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Bye, see you next week! She is the perfect daughter-in-law and he the perfect son-in-law. There is not a single wedding or a family dinner that the couple misses. Each year they go out for a holiday, also they party together on weekends. And, on rest of the days they live their own lives. Married, yet separate, they are happy to be bound, not tied, in a relation. They are the weekend couples (read - they meet each other only on weekends and other family occasions). And, mind you, the duo is content with the arrangement. After all, it suits them both. Be it for career, love, freedom, space or just a short break for a while, Gen-Y couples seem to have found the secret of a happy married life in separation. We speak to a few of city’s married couples, who return to ‘their’ homes and spouses only on weekends (names changed on request). Sumit and Neha fell in love while attending lectures at the university. Neha was Sumit’s senior (six years) and while he pursued his graduation, she did her PhD. Soon after, they tied the knot and later decided to stay separately. Sumit works in a city BPO and Neha teaches at a college in Ambala, they travel to each other’s place on alternative weekends. Says Neha, “I am happy and don’t regret my decision. I was sure of two things, one that Sumit was the right person for me and two, that he’ll need his space to grow and I’ll need mine to accept it.” Chips in Sumit, “And so here we are, it would have been impossible for me to suddenly stop attending parties and fun, just because I got married.” Okie, now came in between (not really, they say) this next couple is not the age gap, but the work pressure. The duo, Smriti and Gaurav, had their deadlines and targets to meet and after a year of their marriage they realised that the little interaction they had revolved around baseless blame games. “We felt the need for space, so I took a transfer and it worked,” tells Gaurav who works in Gurgaon today. Three years of catching the Shatabdi every Friday evening to meet Smriti here, the couple is not thinking about togetherness as of now. “We understand each other’s work and feel so much better now,” says the wifey. Similar is the situation for this couple. Professionally settled, they married six months back, but confess of not being mentally prepared for the same. So, today they are looking for options to part ways, not literally though. They reason, “It will make us realise each other’s value.” Now, this one might smell of betrayal to some of us, but it’s keeping Vikram and Megha happy. Megha works in an MNC here and her husband in Ludhiana. Megha was not keen to leave behind her city buddies (including a guy, an ex-love interest) so she stayed on. “I spend time with my friends on weekdays,” she tells. And, well this special arrangement ends May next year i.e. till her project completes. “That’s fine, I’ll return home then, it’s not that I don’t love Vikram” she sighs. As for leaving behind ‘him’, she is not thinking about it right now. But, can’t all this happen staying together? We ask them. “No” they reply in unison. Ask them why, and they question back, “Isn’t it better to spend two complete days together, rather than complain of lack of time or attention on all seven days?” And, what once they start a family? Will kids too be rolling across for their parents’ sake? We ask. Well, they are not thinking about that, after all its living life one day at a time that rules with
Gen-Y.
purva@tribunemail.com |
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Triple
Scoop It’s practically raining stars these days. If Kareena Kapoor and Yana Gupta took our breathe away other day at ICL function, today it was the turn of Dia Mirza, Mausumi Udeshi and our homegrown star Jimmy Shergill to give us darshan at a jewellery store. Now if you ask what is the connection between the ol’ humble Gitanjali store at Sector 22 and the stars, our answer will be Dus Kahaniyaan. If you are still confused, then let us explain — all three are part of this Sanjay Gupta directed-produced flick, which is awaiting its release shortly. And yes, quite a few actors in the film donned Gitanjali’s jewellery. As the ‘three musketeers’ enters the venue, we look for a leader to steer the conversation and Jimmy Shergill comes to our rescue. “Let’s start with Dus Kahaniyaan,” he says and we agree. “Our film is called High on the Highway and it is actually our film — mine and Mausumi’s,” he says pointing to the lady sitting to his right. “It is about two people who love to drive on the highway after getting high and compare their philosophy of life with that of moving trucks,” he elaborates. “And to know the end you will have to watch the film.” Right. So next we turn to Dia, looking her usual delicate-self in a yellow top and a pair of denims . “God I thought you will never ask me. This is what happens when you come with a local boy,” she humour us. Her film in Dus Kahaniyaan is called Zahir and she plays the character called Sia opposite Manoj Bajpai. “The story is about shattering illusions and it does have a social message,” she says. And social messages do grab our pretty lady who has been involved with issues like Narmada Bachao Andolan. “Yes, as a responsible citizen I like to do my bit for the society,” she reinforces. How about experimental cinema like Dus Kahaniyaan that has ten short stories which do not connect with each other. “During my six year-stint I have seen the industry mature. This is the right time to experiment for the audience is ripe enough to except the off-beat,” says Dia as her parting shot. And if you are willing to catch her in other than Dus... then look out for films like Ali Bagh and Bits and Pieces. And for Jimmy, his flick Strangers will be released this month and a couple of Punjabi flicks too are are in the stage of finalisation. So long!
