The Race is on
This time, fashion precedes a movie’s release!
Saurabh Malik

ABBAS Mustan’s sprint for supremacy in tinsel world with their latest flick Race is yet to take off, but the race for sunglasses sported by leading lights in this motion picture is in progress. Folks, you are on the right track. In the race to outdo each other in the contest of good looks, younglings are picking up peepers you will see Anil Kapoor, Sameera Reddy and even Bipasha Basu wearing in the movie that hits screens on March 21.  

If so far you haven’t seen the starry-eyed youngsters glancing at the world with tinted glasses of the actors, go to the college grounds, or even varsity campuses. You will find them playing their part with “big flick goggles” fairly covering their comely visages.

“The craze for Bollywood stuff was always there. No doubt about it,” says optician Aman Arora. “You had youngsters wearing Aamir Khan’s immaculate white cap with a dangling chain after the success of his movie Dil Hai Ke Manta Nahin. This is not all. Babli suits too were a rage. But this is, perhaps, the first time fashion has preceded a movie’s release in the city.”

Reposing on a comfy stool behind a full-fledged sunglasses counter in Aroma-22, Arora says: The movie’s release is nearly a week away, but the hip and happening crowd is already pulling out crisp currency notes from their wallets to pick up the stuff. “It’s good, it’s cool, and it’s trendy,” he asserts. “And to top it all, you get the fulfillment of donning stuff the heroes wear for projecting their best on the screen.”

Go to his shop in the hotel itself and you actually see nice posters of the movie in glossy black colour announcing the gala launch of Race eyewear. Ask Jagdish Singh of Arora Optical Company-22 and he says you do not really have to burn a hole in your pocket for buying the hot stuff. “You can easily pick up Anil Kapoor’s glasses or flaunt your attitude by putting on Bipasha’s goggs by pulling out anywhere between Rs 499 and Rs 2,099. Now fellows, it sounds so cool. How about trying the stuff?

saurabh@tribunemail.com

Blooming fad

Bold and bright or sweet and feminine, floral prints and flower-inspired designs dominate summer fashion. So, ladies & gentlemen, refresh your wardrobe with at least one floral clothing item, suggests Anandita Gupta

Photos by Pradeep Tewari
Photos by Pradeep Tewari
Wardrobe courtesy: Ebony & Style Check

THINK flower petals, delicate sprigs and bold bohemian blooms… all floating here n’ there. Powder pinks, jarring fuchsias, flaming oranges, leafy greens, muddy browns… rhapsodies of varying hues. Floating, fluttering fabrics, lush landscapes and floral bouquets. Well, that’s the fashion world’s current darling bud – floral prints. And while we women are climbing up the stylo-meters with all things flowery, can men just sit back?

So here’s the verdict: City men are fast forgetting pinstripes, checks and solid colours. It’s the soft flowers that are setting the spring-summer spirited. From bermudas and ties to flip-flops and shirts, men are getting naughtier, dandier and funkier by the day. Here’s a look at the new-age flower-power endorsers:

The city’s fashion-conscious, suave, urban men are finally romancing the flowers instead of romancing with flowers. “Checks and stripes are so plaid and boring,” quips Sandeep Malhotra of AM Travels, “Flowers in pastels can actually splash some bright colours into ones personality.” Agrees Sandeep Sharma, running a city-based advertising agency, “Though solid, plain colours look good with suits and formal wear, club wear has to be more cool. It’s here that the polkas and flowers fit in.”

Even paisleys are doing quite well, especially, when it comes to scarfs. “My personal favourite are silk scarves with paisleys, which I wear like a tie,” informs Panchkula-based Narendra Prakesh, who has around 20 such scarves. Adds Rahul Sabbarwal, a Panchkula-based businessman, “We metrosexual men are quite fond of flowers. But except for clothes, there are not many floral options in town. I’ve been rummaging through magazines, checked my favorite websites and so on, and there were the same floral standbys here and there, but nothing stood out as being particularly floral, especially not in footwear!”

