…ask the celebs who are still recovering from the Mumbai terror attack

Christmas is a low-key affair this year

It's that time of the year when fog wraps up the entire city, winds whispers of chill, and bright and happy faces huddle together in a mass celebration. But this time its different. Memories of bloodshed, lull in the markets, all-in-all a silent Christmas, courtesy the terrorists who bombed The Taj-Mumbai, killed innocent people and left a scar which will remain there for a long time.

And as a mark of respect to the brave hearts, our restaurant owners have decided to keep Christmas and New Year celebrations a low-key affair.

"The yuletide spirit is all about sharing and what our country and people of Mumbai have gone through, is cause enough to keep it low," says R.P. Singla, general manager, Mountview-10. He adds, "Keeping 26/11 in mind, we have decided not to go for any celebrations this year."

Same holds good for Shivalik View-17.

Known for its lavish spreads and great food Swagath-26 too is not cooking anything special for the Xmas dinner. "No special menu, no parties, no decking up the restaurant in bright hues, is what the restaurant association has decided for the festive season, read Christmas and New Year," says Philip, manager, Swagath. Ask him why, and the answer comes straight from the heart, "So many of our people died in Mumbai, how can we celebrate when so many families would be mourning the loss of their loved ones."

"Keeping the tradition alive, Taj-17 would be serving the Turkey but no fun and frolic," says Eitika, PR manager, Taj-17.

Well, we can proudly say our city sure has the spirit of oneness and love for all.

jigyasachimra@tribunemail.com

From live-in to gay relationships to butchering of kins, 2008 saw the gravest of issues come out of the closet

An online matrimony website starts an exclusive service for the rich and famous

Consim Info Pvt Ltd, formerly known as BharatMatrimony group, today launched an exclusive matrimony website for the super-rich, celebrities and the who's who of the society.

The new website, www.elitematrimony.com, will offer a differentiated experience for handpicked and selected customers through a comprehensive range of premium benefits and personal attention that their lifestyle demands.

In a statement here, Consim Info founder and CEO Murugavel Janakiraman said, ''We have been working hard to deliver the product features and personal attention we know that the millionaires and celebrities value and deserve when it comes to online matrimony. We want to offer our most sophisticated customers a new dimension in online matrimony with an exclusive service that scores high on trust, credibility, access to the choicest profiles and success in a discreet set-up.'' The membership to this ultra-premium website will be by invitation only and based on the credentials of the potential members. The fee for this unique service has been set at Rs 1lakh for a six-month membership. Benefits to members include the choice of selecting from a database of the elite of the society ranking high on social status, education, accomplishments and influence. Each member will be assigned a trained and discreet relationship manager who, if required, will search, identify, shortlist and call on prospective partners based on member preferences.

Hitherto, the elite had to generally mask their identity when searching for partners on regular matrimony services. Not any more.

WithElitematrimony.com, they will be searching among select segments like themselves in terms of status and wealth. The special site also provides a high level of privacy to members who prefer not to reveal their identity.

Consim planed to enrol about 100 members per month for this pioneering service and was targeting revenues of Rs 12 crore per annum, Janakiraman said.

Membership will be limited to people from among businessmen and industrialists, highly-placed personalities in public life and of course celebrities in entertainment and sports. — UNI

The trauma of children whose parents are involved in matrimonial dispute has drawn the attention of the Delhi High Court, which said couples often remain unmindful of the psychological, mental and physical impact it has on kids. Justice Kailash Gambhir in a recent judgement said the children are the worst sufferers "who not only get deprived of love, care and affection of one of their parents but practically become targets for the parties to score over one another in this mad race and obsession of winning possession, exclusive control and custody of the children".

Expressing concern over the changing behaviour of the children due to the differences between their parents, Justice Gambhir said "The marital discord sometimes reaches a stage where parties are unmindful of what psychological, mental and physical impact it has on children."

"Children, whose parents seek divorce, witness negative family interaction prior to a divorce and also experience many life transitions and strained familial relationship after divorce," Justice Gambhir said.

The observations of the court came while dealing with a petition filed by a man seeking custody of his daughter from his estranged wife in a matrimonial case.

For more than seven years, the husband and wife have been filing petitions one after another before the court accusing each other of violating the court order for their daughter's custody. — PTI

at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or Life Style, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chd

I am a good-looking girl in my early 20s and have recently become friends with a boy who is my colleague. He is about 32. I have been told by other colleagues in the office that he has a reserve nature and does not have many friends. He is dark and skinny and my friends think I am being stupid to like him. But he makes me feel good and I am happy with him. His only drawback is that he does pass nasty remarks like ‘you have fat arms’ or ‘your hair looks too wavy, do something about it’. I actually don't mind his remarks, but sometimes I do feel like answering back. But then I feel that might offend him and I would lose a good friend. How do I deal with this situation?