parbina@tribunemail.com |
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First Day First Show Maqbool F. Husain is fida over her husn. So much so that he booked an auditorium in Dubai for a special show of her movie —Aaja Nachle. Activists of a party held a procession in a city heralding the release of her new film. Mayawati went ballistic at a song in the musical and pulled it out of theatres in Uttar Pradesh. She later lifted the ban following an assurance by the makers that the offending line would be deleted. Punjab too has banned its screening. Who else but Madhuri can evoke such strong emotions? Whether you like her or hate her, it is difficult to ignore the dancing diva. Even if the story of her comeback venture is quite pedestrian and traces the journey of a choreographer who elopes to New York with her photographer boyfriend from her home town Shamli and returns to her roots to save her dying teacher’s dance school from being razed for a shopping mall. Agreed that Bollywood is bubbling over with reincarnations and resurrections. OSO harped on rebirth and Goal focused on the resurrection of a football club. The premise of Aaja Nachle is also not very different and is about the revival of the dying art of folk dance and theatre. But the dhak dhak girl fills the screen with her luminosity. Her smile is still infections and emoting strong. Once her rhythmic gyrations begin, the predictability of the theme pales into insignificance and the slow pace is accelerated. Missing is the mandatory designer touch of Yash Raj Films. No more exotic foreign locales, larger-than-life characters or flashy costumes that turned out to be the bane of Ta Ra.... and Laaga Chunari.... In its place is a simple narrative of the trials and tribulations of ordinary human beings. Madhuri’s encounters with Akshaye Khanna, playing an MP, who wants to build a shopping mall in place of her ramshackle Ajanta Theatre, are lively. Besides Madhuri, it is Konkana Sen Sharma who impresses you the most with her spontaneity and cheerfulness. Kunal Kapoor seems to be in perpetual awe of Konkana. Before Laaga.... was released, he had told an interviewer that he forgot everything the moment he enacted a scene with her. On the eve of the release of Aaja... he echoed the same sentiments. You can imagine what would have happened to him when he acted opposite not one but two spontaneous actresses i.e. Konkana and Madhuri. Ranvir Shorey and Vinay Pathak, portraying a tea stall vendor and a government official, respectively, who facilitate the enactment of Madhuri’s theatrical production, Laila Majnu, impress in their cameos. Sushmita Mukherjee as Pathak’s nagging wife is hilarious. Raghubir Yadav as the local doctor helping Madhuri is boring. Divya Dutta who plays Madhuri’s childhood friend and Irfan Khan as her scheming contractor-husband have insignificant roles. The song-and-dance show in the climax though visually opulent is too long. Aaja Nachle and another song have the potential of becoming hugely popular. It’s an out-and-out Madhuri film. Little doubt, therefore, that when an interviewer quizzed Anil Mehta about the male lead, the debutant director calmly said Madhuri was the hero of the film. Showing at:
Piccadily, |
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Essence of