Perhaps it’s this fondness for the flowers, which has led many biggie brands play with the motif. While Colour Plus has shirts in pastels (whites, sea-greens, mauves and pinks), with little flowers, Allen Solly’s done paisleys in a big way. “Our kurtis and shirts in polyester and cotton that came with a combination of stripes and florals did very well last year. So this year too, we’re getting a lot of cheerful stock in florals,” informs Jagjit Singh, assistant store manager at Allen Solly. Adds Ashween from Planet Fashion, “Priced at Rs 1,299,Van Huesen’s V.Dot shirts and Louis Phillipe’s linen shirts are all about flowers and leaves. Most of these are slim-fit and in earthy muds and browns.”

Meena Bazaar is yet another hub that’s got its men’s section all blooming. On offer here are slim-fit, club wear satin shirts by La-Romani (Rs 795-1,595). Casual, regular-fit shirts in lighter colours, also flaunt flowers in happy hues. Besides, there are floral ties by Lino Perres and Multi- million.

And well, if you’ve been flaunting flowers on your shirts last year, try experimenting with floral kurtas and flip-flops this time. Hot-picks here are Adidas floral slippers (Rs 1,100) and Fab India’s men’s kurtas in paisleys and flowers entwined with abstracts (Rs 700-1,000).

But why are our hunks lapping up flowers suddenly? “Fashion’s all about having fun and city men have realised that. Also, many men want to get dressed in flowers for theme parties or say their 40th birthday!” smiles Manish Jain of Meena Bazaar.

Well, flowers are no longer feminine but definitely flamboyant. Flower lover or not, if you are in a springy mood, florals are the way to go.

Flower power

FASHIONHOLICS rejoice! For, as we slip into that perfectly sprightly, springy mood, here’s reason enough to indulge our inner feminity. A chance, indeed, at bringing out our soft, sensuous selves. An occasion to charm everyone around with freshness and femme fizz. And all this by celebrating something that summer is essentially about – flowers. Wondering what to do? Just stock up on a few floaty dresses and watch the magic!

Of late, fashion’s gone blooming with celebs (Priety Zinta, Malaika Arora, Diya Mizra) strutting the high street in happy, bubbly floral motifs. Of course, these prints were big news last season, on the spring/summer catwalks appearing at Roberto Cavalli, Stella McCartney and Prada, but our fashion police predicts flowers will reign for another season to come. And city’s fashionistas nod in agreement, as they flaunt their latest finds:

“You’d have to have been on another planet to miss this spring trend that’s already made an enormous impact on the high street,” Saurav Lakhanpal from Shelly’s Wardrobe-8, cues us into the floral fashion. “Though baby doll dresses and tube tops with flowers are a rage, tunics and skirts flaunt big-sized roses and lilies too. In fact, flower accessories are doing really well. We’ve got neckpieces, danglers and handbags, all flaunting chunky flowers. However, flower shaped brooches in wool, satin, tissue and ribbons (Rs 100-150) remain the store’s USP and are “pounced upon”, as soon as they arrive at the store. Designer Payal Saboo stocks some interesting flower-patterns too, “There are clutches with cut-work in flower-motifs, wedges and ballerinas with satin flowers attached on them and hairbands with bold blossoms printed on them. And of course, flowers are everywhere in the apparel at Polka, from baby-doll dresses and skirts to shrugs and capris. The season’s flavour, however, is chunky and not tiny flowers.”

And it’s not just the chic western wear, upon which flowers are blooming merrily. Our indo-western is giving in to the floral seduction too. Breeze into Missprint and Suvasa-8 and get floored by the flowers smiling on kurtis, angrakhas, skirts, churidars and wraparounds.The tilt here is more towards paisleys and smaller flowers though. Informs Simeran Bains from Suvasa,“Prints of leaves and flowers mixed together stand out strongly and have been extensively used in our bright-hued wrap-arounds and skirts.”

Informs fashion stylist Vandana Worrell, “More women, especially younger ones, are keen to try on floral designs. Adds Raman from Waga-10, “Women want to look more feminine and girlish by wearing floral prints. After all, these prints have a cheerful and upbeat mood to them, which is just what fashion and looking fashionable is all about.” So if rosebuds, baby’s breath and tulips make you swoon, dig the picks we’ve fished out from the local fashion hubs just for you!

anandita@tribunemail.com 

Wear it RIGHT!

