No woman, no cry
Parbina Rashid

Beer, hiking, beer, biking, several rounds of golf, beer, and never reading a map — are you ready for a mancation?

LOOKING forward to a cricket match so that your wife permits you to go out with buddies and re-live the bachelor’s days? If you are torn between you secret desire and an attack of conscience, you may find solace in the fact that most men are actually thinking along these lines. In fact, they have even found a new term for it — mancation.

So what’s a male-only vacation about? Well, it’s all about engaging in guy activities like sports, camping, gambling, chasing women and most of all, drinking. No wives, mistresses or girlfriends allowed. It helps the men get in touch with their male-primal roots.

The origin of the word supposedly was coined by actor Vince Vaughn in the film The Breakup in which he splits from his partner and wants to get away without his female friend. One cannot say with authority that this was the origin but one thing is for sure, this mancation is the latest buzzword in the tourism sector. And another thing, the concept has travelled fast from Hollywood to the city.

Meet Ankit Gupta and his gang. Come May and they’ll be flying to Goa. "The idea is to revive the magic of yesteryears, the days when we used to chill out together doing guy things." Was getting permission from their respective partners easy? "It’s surprising, but our girls are quite happy to let us go. The only condition is that they’ll also go for an all-girls night." On a serious note he adds, "Now that women are equal partners in a relationship shouldering equal responsibility, they realise that we all need our little space."

HEIGHTS OF FUN: Michelangelo Francis with his buddies on the way to Leh

Travel Trend THE concept of a gender specific trip has been around since the times of the first caveman who went hunting with his tribe. Yet, mancation has become a buzzword in the travel business lately. Tapping into the success of marketing all-girls getaway packages, hotels and resorts have started featuring all-male bonding vacation packages that include everything from poker, to extreme sports, to spa treatments. Did you know? ACCORDING to one online survey, about 34 per cent of male respondents take at least one mancation every year. It is estimated that about 20 million American men go on mancations every year and collectively spend between $10 billion and $12 billion during these excursions. Majority of these men are married and between the ages of 30 to 55.

And Ankit drew inspiration from a group of IT professionals who had come to stay in their hotel. "All of them were in their 40s and had come to watch an IPL match. They had such a blast together," he says. And well so did singer, artist and teacher Michelangelo Francis and his gang, who even took their dog to a trip to Leh-Ladakh last year. Ask them what inspired them to go on an all-men trip and Michelangelo cheekily sings, "No women, no cry`85"

Businessman Aman Grewal is looking forward to his weekend trip to Delhi. "I am going to attend a marriage there with my friends," he says. Any objection from his other half? "If you share an honest and transparent relationship with your spouse, then there can’t be a problem. Now-a-days wives are open-minded and are okay with letting their husbands spend time with their friends," he says. And what kind of fun activities has he planned for his mancation? "Anything impulsive like trekking or just reliving the past over a can of beer."

City-based designer Salil Gulati takes off with his buddies at least once a year. And, he has no permission issues. "We have earned it," he says. How? "By proving that we are trustworthy," chips in his buddies. Well, it says a lot about the relationships they share with their mates.

And for all those who are still wondering on how to convince their partner to let them go for a dream mancation, here’s a tip from the magazine Men's Health — Male-to-male helps men express their emotions better. Now, this shall help you convince her, for, it does hold promise, right?

Tech Trouble

What happens when technology tiptoes into the lives of couples? It drives them apart, finds Purva Grover

OOPS there is someone between you and your loved one. Now, don’t get wrong ideas, for this is no daily soap, so there is no revengeful woman or disloyal man. Then, what’s drawing the couple apart? Well, a beep on the mobile, a ping on the messenger, a beat on the Ipod, a scrap on the SNS, an e-mail on the Blackberry, a high score on Need for Speed and a lot more. Yes, knowingly or unknowingly, technology has swept into our lives and is responsible for the drift between couples. So how is leading a gizmo-invaded life like? Let’s find out from the city’s gizmo-obsessed couples.