the dunes The diverse strains of creativity, exhibited at the Government Museum-10, in the paintings of 17 accomplished maestros from Rajasthan, while stamping their versatility in the realm, exude their mitti ki khushboo in ample measure and fascinating colours. Every piece in the bonanza, a collection of over 50 art pieces in variegated mediums that has been brought to the city by collaborative efforts of Lalit Kala Akademies of Rajasthan and Delhi, British Council and Association of British Scholars of Jaipur and Chandigarh chapter, vies for viewers recognition with spontaneous appeal. The exhibits redolent with thematic essence of the sand dunes and rich folk culture, rooted in the old and living traditions of Rajasthan are adorned with the skill and technical virtuosity of UK standards. As the name of the exhibition, An Artistic Journey from Rajasthan to UK, suggests, all participating artists have undergone advanced training in UK on scholarships, held workshops, exhibited their works in England or India and won laurels and awards, says Vinay Sharma, a participating artist. Archana Joshi delves deep in the cosmos world in search of her earth while Lalit Sharma depicts the tribal life and blessed carefree childhood in watercolours and tempra. Enlivening the past family memoirs and legacy, Vinay Sharma establishes a bond of reverence, by resurrecting the old post cards dating back to 1903 with dexterous artistry. Shail Chogyal creates the magic with soul enriching musical strains of the divine Lord Krishna enrapturing one and all. Suneet Ghildial had complimented his artistry in woodwork with immaculate application of colours in mixed media in his series Time and Life. Meena Baya recaptures the childhood memories in acrylic on canvas while Indu Singh delineates Womanhood in all its manifestations. Art works by Bhupesh Kapadia, Usha Rani and Harshiv Sharma are obsessed with abstract themes and fine blend of colours while Ram Avtar Soni captures nature in his works besides buildings. Relying upon the mythological theme K. Samadar Sagar displays his artistry in tempera. Shahid Parvez makes an aesthetic statement with Chashmish in mix media on paper. Besides Dilip Singh Chauhan, Surendra Pal Joshi, Vidya Sagar and Vinay Sharma, others displayed their creative versatility in the realm of painting. On till
tomorrow
lifestyletribune@gmail.com |
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Prefer coffee over a good night’s sleep for that daily jolt might land you in trouble, for a new study shows that having caffeine for boosting energy might mask serious sleep problems. The study stated that energy, which a person gets from caffeine, could be derived from night’s sleep. Heavy doses of caffeine, i.e. about four to seven cups of coffee, causes difficulty in sleeping, increases heart rate, causes muscle tremors, and headaches. Doctors recommend drinking not more than 200 milligrams a day. Transfusion unsafe
A study shows that blood transfusions lead to more surgery complications in women than men. After a heart surgery, women die and get infections more often than men, because they are susceptible to receiving more blood transfusions, which in turn boost the risks of bad outcomes. In the current study researchers analysed the data of 380 adult patients who had bypass surgery or valve replacement or both. 60 percent of the patients were men and about 40 percent were women. Damaging Ecstasy
A study has revealed that using club drugs like Ecstasy is equivalent in impact to a traumatic brain injury. In the brain, club drugs set off a chain of events that injures brain cells. The drugs seem damaging to certain proteins in the brain, which causes protein levels to fluctuate. When proteins are damaged, brain cells could die.
— ANI |
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Write to Renee
* I am a 37-year-old woman. I recently met an old boy friend after 19 years with whom I had a steady relationship during college but my family forced me into marriage with a boy of the same caste. Though my husband and me have two daughters there is no emotional or mental compatibility. I am living a life of compromises. I was in Mumbai with my husband but now I live here with my parents. My ex is also divorced and he thinks we should get together again. I am afraid of my daughters and families reactions. What should I do?