Follow these tips while choosing to wear floral prints for the right look:

n Ensure that floral prints do not overpower your body.
n Accentuate floral prints on a shirt by pairing them with simple plain slacks, a skirt or jeans, and vice-versa. You don’t want to look like upholstery!
n Avoid chunky flower motifs on fuller bodies as they tend to look overbearing. Big flowers are ideal for leaner, slimmer bodies and vice-versa.
n Women wearing florals should update the bohemian look with new accessories such as strappy heels or a thick embossed belt.
n If you do not want to completely flow with this trend, spruce up a normal outfit with simple flower accessories like a brooch or hairpin or belt.

Pretty Packaging
Learn modelling etiquette from Femina Miss India 
finalist Shriya Singh
Parbina Rashid

Photo by Parvesh Chauhan
Photo by Parvesh Chauhan

Standing at 5 feet 8 inches, Shriya Singh towers over most men in the room. But, height is not her only asset. This Chandigarh girl who became Gladrags runner-up, Miss Tourism International-2005 and then Femina Miss India finalist last year is now back as the director of newly-launched Storm Modelling and Finishing School-8.

The need for a training school has been long-felt in this region. This is what Shirya feels. “I was lucky to get groomed by Gladrags at the starting of my career. But when you are a newcomer, with only aspiration to guide you and no training, it becomes difficult to make the right decisions in the industry,” says Shriya, inaugurating the modeling school.

SMFS, short for Storm Modelling and Finishing School, will offer a four-week training module that would include personality development, corporate etiquette, ramp, television and still modeling and retail customer relationship management. The faculty includes names like Mohan Agashe, Udita Goswami, Umesh Kant and Harry Baweja.

Another thrust area of the academy is modelling for the kids. “There’s a vast scope for children in the modeling scene but unfortunately we do not know how to go about it. So we are targetting children above 4 to tap the kids’ zone,” she informs.

Mostly known as a ramp model, Shriya wants to continue on the ramp for the time being. “With my height, it is easy for me to get ramp shows.” And her favourite designer is Wendell Rodrigues. Because in the close circuit of designers where only big names matter, he is one designer who believes in giving newcomers a break.

Well, that gives us an opportunity to ask her about this ‘tops-falling-off-model’s-bodies’ trend which was started by Carol Gracias and has been followed up by Debbie this year at Wills Life Style Fashion Week!

“It’s not deliberate or a cheap publicity stunt for sure. As a model I know how maddening the back-stage scene is where one gets no more than 15 seconds to get into a new outfit without disturbing make-up or hairstyle. And with one designer hovering over at least 20 models, this sort of accident can happen.”

Well, it comes as quite a relief that the art of ‘falling off’ is not going to be an integral part of ramp modelling!

parbina@tribunemail.com

Summer Bazaar
A shopping experience worth savouring

How about feeling the romance in the air with fluttering gossamer fabrics, juicy hues, lush, delicious accessories, object d’ art and body-skimming essentials? After all, isn’t summer the perfect time to get drenched in a shower of flirty freshness? And who knows it’s better than the annual Vanity Fair at Whispering Willows, Zirakpur, the annual spring-summer exhibition that’s come calling to the town for the 8th time. A shopping experience gone ‘bigger and better’ than the last year, the exhibition boasts of more than 80 countrywide stalls! We swooped into the lil’ niches created here n’ there, meandered through the trees, stuffed our shopping bags and best of all, got a slice of our experience, just for you:

It was a long flight to a chronic shopaholic’s bliss. And happily, we hopped on and off all things lifestylish – fashion accessories, décor delights, paintings and photographs, designer wear, linen, garden dressings, artifacts, essential oils, books, pottery, wrappings and gold foiled jewellery. But here’s what left us totally floored. Photographs are a rage today, both nationally and internationally and city-based Gagan Sighu ensures you get your share. His stall Trikuti has everything from thematic (think landscapes, sunsets, black and whites) and abstract mounted photographs (Rs 1,000-2,500). And well, if you’re planning to flaunt these photographs in your lounge, you’d sure like to dress it up to. Check out chic lounge furniture in cane, leather and teak by Nikku Guron (Rs 5,000 onwards per piece). While lounging around, don’t forget to have your appetisers in unconventional ceramic pottery by Reshma Badhwar of Studio Pottery. While platters start at Rs 400, the 30-piece dinner set will cost you Rs 10,000!

