Sunday, July 1, 2001		Article

It is not easy to keep your relations in good humour always. If you are warmer towards one relative, the other feels displeased that he/she has not been given due respect or affection. More often than not, you end up doing the balancing act with relatives, says R.S. Dutta.

IN Urdu and Hindi languages, there are a score or more words with the suffix "dari". For example, "dukandari" (shop-keeping) and "imandari" (honesty).

Ironically, every profession or act with the suffix "dari" in its name is difficult, overbearing, unpleasant, and what not. Take "zimmedari" (responsibility) first. Whatever be the job entrusted to you and howsoever best you may do, more often than not, something is left wanting. Thus rather than getting a pat on your back what you receive is reprimand or condemnation.

"Dukandari", a shopkeeper’s job, is not easy by any means. The shopkeeper has to be on his feet from the time he opens his shop till he downs the shutters, attend to every customer, satisfy him about the price and quality of things sold. At the top of it, he has to keep a vigil so that no customer leaves without paying for the goods purchased, as also keep a watch on shop-lifters.

"Mehmandari" (serving guests) mostly brings criticism and bad name how-so-ever well you may try to serve them — whether you serve them the best food, give them a cosy bed to sleep in, even if it means your sleeping on the floor. Guests think themselves to be kings and it is seldom that you can satisfy them.

Now come to "rishtedari" (relationships). It is not easy to keep your relations in good humour always. If you are warmer towards one relative, the other feels displeased that he/she has not been given due respect or affection. More often than not, you end up doing the balancing act with relatives.

Next take "namberdari" (village headmanship). The primary duty of a nambardar is to collect land revenue from agriculturists and deposit it in the government treasury. This itself is an unpleasant job. It is human nature that nobody wants to part with money, irrespective of whether it is due or not and whether one has it or not.

When a crime takes place in the village, which is not uncommon, the nambardar has to report to the concerned police station, assist the police in the investigation, not to mention arranging proper meals, for all the members of the police party. During elections, it is the headman who has to garner votes for the candidate of the ruling party.

Take "Duniyadari" (wordly wisdom). To be worldly wise one has to do so many things — sometimes to speak a lie or kill one’s conscience to please others. "Barkhurdari" (being a sincere younger) and "farmabardari" (faithfulness) are not easy either.

"Imandari" (honesty) is very difficult in the present times. Even if one does not have to adopt dishonest methods to maintain one’s family life or make ends meet, sometimes one is tempted to become dishonest if one is offered a sumptuous amount or a costly present.

For one’s khuddari (self-respect) one has to annoy, sometimes make many enemies.

"Timardari" (nursing) is yet another arduous job, which involves a great deal of patience, labour, and expense.

However, there are some professions and acts, such as "tahsildari", "thanedari", "zilledari", etc, which are a bed of roses.