Romi Madan, Dear count yourself blessed that God is giving you another chance to live life on your terms. Have the confidence and the courage to be that way. If you keep worrying about the world you will continue to live a life of compromises. Try to step out of the box of fear you are living in. If you accept yourself the world will accept you anyway. Even your daughters will be happy if you are happy as only then will you be able to give them love and attention. Take your chance and get on the road to life and living. *
I am a 24-year-old boy and am very low on confidence. I am doing a professional course but whenever I am with friends or even juniors I feel very intimidated and always at a loss of words. I feel everyone is better than me. I have always been a good student and should have no reason to behave like this but no amount of telling myself works. May be it comes from my father who has been a depressed man all his life. My parents did not have a happy relationship. Please help. Jaswant Singh
Karnal I appreciate that you do have some understanding of your problem. The setbacks, emotional and psychological disorders we suffer from as grown-ups have their roots in our childhood. So yes if your father has been a depressive it would affect your level of confidence as every boy subconsciously emulates his father. I suggest you see a counselor, but in the meantime help yourself by repeating this mantra ‘I am a child of God and I am the best at whatever I do.’ You will see your levels of confidence rise. Have faith in your abilities. If you appear lacking in confidence people will treat you that way. Be confident, respect yourself , and others will learn to respect you. *
I am in a relationship with a woman from my office since 10 years. We are both married and have never felt the need to change our lives. We are just friends with no commitments, she is considerate to my feelings and we have maintained a healthy relationship. Now, her husband has got transferred to Mumbai and she is also planning to move. My whole world is changing. I am extremely hurt, as I had counted on her for always being around. I think she had hidden her husband’s transfer from me. I am going through lot of emotional turmoil. Please help. Ankit Malhotra
Nahan
You are being unreasonable in your present situation. Friendships are important and valuable relationships and we all have a certain level of emotional dependency on our friends. But you seem to be rather confused between a genuine friendship and something more. Friendships are a matter of choice unlike other relationships, which we are either born into or pushed into. You cannot blame your friend for moving out as her marriage and family are definitely going to be her first priority. Her not telling you about her move means she wanted to spare your feelings. Do not confuse friendship with romantic love. Friendship will always remain. You need to balance yourself. Time will slowly heal your hurt. |
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Here’s the star The press invite required us to reach at the venue — Punjab Kala Bhawan at 1 p.m. on Saturday. The occasion was felicitation of Ishmeet Singh, the winner of Star Voice of India, and we were bang on time and so was Hira Singh Ghabra, Punjab’s cultural affairs minister, who was there to honour him. But, our wait for the ‘star’ had just begun. His cavalcade. arrived an hour late. Mobbed by fans (literally), patiently posing for our shutterbugs, signing autographs for the children and singing.Jab se tere naina, for us,was enough to strenghten our belief that it was not just Ishmeet and his family who was praying hard for his win but the entire North Zone. The function began and he expressed his gratitude to the people of Punjab for making him the winner. He was presented with a siropa and a sword at the function organised by Big Music and Home Entertainment, who have also presented him with a three-year contract. The celebrations continued later in the day with Ishmeet being facilitated at Ethos -8. So what’s in future for apna Punjab ka puttar?( as he was oft referred on the show)? “Offers are pouring in from both Hindi and Punjabi directors, Uttam Singh being one of them,” he says. As for his commitment to promoting Punjabi culture, he says, “I will be recording gurbani in Ludhiana on December 4- 5 and rest it will be playback singing that I will focus on,” he asserts. And as for his album, we’ll have to wait till December end. Besides playback, the singing sensation says he will learn classical music too. “I will be learning the nuances of classical music from Anand Sharma,”he says. And, as for pursuing his B.Com that he left midway for the show, he’ll be continuing with that too. That sounds exciting. Ask him how much has his world changed ever since he won the title and he says, “It has been an amazing journey since the beginning. My confidence level has definitely gone higher and now singing in front of a big audience comes easy to me.” And well, its not just us, Indians here, who have transformed into his fans, our NRI brothers too are in the line. Says Ishmeet who went on air with an interview on Canada FM on Friday night, “The people,especially children went crazy over the phone as they talked to me. Such international popularity is keeping my spirits high,” he says. And, what’s more the kids there want to copy the style of his turban too. Now, imitation is the best form of appreciation. Isn’t it? Fan following apart, it’s the memorable moments during the show that are special for him .“I met Lata ji thrice in just one month and the meeting would always be one of the most treasured moments of my life,” he signs off.