If looking for granny’s embroidered linen, pick fine cross-stitch and needle-point cushions and table linen (along with crochet blankets and cotton-woven durries) by Kiran Grewal, who has adopted a few villages and is providing livelihood to the women by retailing their work. Don’t forget to check out Shyam Ahuja’s durries, cotton bedspreads and cushions. For all our young gals, there are tantalising tunics by Mona Chahal in screen prints and funky motifs (Rs 1,000-3,500). Your erogenous feet beckon adornment? Add a smidgen of eccentricity to your look with a wide range of Swarovsky embellished footwear by Camala (Rs 1,250-1,850). Also grab the Mumbai-based studio’s clutch bags in satin and suede and let springtime go sultry!

And while you browse, don’t forget to binge on some beer, wine and barbeque, along with thin-crust pizzas, served hot from a wood-fired oven. “The emphasis this time is on home décor and furniture. Also we have this concept of a random flee market under the trees, called the Willow Bazaar,” beamed organiser of the event Priya Jagat.

Concludes today

Little Interview
Hey Sajid!
Our ‘funny guy’ is all set to serve a romantic comedy yet again
Parbina Rashid

Guess what? It’s Sajid versus Sajid once again. Yes, the Heyy Babyy guy Sajid Khan has teamed up with his favourite producer Sajid Nadiadwala for his upcoming untitled film. And he’s quite excited about it. He has a reason to be. His debut Heyy Babyy, after all, has been rated among the top ten Bollywood profit makers. And his excitement spills over the telephonic chat we have with our funny man!

n Who is the real Sajid — the comedian, the writer or the director who delivers hits like Heyy Babyy?

Actually what lies beneath is a very serious person.

n Want to tell us about him?

No, that’s the personal side, which I want kept hidden from the public.

n So, what about the new film?

I have already written the script. Have finalised Akshay Kumar for one of the lead roles. It’s a romantic comedy and has three heroines.

n When is it likely to hit the theatres?

It will take at least one year to complete the film.

n How does it feel to judge a reality show?

Judging the contestants of Champion Chalbaaz No 1 for Sony is great fun. This is a show in which judges are much more fun to watch than the contestants.

n Your take on Vidya Balan’s comment that she trusted your judgment when she turned up at Filmfare Award functions wearing what she did for which she was given the Na-real Award?

As a director of the film, I accept the award with grace. 

Matka Chowk
Reach out
Sreedhara Bhasin

A lot of these new-fangled self-help books are full of these one liners – ‘Practise random acts of kindness’, ‘Smile – it is free’, ‘Reach out – it is good for your soul’. We spend our hard-earned money to buy these books. Soon, they repose on our bookshelves and gather dust.

Somehow, we often discount random acts of kindness we receive from total strangers. We only remember the enormous favours and not the small tokens of kindness. I have resolved to take notes going forward. Our city is full of kind people. They offer silent help without any expectation of acknowledgement.

I have always nursed a poor opinion of the travel agency folks here. I thought of them as an overworked bunch – they often slip up badly and tell the truth once you have already shelled out the money. I happened to be in one such office lately – in a very distraught state. They took note of my state, helped me, gave me reassurance and a feeling that they cared. I am ready to trade efficiency for care.

