three of us share a strong bond of understanding and companionship. However, Rex is closer to me, given his docile nature. Buddy is a bit snooty.
• All the time in the world: Ideally I would want to spend the entire day with the two. But, the nature of my work does not allow me to do so. All the same, I try to spend some quality time with them, whenever I am home. An hour in the morning and evening is reserved for them. This is the time when the three of us freak out the most. We play football. Laughs, "Actually, I play and they distract me."
• Summer care: I bet they feel the heat the way I do. My family, especially my brother, takes special care of them during the summer. They sleep in a room with an air conditioner. We take them to the vetenary doctor regularly. And of course, a good diet keeps them fit.
• Best stress buster: After a long and tiring day of work, returning home to Rex and Buddy is therapeutic. They run and jump when I get back home. They even get on my bed and cuddle under my legs. I pat them, love them and they do the same. And lo, all my fatigue just disappears.

Jasmine@tribunemail.com

The 3-day Mohali Natak Mela begins

With the construction of the palatial Inderdhanush auditorium at Panchkula, there has been a burst of cultural and theatre activities while Mohali, bereft of such a venue, still remains the poor cousin of City Beautiful. Thanks to the dedicated theatre groups, who notwithstanding the inadequacy, have ventured to launch the first edition of the three-day Mohali Natak Mela from May 29 here at the Ajit Karam Singh International Public School (AKSIPS) Phase 11, Mohali.

"The festival is being organised for the first time with the guidance of legendary theatre activist Gursharan Singh under the aegis of Bhai Manna Singh Nat Ashram, said eminent director Sahib Singh. "Our endeavour to serve the culturally starved art loving audience with a substitute to the vulgar and provoking culture being dished out to them," adds Sahib Singh. The meticulously chosen plays will bare evils ailing the social, administrative and political systems while offering an engrossing and meaningful entertainment, he claims. Following is the schedule of presentation.

People for Animals, Chandigarh, has the perfect companion for anyone who is ready to be loved unconditionally and just forever and ever:

1. Five one-month-old female kittens, grey and white colour, very active, ready for adoption.

2. One male and female kittens with shinning white are grey coat are ready for adoption. They have been sterilised and vaccinated too.

3. Three good looking male pups, one-month-old, brown and white colour, mixed breed, healthy and playful are available for adoption.

Lost & found

Found one male dog, around three-year-old, golden brown colour, Lasa-apso breed from PGI-Chandigarh, on April 15.

For any information, contact:

PFA-Chandigarh at 0172-2749080, 2749211

From 9:30 am to 5:30 pm

Monday to Saturday

Or visit us at #1522, Sector 11

www.pfachandigarh.com

Mariah Carey is auctioning off a rare dress created to raise funds for breast cancer research

Mariah Carey is auctioning off a rare designer dress especially created for her to raise money for breast cancer research. The ‘Hero’ singer is supporting charity Susan G. Komen for the Cure to sell a hot pink, asymmetric fishtail gown on auction website eBay.com.

The couture dress is one of only three in the world and was made by Julian Contreras after Carey asked fans to send in fashion designs inspired by her perfume, ‘Luscious Pink’.

Ever since the gown has been up for sale, fans are clamouring to get hold of it and have already quoted a price of $ 5,600, while there are still five days for the bidding to close. The item was listed with a starting price of $ 500, reports Contactmusic. — ANI

Troubled British singer Amy Winehouse has joined hands with British fashion house PPQ to launch her own designer collection.

Femalefirst.co.uk reports, the singer has finalised talks with bosses at the brand and is now set to produce her own range for the company, which will be based around Winehouse’s signature retro style. She will do it once she returns from her extended break in the Caribbean.

Amy Molyneaux of PPQ is delighted to have the songwriter on board.

“There have been talks with Amy and we are now in the first stages of the project. The range will be all about high-end statement pieces, inspired by Amy’s style,” said Molyneaux.

“It’s going to be distributed online, we are going to be providing all materials and doing the design, but Amy will definitely be involved in the creative process,” she added. — IANS

Swarovski has been participating in the magic of the Cannes Film Festival for the past 10 years. It is a major player in the entertainment industry and is accompanying amazing actresses in many great movies. From Halle Berry in Tomorrow Never Dies, Emmy Rossum in The Phantom of the Opera, Meryl Streep in The Devil wears Prada to the girls from “Sex and the City,” all have been wearing Swarovski accessories on the big screen.

At Cannes-09, many stars selected Swarovski to accessorize their outfits. The fifth night on the red carpet saw Anne-Sophie LAPIX sporting their Gemma bag.

The Gemma Black Evening Bag is trendy in its shape, yet classic in design with crystal pavé gleaming at the corners. This clutch is the flavour of the times at cocktail events. Its black satin complements the flat square Moonlight crystal on the flap. A must-have for interesting happenings. It is priced at Rs 25,800.

— TNS

‘Posh’ Victoria Beckham owns $2m worth of Hermes Birkin bags

Singer Victoria Beckham is a huge aficionado of Hermes Birkin bags. According to the Daily Mail, former Spice Girl has nearly 100 Hermes Birkin bags, worth more than $ 2 million altogether, reports New York Daily News.

The Birkin bag, named after actress Jane Birkin and designed by French fashion house Hermes, usually starts around 7,500 dollars.

Posh Spice has been seen carrying the pink ostrich skin and black crocodile versions and also owns Silver Himalayan style, which comes with a three carat diamond and is worth about $ 120,000. ANI

Michelle Obama continues to win admirers after stunning the New York crowd in her purple cocktail dress during a public show of support for the arts in the city recently. The US First Lady braved the chilly weather in a purple wool and silk sheath, paired with a jacket from Isaac Mizrahi, during her arrival at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to cut a ribbon for the opening of a new wing.

The mum-of-two, who has a line of dreamy-eyed designers waiting to dress her, later reached Lincoln Center to celebrate the American Ballet Theatre’s Opening Night Gala.

“Michelle Obama is a huge inspiration,” the New York Daily News quoted Mizrahi as saying.

“She has created the new democracy of fashion, the perfect balance between casual and propriety. She has already become a fashion icon for the ages,” Mizrahi added.

Met Museum President Emily Rafferty introduced Michelle, noting that the President and his wife enjoyed their first date at a Chicago museum.

Michelle said: “After 20 some odd years of knowing a guy, you forget that your first date was at a museum. But it was, and it was obviously wonderful. It worked.” ANI

Lifestyle invites responses from readers on the following issue:

Are summer workshops a recreation for kids or just another slot in their hectic schedule?

Please email the responses to lifestyletribune@gmail.com or post along with your photo and contact number to ‘Relatively Speaking’, Lifestyle, The Tribune, Sector 29, Chandigarh. The best few responses will be published.