aneesha@tribunemail.com |
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Balle balle
with the band The town’s best bandwala is roped in. Gaudily dressed men (gaudier the better) provide all the frills like the lights, fireworks, flower sprays and a ghodi. This custom reduced to a mere formality now started ages back when the ghodi would be locked in a dark room days before the wedding and brought outside only on the day of the wedding. Deafening firecrackers and music would be played to make the horse loose control and the challenge for the groom would be to control and ride the horse. Interestingly, riding it would prove the groom’s ability to control a woman. Dressed in a velvet saaj intricately embroidered with sequins, stones, gotta and kinari and an equally embellished neck, eye and tailpiece, the adorned ghodi comes for anything between Rs 60,000 and one lakh. Also, it comes with a dressy heavily decked chattar (umbrella). However, a groom enjoys only a couple of moments on the horse for he sits atop it just a few meters away from the venue to fulfill the tradition. Says Sharan Kannaujia of Disco Brass Bands, “It is less about traditions today, and more to do with convenience and saving time. The weddings are held in banquet halls and the doli is taken in a dressed car. Ghodi and palki are used to just pose for pictures.” Playing the band are band players dressed in shiny red or blue velvet dresses and bright expensive turla hats or British caps. Punctual and disciplined, they are in tune with the demands of this growing business. But, what they play the most is music of the yesteryears. Ask Micky Brass Band owner Raj Nagpal why old songs still rule at weddings and he says, “These are evergreen numbers. The new songs have a short shelf life and fade away in no time.” Now, don’t they say old is gold. His band has played for city’s elite including justice N.K. Sodhi, ex-minister Haryana Venod Sharma, judge N. L. Jindal and several other businessmen. With no pre-decided playlist the bandmaster is just like the DJ who plays songs as per the tempo of the crowd. “We starts with popular numbers and take a hint from there. The song that generates more energy is played again and again”, reflects bandmaster Subhash. And, be it the old or Gen Y, the crowd swings to old songs like Ae meri zohra zabeen, Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai, Baharon phool barsao and even Yeh desh hai veer jawano ka. Tequila is another number that instantly peps the drunk baraatis and enthuses them to do their funny snake dances or the high-energy balle balle. And, what’s more the on-the-spot requests too include energy-packed old dance numbers like Tootak tootak tutiyaan. Le jayenge le jayenge is a hot fave and is usually played when the baraat reaches the venue. The new numbers that have found place in the shaadi playlist and are keeping the tempo live include Kajra re, Dupatta tera nau rang da and
Dard-e-Disco. |
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Matka Chowk
Some
years ago when I visited Delhi, everyone talked about how polluted the city was from vehicular emissions. The halo that hung on the street lamps at night was considered low-lying toxic substances. In Calcutta, we joked that the sight of our bare lungs would frighten the stethoscope off any western doctor, for, they must be a color of charcoal black from all the air pollution! On her first time car ride in the city my daughter said: “Mom, the traffic smells so much better here!” True, my jaded nose could not pick up much of diesel fumes or petrol emissions. We could actually roll down the car window and feel some real air outside. We did not see a single traffic cop wearing a surgical mask as we have seen in some cities. We did not break out in huge fits if sneezing or rubbed our eyes till our pupils hurt. Days passed and we were getting used to this new air wave, till my daughter spotted a blue auto. “Do we have autos now in Chandigarh?” I quizzed others and was much dismayed to hear their answer. “But, these are the biggest environmental culprits? Have you all seen how these belch diesel smoke?” “Yes, we know – but, what can be done! there are too many people in Chandigarh now. We need more modes of transportation!” “But, what about the environment!” I pleaded. “Why! we have clean air here - folks like you from metros worry too much! “ Next we saw the announcement that there would be AC taxis in Chandigarh. “Do these run on diesel?” I asked others. “What difference does it make?” They said. “Now, we will not be stuck at the station if the driver runs away to Dera Bassi.” Right, we needed to transport more people to more places. When it looked like the car to tree ratio was getting skewed, I again expressed concern – “You are concerned about the trees? Have you ever seen a city as green as Chandigarh?” they told me. I swallowed hard when I read about the proposed astro-turf jogging track at Suhkna Lake. Now the peril is extending its treacherous limbs into one of my most cherished territories. I stood up when I read about the proposed glass restaurant and the most astounding one – starting horse carriages for fun between Sukhna Lake and the Rock Garden! Horses, I thought! Why use them to transport weekend frolickers? Why not use them to replace the autos? But, then weddings are being held in the Rock Garden now. We would surely need a ghori for the groom! How are we going to escape this new brand of progress? |
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Bye-bye Hollywood?
Pamela Anderson has claimed that by 2012 she will abandon Hollywood and head back to her native British Columbia. Said the Baywatch babe that in a matter of five years she would leave the entertainment biz and go back to Canada and spend time with her sons with ex-hubby Tommy Lee. Also, fulfill her desire to remain idle. “I get offers to do movies and TV all the time. I say no to everything. I’m lazy. I don’t want to work. I want to be with my kids. So, I just fly in from L.A., do a few days of shows and go back home,” she said. As for her kids, the 40-year-old said that both her sons are scared of her new hubby Rick Salomon, with whom she tied the knot in October during intermission between two magic shows. “My kids, they’re kind of scared of him because he might make them disappear,” she said.