To begin with, what’s the universally fave gadget? Of course, no points for guessing that it’s the mobile. Bank employee Ankita is oft busy deleting irrelevant messages and delivery reports when her husband is narrating his day at work. "No wonder, I miss half of the conversation. It’s almost like a habit," she confesses. Another MNC employee Anurag returns all the calls at the dining table. The result? Zero interaction between the couple and a boost for bad eating habits.

Another culprit causing havoc in relations is the game console. For many workaholics like Sachin, a day stands incomplete without a relaxed game. So by the time the Tekken champ hits a high score and turns to his wifey to talk, she is fast asleep. "But then, it’s my only way of de-stressing and she knows that," he justifies.

So does confession of an obsession for a gadget leads to better understanding, we wonder? "Surely," say Ritu and Somesh. The couple has their pre-retiring to bed schedule set. Ritu visits her Orkut and Facebook profile and Somesh listens to John Denver on his Ipod. What about interaction with each other? "It takes place in-between these techno-sessions," they tell. And besides, they stay in touch through out the day, thanks to Gtalk and SMS.

Now, receiving a lovey-dovey message when the work stress is getting on to one, sure peps one up but can a SMS replace the real sweet nothings? "Well, one does miss the personal touch and the face-to-face interaction," admits Ritu. Another related problem is the inability to resist the temptation to check the mail or reply back to a SMS as soon as one receives it.

And then the temptation is so strong that one doesn’t stop using it even when it irritates the other person. Laments Rachita, "The earpiece is a part of Sumit’s wardrobe. He is perpetually attending calls or replying back to e-mails." And well, the girlfriend’s perpetual complaints only lead to further fights.

Now, technology is a healthy boon but then, isn’t it also time to review our use of technology? So people, before gadgets become more important than your dear ones, log out or switch them off!

purva@tribunemail.com

Nostalgia in a Teacup
Parbina Rashid

From garden- fresh Orthodox to South African Red Bush to Vietnamese Rose Hip, city’s tea lovers want the best in their daily cuppa

Rumour has it that when Amrita Pritam and Imroz moved into their Delhi house, their pact was that the lady would cook the meals while Imroz would make tea. It seemed quite a profitable deal, till Imroz most of the time found himself in kitchen, with the kettle as company, thanks to the visitors who poured in to meet Amrita. "It was Amrita who introduced me to tea. I came from a village background where the Hakim used to prescribe tea if someone fell sick. But after I met her, I realised the role it played in her life. The crucial part was her 1 am teacup, when she wrote. Around that time, I would automatically wake up and head to the kitchen. She won’t even look at me, but take the cup," says Imrose. Such devotion and nostalgia are difficult to find, especially when most couples prefer an instant brew. The elegant high-tea concept is perhaps alive only in Jane Austin books.

Ashima Dutt looks sad, "While living in the tea gardens of Assam and Darjeeling, organising tea parties had become a daily affair — especially 11.30 am casual tea party and afternoon high-tea. But I miss that kind of culture here." However, she hasn’t given up the style in which she used to serve it, like hunting for China teacups wherever she goes. And nothing less than a properly laid out tray would do it for her — which means bright tray covers, nice teacosies and coasters.

A die-hard fan of garden-fresh orthodox tea, Ashima and her husband Vimal Dutt, now make do with Green Label and Tata Gold for daily cups and Duncan’s Runglee Rungliot (named after a priced tea garden in Darjeeling) for formal occasions. And here is how Ashmia likes her cup — put tealeaves in the pot and then pour hot water over it. Add milk later to retain the original aroma of the leaves. Ashima’s tip, use fresh water, not filtered water.

Osborne Lobo is another tea planter who got used to the routine of high tea during his postings in Assam and North Bengal, "I look back at those high teas with nostalgia, but got myself used to having the cup that comes prepared from the kitchen. However, we do organise high-tea when we use all that fine china, teacosy and tea caps," he adds.

However, a few die-hard tea fans like Ashish Kapila are trying their best to keep the tradition alive. The young businessman spends half an hour every morning indulging in an elaborate tea affair. His collection includes Lapsang Souchong, Oolong Tea, Hojicha Matcha in Japanese variety, Tra Sen and Rose Hip from Vietnam, Rooibos, a South African Red Bush tea, Chamomile from Germany and Hydrangea tea from Korea. He has an elaborate tea paraphernalia to enjoy each variety, the cups for his Korean tea come with an inbuilt sieve, besides bamboo whisks to make a frothy drink from the Japanese fine powdered tea. One of his Japanese tea varieties comes with puffed brown rice, a source of oxygen and energy. "It’s almost a ceremony for me every morning. It’s taking time out myself which has an therapeutic impact," he smiles.