Nisha Soudhi, Panchkula

I don't really think this is a serious problem. If you like the guy then continue with your friendship. In case your friend is being critical, it is perhaps his own self-esteem problem. Somewhere deep inside, he probably feels you are too good looking for him and he does not deserve you. So, by passing nasty comments he is just trying to justify it within himself. You have to be very understanding, you have to make him feel comfortable about his looks. Tell him in a polite and a nice way that it upsets you when he is too critical. Also tell him that you would like it if he appreciates you instead of criticising your looks. Then do watch him change his nature. Probably, he is completely unaware that he is hurting you on a subconscious level. You shouldn't get much bothered by it.

I am 23. My parents never ever got along well with each other. No matter how hard I tried to win their favour, they were never happy with my performance whether it was in academics or other walks of life. Even now, when I am working I am always told that the neighbours daughter has a better job than me. Now, I dont feel good about myself. Although as an adult, I realise I must get over all this and move on with life, I still feel caught in a negative web of emotions. Please help me.

Karuna Mehta, Karnal

You have to remember that there is a small child within all of us, no matter how old we get. It constantly needs nurturing so please do not feel guilty or upset about your emotional upheavals and just accept them as a part of your spiritual growth process. If the little girl inside of you needs some nurturing please do not feel ashamed or embarrassed about it, learn to accept your own feelings and it will enhance your process of growth. Anyways, whatever happened in your childhood is an old story now. Don't let your parent's attitude get you down. Once that happens all other issues get sorted.

I am 36. I recently came to know that my wife of six years is seeing another man. We have always had a happy marriage on the surface and not many people know that twice we have been on the verge of divorce. There are no kids involved so things never seem too murky in our relationship. I have always felt, I am not good enough for her. She is highly educated, from a very good family and very beautiful. I come from an ordinary background and work as an assistant professor in an engineering college. I feel she could have done better in life than to have married me. I am trying very hard to make her happy and content. I feel I have really failed in all my efforts, as she is still looking outside our marriage for love and support, please help.

Sunil Nijhawan, Ambala

You are definitely facing a lot of challenges in your personal life. The main issue for you would be to first work on yourself rather than trying to work on your marriage. Build confidence in you. Sometimes we miss the best opportunities due to lack of confidence. Just don't try to look for love and acceptance from your wife. Learn to love yourself enough so that you can attract love in all aspects of your life. Even if your wife is seeing someone else, it is not necessary that she is in love with him, it could be a simple harmless platonic relationship. Everyone needs friends in life. Do not eye everything with suspicion. Once your self-esteem is high, you will naturally view the situation from a different perspective. Your new and confident persona will be emitting a different vibration, which will definitely be more attractive to your wife.

The only local contest, Face of the Year-2008 tries to bring forward the best in the region again

It's the same event that a few years back brought Kangana Ranaut into limelight. Then a year down the line, the beauty pageant produced Anmol Gill, a model, who now walks down the ramp at major fashion weeks. On Wednesday, as the Victoria Face of the Year 2008 began, expectations were huge. And the twenty pretty young ladies promised to deliver.

The local beauty contest is a gateway for girls who want to be a part of the glam world. Ruchi Ranjan, a contestant from Delhi feels that after producing a few successful faces from the region, the contest assures creditability. "I wish to be a supermodel. Winning this pageant could be a launch pad for me in the direction," says she.

The participants will be competing for 12 subtitles including miss photogenic, perfect 10, best catwalk…We wanted to know more on how the finalists are short listed and Sunil Bansal, organiser of the event answer our queries. "We have selected girls who have got the looks to be in the modeling, film and television world. Other than modeling, height is not the prerequisite to make big in the glam industry. So, our focus remains on selecting the most beautiful face." Janet Sudarshan, 5 feet 2 inches in height feels the pageant is a platform for girls from the region who has the confidence to make it big. "It's a must avail opportunity for girls who aren't very tall but have the right attitude and looks to compete," says she.

Ask judges what they are looking for in the face of the year, and they say in unison, " From attitude, to face, to catwalk and confidence, everything is important." Navneet Saxena, a city based photographer and judge at the show points out the must haves, "As a photographer, I am looking for the face that would make any photograph complete."

For another judge, Ritu Singh, an artist by profession, charming looks and smile is very important: "The overall personality matters a lot too but smile enhances the beauty of a person, thus my criteria of giving extra marks."

One of the best-known plant products, which have been used for cosmetic purposes since the ancient times, is the rose. Herbalists have used it for a variety of ailments too which, include psychosomatic problems. Apart from the water, the extract, oil, and even the fragrance of rose is beneficial. The fragrance of Rose is said to have a soothing effect on the nerves and induces relaxation.

One of the most important properties of rose is its beneficial action on the skin. It promotes blood circulation to the skin surface and tones the capillaries. It also has an astringent action, closing the pores and reducing surface oil. This is the reason why rose water is one of the best-known skin fresheners. Rose extracts and oil have been formulated into tonics and lotions, not only for routine skin-care, but also for the treatment of many skin problems.