People who give us unsolicited advice are often called ‘busybodies’. Somehow we fail to see any benevolence in them. An old man saw me drinking coke outside a store a long time ago and came up to me and said ‘Aap to padhe-likhhe dikhte ho. Phir yeh zehr kyon pee rahe ho?” He caught me by surprise and I failed to be receptive to his very apt advice. After the pesticide brouhaha erupted and we all stopped drinking coke for a while – I often thought of that old man, specially while watching Aamir Khan vouching for coke safety on TV. I have mended my drinking habit. Thanks to a busybody.

I have received kindness in many forms and sizes from the people of Chandigarh. I have had very kind teachers taking the time and effort to talk to an anxious and slightly annoying mother, trying hard to settle her child in a new school and a system. I have had perfect strangers maneouver my car out of impossible spots. I have had parking attendants help me with a punctured tyre. I have had older residents give me advice and support in pursuing a new life in this city.

Just like every birthday is a gift – every act of kindness we receive is a gift. In many bigger cities kindness is an extinct word. Helping older people with their bags and giving up your seat to let another older person sit is outdated. But, Chandigarh is still a kind city. In our outrage over intransigent rickshaw-wallas and spiraling vegetable prices, we often tend to forget that.

Next time, someone stops to let you pass – say a silent thank you.

(This column appears weekly)

Play by the rules
Punjabi lyricists & music composers need to wake up to their right to royalty

Here’s an opportunity for any lyricist, composer or song publisher to get a royalty for their volume of work. All one has to do is shell out Rs 500 and become a member of the Indian Performing Right Society Limited.

And to believe Kunal Sarin, senior general manager of the IPRS, people related to the music industry can really benefit from it. “But unfortunately only a handful of artistes from Punjab are our members,” says Sarin. Hence, is the awareness drive by the society that distributed royalties to their eight members from the city at the Press Club on Friday. Royalty given by the IPRS continues up to 60 years, even after the death of the member.

Sarin informs us that now, there’s a law against those who play music without a license. Well, it is not for individuals but all users of music, including radio stations, television stations, hotels, restaurants, clubs, pubs, discothèques and all commercial premises etc, that need to obtain a license for public performance whenever they broadcast, perform or play these literary and musical works. The license must be obtained prior to the event/broadcast, else it is a violation of the Copyright Act, 1957.

The credit goes to the IPRS, which secured an order against the FH&RAI and members of the federation on December 28 last year from the Delhi High Court, restricting them from playing music without obtaining a license from the IPRS. FH&RAI is the federation of all the major Hotels in India like, Taj, ITC, Oberoi’s, Intercontinental, Hyatt, and many more. This order technically means that the members of the federation would have to obtain a license to play any song or hold any live performance. This order comes as a warning to all such establishments operating without a license that they are not above the law, and they will not be allowed to continue functioning!

For the uninitiated, the IPRS is a non-profit making company, authorised under Section 33 of the Copyright Act 1957, to operate as a copyright society for musical and literary works performed along with the musical works. It is a body that has more than 1,500 members who are composers, lyric writers and publishers and also represent International Music.

According to CEO, IPRS, Rakesh Nigam “The consumption of entertainment is changing and so will the earning pattern. Newer forms of entertainment need to compensate copyright owners and the creators adequately. Such ruling will set the correct benchmark.” — TNS 

Fashion Feast

SStudio SStrings, a Noida-based fashion house, brings an imported lingerie line for women from Bangkok and Malaysia. Meena, who represents the fashion house has held exhibitions here earlier and brings fashion accessories like bags, shoes, belts, sunglasses and make-up kits to give her clients a complete shopping experience.

This year too, her exhibition at Hotel Aroma-22 offers a variety of Indo-western formal and semi-formal dresses in cotton and lycra cotton. Her tunics start from Rs 160 onwards and suits from Rs 600, to Rs 1,000. The inners start from Rs 35. Her trousseau collection is available for Rs 1,100m andnightwear collection for Rs 250- 1,100.

On till March 16 — TNS

First Day First Show
Law & its flaws
Rajiv Kaplish

Michael Clayton
watchable
THERE is cinema beyond Ocean’s movies, seems to be the refrain of George Clooney who, of late, has started acting in movies that have substance and sensitivity. Syriana and Good Night, Good Luck and now Michael Clayton. The charismatic actor is the main protagonist in the racy thriller that lays bare the lows of high business with utter conviction.