—ANI |
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Childhood robbed? It’s admission time in schools. Looking at the elaborate procedure of various kindergartens, who says competition begins after class XII? Most reputed schools interview both the child and parents. Of course, it’s called a “mild interaction” between the parents and management after the Supreme Court banned interviews.
But what actually goes on behind closed doors is different — children are made to solve puzzles, recite poems, recognise shapes, watch slides, answer questions and show etiquette. Some schools even make parents fill up registration forms and asked questions like why do you want to educate your child. They are required to mention their own educational qualifications and submit a child’s birth certificate with his or her name on it, which, of course, means numerous rounds of a sarkari office. The criteria Does it imply that schools select children on the basis of their parentage? Apparently, they don’t want children of uneducated parents but those from wealthy families, who can pay building and auditorium funds are welcome. The “mild interaction” also requires special training. Several preparatory institutes have sprung up in and around town to groom children and their parents. Whereas grooming sessions for the child include training in shapes, colours, rhymes and basic manners, parents are taught school-specific conduct — what to wear, how to address members on the panel, whether to look sophisticated or to down play your wardrobe. Expertspeak It often starts with parents wanting their kids to be “better” than others. If the neighbour’s child can rattle two nursery rhymes, mine has to know four. That the meaning and message is lost in mugging the rhyme doesn’t really matter. “Parents these days have become very competitive. They have highflying aspirations and sometimes, their own incompetence and failures, makes them put undue pressure on children to excel. And such hyper parents start as early as pre-nursery,” says city psychologist Rajshree Sharda. Parents are not ready to accept failure of their children and the fear of rejection plays on their minds far more than it plays on the ignorant child’s mind. The child’s school becomes a subject of drawing room conversation and parents love to show-off and brag about it. And this show-off campaign ends at the psychologist’s door when the parents come looking for help for the child, “who was performing fine till class V but then his grades dipped.” “What the parents don’t realise is that the child was performing well till he could be controlled by the parents. The moment the child develops a mind of his own, he rebels and tries to break free,” explains Rajshree. In extreme cases, the child can pick up bad habits and most such kids end up as confused personalities, she warns. “By the time the child breaks free and realises his passion, he is in the wrong profession,” she shares. Alternate education But all’s not lost. Some city schools do provide path-breaking teaching without grilling the kids and parents. A simple filling of the registration form and a lottery draw or a first-come-first-serve is all it takes. These schools allow the children to explore their personality and improve their social skills. They are groomed with creativity; they enact, recite and remain busy in an I’m M.F. Hussain drawing competition or what I did over the weekend extempore or in story telling. At the annual function all kids go on stage. These schools have a child-specific programme and feel it is the school’s responsibility to teach and educate the child. It is a beautiful world out there — kids in their colourful attire learn to sing and dance, make clay models and many more fun things. Of course, the child will learn “What is your name?”, but in due course.
The mother changes her method but the naughty tiny tot is just not in the mood. Out of patience, she threatens to take the kid’s favourite toy away if he does not the child did answer. So, when she mother asked again “What is your name?,” he says “pyo” (just like his grandmom refers to his father!) What followed was, presumably, a whack and a bawling child! Lesson over. |
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Training errors can also predispose one to injuries. Avoid progressing too much too soon. Increase in volume and intensity of workout should be gradual. — Dr Ravinder Chadha |
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Pop superstar Madonna has once again upset animal lovers by dyeing her sheep in various shades. Apparently, Madonna has dyed the sheep in shades of blue, pink and yellow for a Vogue Living photo spread. She clarified that the dye was temporary and that it did not harm the animal. However, activists are afraid that this might inspire others to do the same and they may not be so careful. Last, Madonna and her husband were criticised for hosting pheasant-hunting parties in their estate.
— IANS
It’s rather early on a Sunday morning. My neighbour is working on her two-and-a-half-year-old seeking admission in a city school this year — What is your name? Aeroplane. What is your father’s name? Shah Rukh Khan!