Rose can be used for all skin types, including sensitive skin. Rose is a natural coolant and freshener. That is why it is excellent during hot and humid weather.

Home Care:

• Rose water is one of the best natural skin toners. Chill some rose water in a bowl. Using cotton wool, wipe the skin with it. Then pat the skin briskly with the rosewater soaked cotton wool pads. It helps to keep the skin healthy and youthful.
• w For oily skin, add lemon juice and rose water in equal quantities. Dip cotton wool in it and use it to wipe the face. It will help to remove the surface film of oil and stale sweat and leave you with a cool and fresh feeling.
• w For normal to dry skin, mix half teaspoon of pure glycerin with 50 ml rose water. Keep it in a glass bottle. Apply a little of this mixture daily on the face. It can also be applied on hands and feet to moisturise. In winter, when oily skins feel dry, this lotion may be used to moisturise the skin daily.
• w A few drops of rose water can be added to sandalwood paste and applied on rash, pimples, acne or boils, to soothe and cure. It helps to reduce inflammation.
• w Rose water can also be added to face packs and scrubs. Almond meal can be used with a little rose water as a facial scrub. For oily skin with blackheads, mix rice flour with rose water and use as a facial scrub. Apply on the face and rub gently on the skin with small circular movements. Leave on for a few minutes and wash off with water.
• w For oily skin, mix multani mitti with rose water into a paste and apply. Wash it off when it dries.
• w Rose water can also be used to complete the skin cleansing process. After using cleansing cream and gel, wipe the skin with rose water, using cotton wool. It removes the last traces of cleanser and other residues and leaves the skin fresh and clean. It also helps to improve skin texture and close the pores.
• w Dip cotton wool pads in rose water and use as eye pads, to remove fatigue and brighten the eyes.
• To make fragrant massage oil, mix 10 drops of essential oil of rose with 50 ml olive oil or sesame seed (til) oil. Remember that essential oils should never be used by themselves, but should be mixed with pressed oils.

Another South Indian actor makes her entry into Bollywood with Ghajini. Having made her mark down south, Asin plays the lead opposite Aamir.

While everyone is waiting to see the southern beauty in her Bollywood avatar, those who have seen the promos says that the girl is a natural actor. Brimming with confidence and enthusiasm, she insists she is here to stay. We get her talking about her debut film and future.

How did Ghajini happen?

After watching my performance in Tamil version of Ghajini, Aamir Khan called me and offered me the lead role. I decided to do because he is such a good actor.

You have moved into the big league with Aamir's production.

I am happy that I got a chance to work with Aamir, director Murugadoss, cameraman Ravi K. Chandran and composer A.R. Rehman. It is a perfect project to go ahead with.

How do you feel, as the release day gets closer? Are you nervous?

I am not nervous. May be a little but not too much. I know people are expecting a lot from Aamir and me.

How were the Tamil and Telugu versions?

The characters were the same but the technical team was totally different. Overall it was good experience in Tamil and Telugu.

How was it working opposite Aamir?

Aamir is a thorough professional. He is very co-operative and encouraging co-star. It has been a pleasure working with him.

Finally, how different is Bollywood from the South?

I have worked in many films in the South. They are extremely professional and I am happy that I got a working experience. It has really helped me.

What are your upcoming projects?

Vipul Shah's London Dreams with Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan, Priyadarshan's Aise Ko Taisa with Akshay Kumar and Bharat Bala's 19 Steps in Japanese and Hindi opposite Asano Tadanebu. — Dharam Pal

Ghurbat (foreign ) mein hon agar ham, rehta hai dil vatan mein

Samjho hamein vahin tum, dil ho jahan hamaara

This couplet by Allama Iqbal depicts the psyche of Melbourne-based septuagenarian NRI Punjabi poet, Gurdev Singh Rai. Though living in Australia, the poet, originally from a sleepy village Rakhran Bait (Hoshiarpur), has a heart that breathes for Punjabi culture. Every time he visits his home state, he comes with his new literary creation in diverse genre - poetry, prose and even history. As he caters to readers on diverse subjects, Rai has a large readership in Austria and India. He has as many as 15 books to his credit, four of which have been reprinted more than once.

The Hindi and Punjabi Cell of the Department of Languages, Government of Punjab, in association with the Punjab Sahit Akademi has organised the release of his latest poetry book Navela Rang at the Punjab Kala Bhavan-16 last evening. Labh Singh Kheeva presented a critical analysis of Rai's poetry. Balkar Singh Sidhu welcomed the chief guest C.R. Moudgil, director, Haryana Punjabi Sahit Akademi, who released the book, lauded the creative endeavor of the poet both in the free and metered verse as well the Haiku poetic pattern.