An in-house “fixer” at one of America’s biggest law films, Michael Clayton (Clooney) has an aura that prompts some people to assume that he is a “miracle worker”. His brother calls him “a lawyer among cops and a cop among lawyers”. However, Clayton prefers to call himself a “janitor” — someone who has to do a lot of cleaning up behind-the-scenes to protect the interests of the high- profile clients of his firm and ensure that they win at any cost.

But while he fixes the problems of others, his personal life becomes more and more complicated. He is a lone parent, is about to lose a restaurant he opened as a side business, desperately needs money and has two estranged brothers — one a growling cop and the other an ex-junkie. He also has to contend with his cynical boss (a role played with panache by Sydney Pollack).

To top it all, he has to deal with the mess created by the firm’s attorney and his friend, Arthur Eden’s (Tom Wilkinson), who has a nervous breakdown while defending a corporation that has been sued for pollution. The more Clooney discovers about the case, the more he becomes aware of the sinister designs of his client and its chief counsel, Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton), who, in her bid to find her foothold, can go to any lengths, even order a killing, which she eventually does.

Tom Wilkinson who had decided to heed the call of his conscience and was about to blow the whistle is bumped off. Clooney who is having pangs of his conscience after the slaying of his mentor is also targeted. Surviving the assassination attempt (his car is blown up),the “janitor” becomes a rebel. The hunted is the hunter now and it won’t be long before he exposes the misdeeds of the corporation and bring the guilty to justice.

Since the scriptwriter of the Bourne series, Tony Gilroy, is the director of Michael.., it’s main character is reminiscent of Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne, the renegade agent on the run in the trilogy. Determined to display his wide range of skills, Clooney makes a delectable insider-turned-crusader. The scene is which he confronts Swinton with evidence against the corporation is a veritable treat. Though Swinton, Pollack and Wilkinson play their roles with aplomb, it won’t be an exaggeration to say that the show belongs to Clooney.

Showing at: Fun Republic 

A frothy chick-flick

27 Dresses
watchable
JANE (Katherine) has always been good at taking care of others, but not so much in looking after herself. Her entire life has been about making people happy – and she has a closet full of 27 bridesmaid dresses to prove it. One memorable evening, Jane manages to shuttle between wedding receptions in Manhattan and Brooklyn, a feat witnessed by Kevin Marsden, a newspaper reporter who realises that a story about this wedding junkie is his ticket off the newspaper’s bridal beat.

Jane finds Kevin’s cynicism counter to everything she holds dear – namely weddings, and the two lock horns. Further complicating Jane’s once perfectly-ordered life is the arrival of younger sister Tess. Tess immediately captures the heart of Jane’s boss, George. Tess enlists her always-accommodating sister to plan yet another wedding – Tess and George’s – but Jane’s feelings for him lead to shocking revelations…and maybe the beginning of a new life.

There’s not a surprising moment in the romantic comedy yet it works inspite of the stale, insipid storyline. That has a lot to do with lead actress Katherine Heigl and a little to do with the glowing embers between her and Marsden. The flick is like one of the many bridesmaid dresses featured in the film — frothy, predictable and over the top. It will work best for people who have never seen a romantic comedy. If you have, you might find it amusing to tally up the “homages”.

As the director, Anne Fletcher, methodically cuts back and forth between two weddings, she makes the reasonably insightful, moderately funny point that modern American weddings, however they may strain for individuality and specialness, are all pretty much alike. The problem is that much the same could be said about modern American romantic comedies.

Marsden’s natural charisma is totally wasted in an unlikable role, while Burns doesn’t even try to hide his boredom. A chick-flick on a sugar high, so giggly-bouncy and nostalgic for the fantasy-girlhood of its audience that the DVD should come packaged in big pink bows and include a coupon for a free pony ride! — TNS

Showing at: Fun Republic

Write to Renee

at lifestyletribune@gmail.com or Life Style, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chd

n I am a 32-year-old single mom. I gota divorce 5 years back and have a 9-year-old son. Recently, I’ve found someone I want to spend my life with. My son does have a liking towards him and we have decided to get married. My fiancé has just been transferred to Dubai. The problem is my son doesn’t want to move out of India. I am in a dilemma. Should I leave him here with my parents or should I take him along despite his protests. I feel this man is the right man but is it worth allowing my son to suffer emotionally? Or should I sacrifice this relationship?