First Day First Show
Designer Disasters
Rajiv Kaplish

Tashan: Avoidable

YASH Chopra is in love with love. Daag, Kabhie Kabhie, Lamhe, Chandni, Veer Zara — his oeuvre is rich. His son, Aditya, has a passion for grandeur. Dhoom, Dhoom 2, Ta Ra Rum Pum, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Aaja Nachle — all style, no substance. From extraordinary to ordinary. Style is again at the core of Tashan, the latest masala potboiler from Aditya’s stable. Designer fights, designer songs, designer locations. Let’s expose his ‘designs’.

‘Inglish-ispeaking’ UP goon-turned-Mumbai’s mafia don Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor); frail seductress Pooja (Kareena Kapoor); indigenous muscleman-cum-recovery agent Bachchan Pandey (Akshay Kumar); and desi casanova Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan) are in search of Bhaiyyaji’s ill-gotten wealth which Pooja has swindled after conning Jimmy. She has stashed the money in different cities. A godsend opportunity for the director to rope in the tourism ministry and take us on Bharat and videsh bhraman.

From the cold desert of Leh and sandy dunes of Rajasthan to the backwaters of Kerala, the ensemble cast breaks into song and dance while retrieving the stolen moolah. Thinking that Indian exotica may not suffice, the director even takes us to a Greek island. Desperate attempts to send the cash registers ringing.

An anorexic bikini-clad Kareena thinks she is India’s answer to Ursula Andress and emerges from the sea, a la Zeenat Aman in Qurbani. Saif tries to reprise the role of Mel Gibson in Mad Max. The less said about Anil Kapoor the better. Most of the time you can’t understand what he says. The more he tries to be melodramatic, the more he looks pathetic. Akshay Kumar’s comic sequences are exaggerated and his PJs (poor jokes) that catapulted him to the top of the heap last year, evoke yawns. Enough of comedy, Akshay might have thought after a while. So, he returns to what he is best at — action. But we are not impressed. Foiling the director’s designs, we come out thinking Race was Citizen Kane in comparison.

4 stories, 8 viewers

ONLY eight persons watching a movie. That was the fate of Sirf at a matinee. A ramble about four couples, it begins on a promising note, loses its way somewhere in the middle and ends disappointingly. An hour into the film and you think director Rajaatesh Nayar is trying to tell Chaar Kahaniyan, an abridged version of Sanjay Gupta’s Dus Kahaniyan.

Kay Kay Menon, Manisha Koirala, Ranvir Shorey, Sonali Kulkarni, Pravin Dabaas, Rituparna Sengupta, Nauheed Cyrusi and Ankur Khanna are — the four couples caught in the vortex of life. One of them is in desperate need of money. Another has name and fame, but no time for each other. A third one has a daughter with a serious affliction. The fourth has a strange problem — wifey belongs to a small town and is facing problems in her new environs.

But neither is the flick a shorter version of Dus Kahaniyan nor is the helmsman Sanjay Gupta. Nayar’s clumsy handling reduces the narrative to a farce and even the talented actors can’t redeem it. Buxom Manisha is another eyesore. Now, you know why there were sirf eight viewers!

Refreshing Entertainer

JUNO (Page), a 16-year-old high school teen suddenly faced with an unexpected pregnancy. That too with a guy whom she doesn’t consider her boyfriend. Pragmatic enough to realise that she needs to take control of the situation, she enlists the help of her best friend, Leah (Olivia Thirlby). Together she and Leah find out a couple, Mark & Vanessa Loring that is desperate for a child.

Facing her parents is a different story all together. Her Dad Mac Macguff (J.K. Simmons) and her step mom Bren Macguff (Allison Janney) react similarly. Their first thought is that she may have got into drugs or DWI. Like her, they are pragmatic. They decide to help her through the pregnancy.

