Sunday, March 4, 2001		Feedback

Power of acceptance

THIS refers to the article "The power of acceptance" by Hitesh Kaushal (February 11) wherein the writer describes beautifully the way we yearn for acceptance and the way the same wistful yearning becomes instrumental in some children becoming errant aberrations and some others becoming self-righteous. Thus both the criminals as well as the holier-than-thou zealots are the product of conditional love and are an equally sad commentary on the way the parents mostly hold back generous, free and unconditional love.

Conditional love is not love, it is emotional blackmail that twists the healthy human spirit. Anybody who is capable of showering love in an unconditional way is a sage in the real sense. Rigidity and dogmatism are as big a curse for humanity as abberant behaviour is. Selective showering of love is not what god wished us to have in our hearts. When we shower our love upon all the human beings in an unconditional manner, we unknowingly repair the damage that has been caused by countless others who held back acceptance from those thirsting for it. That is when god smiles in our hearts, howsoever insignificant we may be. Doesn’t he also readily extend his acceptance towards us? Humanity does need sages of this sort to heal its bruises.

Amrit Pal Tiwana
Kalka

This refers to Amita Malik’s article "Who is destroying Indian Culture?" (February 4). I fully endorse the views expressed in this article with regard to modern women (which includes TV anchors, models, film actresses and business executives), who try to appear modern in pseudo-western dresses. They do not always have the physical proportions required to carry off western dresses and look self-conscious all the time, just as western women usually look ridiculous in saris. In chilly winter mornings when one finds public school girls wearing skirts to school, one realises that we have crossed all limits in our efforts to imitate the West.

Onkar Chopra
New Delhi

The writer has posed an apt question — who is destroying Indian culture? Admittedly it is all our own doing and we have nobody to blame for it but ourselves.

Often social mores operate along contradictory paths. That is why there are no frowns when fashionable women appear scantily dressed at social occasions. Perhaps this can be attributed to the Indian attitude towards sex, which is ambivalent and paradoxical. Here, on the one hand, there is rigid separation of sexes, prudishness, and praise of the spiritual. On the other hand, we have a sex-charged mythology, and erotic sculptures in temples. This attitude has been prevalent, since ancient times. How can we explain this contradiction?

It is a known fact that some foreign channels are telecasting shows which cross the limits of decency. Even our own channels are not lagging behind in this respect. The government is a silent spectator due to political compulsions. Until the people themselves do not come forward against these immodest T.V. shows, cultural regression is bound to continue.

P.L. SETHI
Patiala

Aradhika Sekhon deserves a pat on the back for her write- up, "A vision of female follies and desires" (February 11). I would like to point out that Zubeidaa directed by Shyam Benegal is much more than merely a vision of female follies, foibles and desires. The story begins and ends with a son’s search for his mother, who had left him at a tender age in pursuit of her happiness and regal lifestyle. The curious son, played deftly by Rajit Kapoor, grows up pining for his mother, determined to piece the puzzle together. He moves from pillar to post to get the missing film reel of his mother’s only song-dance sequence. During the process he learns that through no fault of hers, his mother was divorced by her cowardly husband, unwilling to oppose his father who was determined to go back to Pakistan. Under the stress and strain of the circumstances, the son could have turned bitter after a life of turbulance, but he is calm, composed, considerate and compassionate, wondering what his mother wanted out of her life and whether she attained it.

There are many questions he does not find suitable answers to. He remembers his mother as a free spirit, as someone who lived her life in her way and later on died on her own terms as is indicated by the red cloth fluttering in the sky in the film.

M.L. Dhawan
Chandigarh