Sunday, December 10, 2000		Feedback

THIS refers to the article "Let grief run its course" (November 26) by Taru Behl.

Grief at the loss of someone dear and that too a young, precious one gives rise to feelings of helplessness and futility which may result in anger at one’s helplessness. One must come to terms with one’s grief and let it run its full course so that life may start afresh. There is nothing wrong in giving vent to one’s sorrow by crying as tears help to express grief. Sharing one’s grief with others is the best method to unburden one’s anguish, sorrow and helplessness.

SAROJ THAKUR
Hamirpur

It is said that grief is usually experienced at some unhappy event, such as failure in an exam, losing one’s job, or perhaps the death of a loved one in the family. When any one of these things happen, most people pass through a few weeks of sadness and then try to carry on as best they can.

When some loved one dies, it is natural to weep. Failure to grieve may indicate some personality disturbance. This is a sign that all is not well. A normal amount of grief is nature’s way of releasing tensions, depression and sadness. Some one has said: "If some great sorrow or sadness like a mighty river flows through your life and your dearest things in life are swept away for ever, say to yourself in this trying hour — this too shall pass away."

O.P. SHARMA
Faridabad

Losing a young and charming baby or even a grown-up child is a great tragedy for parents. It shakes their very faith in life. It takes a long time for the parents to overcome their grief. In some cases they may fail to come to terms with the tragedy. In such a crucial time the society should come to the aid of the family and professional help should also be made available.

Such a tragedy also affects the growth and development of other children in the family As parents become overprotective these children are denied many a normal experience. This may affect the family ties. So it is better to be realistic towards life and be prepared for death every moment and yet not let it make you afraid.

B.M. PURI
Solan

This refers to article: "Fathers in a new role" by Gavin Evans (November 19). It is heartening to read that in the West there is a considerable increase in the time men spend interacting with their children. Children need father figures and positive male role models. It is, therefore, in the interest of the healthy growth and development of children that modern fathers in the West have started getting more involved in their lives. I would appeal to the fathers in our country to also follow their example.

A child growing up under the care of a single mother or a single father is devoid of full parental love. In such cases grandparents have to step in and fill the void.

ONKAR CHOPRA
New Delhi

This refers to "The backlash" by Rana Nayar (November 12). Matters cannot be generalised on the basis of the attitude of a fraction of women. A woman seeks freedom not from the bondages of love and attention of her man but from his ego with which many times, consciously or unconsciously, he hurts her.

For a woman man cannot be a non-existent entity just as a woman cannot be for a man. The two are put together on this earth to carve out a better place for themselves as well as for each other. Fighting for establishing supremacy of a gender is an ugly characteristic of a distorted personality. Let the gender wars be a part of 20th century history and welcome the new era with a collective endeavour against injustice, be it against men or women or animals!

NIRUPAMA KHANNA
Chandigarh

The write-up "The significance of Om" by S.S. Bhatti (November 26) left much to be desired. Since I am not a religious scholar, I would not touch upon the religious ramifications of the sacred word Om. But would certainly say that the author has made a mockery of the subject by suggesting that the word Om "should be written with ‘M’ inserted in ‘O’ as shown" by him, as if it originated in the English script.

By abbreviating, rather compulsorily, the English word God and then relating it to the Hindu Gods appeared to be a wild and childish stretch of his imagination. Take for instance Guru Nanak’s Asa Di War that is recited every morning in every gurdwara and by every religious-minded Sikh. This contains a vociferous and long condemnation of tag (the symbolic and sacred thread that every Hindu used to wear in olden days). Since the practice of wearing the sacred thread no longer exists among the Hindu masses, can we think of modifying Guru Nanak’s text? No, certainly not. For, now it has become a part and parcel of our strong religious faith that goes much beyond the literal meaning of the text.

Similarly the ancient sacred wordOm is not the kind of text that needs to be reviewed or redesigned, and that too through the tools of the English script that can’t be equated with our rich and accomplished Sanskrit, which gave birth to it.

BALVINDER
Chandigarh