Through the pregnancy, Juno starts to realise family values and nice things in her imperfect family. The Lorings, who look too perfect from the outside, have fissures within. Mark is unhappy that his wife doesn’t consider his contribution to the family income, as he works from home. He also realises that he is not ready for a child yet.

Vanessa, although desperately wanting to be a mom, is bitten by cold feet, developed in a prior adoption attempt. There’s strong performance by the main characters. Especially by Page in portraying a flamboyant yet scared teen. Michael Cera looks a confused guy. Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner look like real life yuppie couple. All in all, it’s a good entertainer. — TNS

Go wild

Is your burning ambition to get up close and personal with the world’s most amazing animals? Do you dream of capturing nature’s raw beauty on film? If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’, then Animal Planet is about to offer you the chance of a lifetime.

Animal Planet sets out to find the next great wildlife filmmaker. The eight-part reality series Unearthed: Film School Wild will follow four contestants on an intensive training course as they learn the essential skills and realities of creating a natural history documentary. Industry experts and renowned wildlife filmmakers Lyndal Davies and Andrew Barron will guide the contestants.

The budding filmmakers and animal enthusiasts will carry out their challenges at the award-winning Shamwari Game Reserve in South Africa in July. An international panel of experts will judge the final documentaries and the winner will have his or her film broadcast on Animal Planet.

In previous years, Unearthed students, including from India, have learnt how to film great white sharks underwater, using covert techniques, and aerial filming from a helicopter, during a game capture.

Applicants will be required to shoot a 3-minute personal profile. The film should be delivered in a DVD format with application form. For more information log on to www.animal.discovery.com. — TNS

Write to Renee

at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or Life Style, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chd

Neha, Panchkula

I do understand that such a long relationship does have a great bearing on your life. But then sometimes when things are not right, we have to let go. Now, why should your boyfriend doubt you after all these years? Specially when there is true love there is no room for doubts. If you do not have faith, then it is really not worthwhile chasing such a relationship. So have a heart to heart talk with him to clear out things or you could even ask a friend to intervene. If it still does not work out, I suggest you move on. You are young and vibrant and life has lots to offer. Take your chance.

Rajveer Sandhu, Chandigarh

It is rather encouraging to see your devotion. She is lucky to have such a friend. She doesn’t know what she is missing if she is ignoring you. So, hang on there. I’m sure she wants this guy because she knows he is not available and just because you are there, she takes you for granted. Just pretend for a few days that you are busy and have no time for her. Then watch her suddenly showing this newfound interest in you. Once she thinks you’re out of reach, it could kindle her interest. Remember nothing comes easy in life. You have to work hard for it. Also remember in life when we really want something from the heart, we get it for sure.

Sandeep, Ambala

This is a predicament. Anyway there is always a solution to every problem. First, how committed are you to this relationship? In our country caste, culture and tradition play a predominant role in marriage. Here we don’t just marry a person, but the entire family. So you are definitely in a very tricky situation. If you feel your girl friend is willing to accept your way of life then things will be easy otherwise it will defiantly be a problem for the rest of your life. Specially since you do not want to leave your parents. Discusses matters once in detail with your girl friend and thereafter with your parents too. Try to put things across to them in the right perspective. But ultimately the decision yours.

Row over a hotdog

Canadian-born actress and PETA activist Pamela Anderson was horrified by recent rumours making rounds on the Internet that she was caught eating a meat hotdog. The former Baywatch babe was appalled by the rumours of her being caught and photographed with a non-vegetarian hotdog at her sons’ baseball game near their home in Malibu. "It’s like Hotdoggate," she was quoted as saying. "Clearly, it’s a veggie dog," she added.

Mariah’s magic

Singer and actress Mariah Carey is trying to revive her career with independent film Tennessee after the huge flop Glitter almost seven years ago. Offers became scant after the disastrous Glitter, but producer Lee Daniels wanted to give her another chance. Carey is now set to return in the role of a waitress. She said: "It was cool for Lee Daniels to take a chance on me because obviously, you know, not everybody was going to do that." The film is about two men on a journey to find their estranged father and save their younger brother from leukaemia.