Ritika, Chandigarh

Well, your first priority should be your child. He has already gone through a lot because of your divorce. If you are now considering putting him through an even more traumatic separation with his only parent, just don’t. I don’t think any child at this tender age needs to suffer so much emotionally. Being a parent means a lot of sacrifice. On the other hand, you could ask your fiancé to do a bit of compromise. If he really cares for you, he will try and find a job closer home, at least within this own country. Why must you give up on your happiness? Try to work it out in a way that you can have it all. If your fiancé finds a job here, perhaps you all can move out to seek better horizon when your son is older.

n I am a 28, got married an year back, but we don’t get along well. He always prefers his friends to me. I am ready to adjust, but he seems ready to leave me in any condition and at any time, if his friends need him. Moreover, there is no limit to the number of friends. I feel insecure and depressed all the time. We are working and living alone. I can neither leave him nor can I continue, but I have to think of my parents. I am writing to you after talking to my parents and in-laws. Nothing has helped.

Priya, Chandigarh

Take heart. There is no such problem in the world that doesn’t have a solution. Just stop giving him insecure vibes. At least pretend for a while that you are all in control. He will take notice. Also, do invite some common friends over every other evening so that it becomes a group that moves together. Treat him with a lot of love and affection. Make him feel important by by giving adequate importance to his friends. You can plan a party for his friends. Try making plans for movies or theatre for just the two of you. Remember, he is an insecure man with a low self-esteem and that is why, he is giving so much in importance to his so called friends. Make him feel indispensable in your life. This will definitely show positive results.

n I am 26 and seeing a man for the past two years. The moment he mentions marriage, I want to run away. I gave up on another relationship before this. I am terrified of marriage. Commitment makes me shaky. My parents separated when I was young and I saw my mother suffering over the years. I do not see much sense in marriage as my brother and me went through a painful childhood. My friends are advising me to get married but I feel life is better this way. Now, I feel pushed against the corner as my boyfriend is threatening to leave me if I don’t agree to marry him within six months. I don’t want to live without him, what do I do?

Harmala Sekhon, Patiala

Just because you are the product of a dysfunctional marriage, it doesn’t mean that your partner also has to endure the aftereffects of your childhood. There are a whole lot of women and men like you but they are all wearing emotional masks. Why are we terrified of discovering that it takes both the partners to make a relationship work. So, don’t take unnecessary responsibility. Try to take on only as much as you can handle. We have a lot of choices these days. One has to get grounded somewhere within and allow the world to spin around us. In fact, when you are ina steady relationship, you will sense a level of calm within you. Go ahead and take the plunge. I assure you, you will not regret it. Most kids from dysfunctional families make great marriages. So allow yourself the pleasure. May God be with you. 

Health tip

Osteoporosis is characterised by either low bone mass or inadequate accumulation of bone tissue during growth and excessive loss thereafter. It can cause fracture of the wrist, spine or hipbones. Primary osteoporosis is due to aging and is post-menopausal. Secondary osteoporosis can be due to long term use of steroids, cigarette smoking, increased alcohol intake, chronic kidney, lung and liver disorders. Women are more likely to suffer from osteoporosis as they have light, thinner bones Certain conditions like low body weight, long period of inactivity also aggravate this condition.

Treatment: Intake of milk, cheese, yogurt and dark green vegetables is helpful. Take around 500-1200 mg. of Calcium with vitamin-D daily.

Exercises: Brisk walking, jogging and Racquet sports are ideal weight bearing exercises with minimum risk of injury. Weight training exercises are recommended every 3rd day. Stretch Band is an excellent tool for strength training for elderly as the risk of injury is minimised.

— Dr Ravinder Chadha





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