Sunday, December 3, 2000		Feedback

TARU Bahl’s in her write-up "Savouring life’s journey" (November 19) has laid bare the journey through life of a typical middle class person. The pressure and stress to perform well is tremendous these days and it can so easily wear one down. In a world where habits and trends change fast, one comes up with all sorts of ideas and methods to generate extra money. And, this can eat up a considerable part of one’s leisure time. Moreover one’s relations within one’s family as well as at his workplace are also under stress. In a society where dissatisfaction is rising, it is virtually impossible to please all. So, it takes a lot of maturity and good sense to accumulate all the goodies of life and savour them to the fullest.

RAJNEESH GOYAL
Mansa

We should realise that pleasure does not come only by reaching a destination, it also comes from the experience we get during the journey itself. One’s life from cradle to grave is a journey and one’s daily life is full of experience that give us pleasures.

A majority of people might have observed in their lives that when they do not attain what they want, they plunge into gloom and condemn their fate. But, at a later stage, time compensates them in ways which they never thought of. It is so because it is beyond the reach of human faculty to comprehend the ways of the Almighty.

In essence, to make yourself happier and your life richer, you must learn to live in the present. You can learn from the past and plan for the future, but get pleasure from the present moment and give this moment your all.

P.L. SETHI
Patiala

The views expressed by Rana Nayar in the article "The backlash" (November 12) are romantic, highly imaginative and cut off from ground reality. To say that the male citadel has been shattered by women in India is to offer a baseless argument. The male citadel remains intact throughout India. It is men who control the society and the politics and not the women as the author thinks, wishfully. Even in big cities, men call the shots.

From birth to death, women depend upon men for survival and social recognition. When a girl marries, she adds the surname or gotra of her husband to her name. She forgets her own existence and identity and merges it with that of her husband. Most employed women work at home as well as in offices. Their fate seems to be one of endless domestic drudgery and cruel exploitation.

The author’s argument that the victim has turned into a victimiser is hollow and baseless. Indian women are always at the mercy of their husbands. Greedy in-laws harass them endlessly for dowry.

In small towns and villages, Indian women don’t have any say in family affairs. Their main job is to give birth to children and look after them. They are expected to speak less and eat less. They don’t own houses and fields; it is only their husbands and sons who are the real masters. Even if they are elected panches and sarpanches it is only their husbands and sons who take decisions on their behalf. They are, in fact, tied down to the age-old demands of a patriarchal society.

The so-called free and economically independent women can be seen only in big cities. A few of them perceive their real growth and happiness only in being hostile to men. But their defective perception is an offshoot of our TV serials and distorted ideas and concepts floated by magazines which publish a lot of material about ‘absolute’ (meaning unbridled) freedom of women. Such ladies have their own perception about modernity which is very often based upon fashion-shows, cocktail parties and anti-male campaigns. Men can certainly be terrorised by such women. But the number of such women is very small. It is not logical to generalise this conclusion by citing a few examples as the author does.

RAJ BAHADUR DEHATI
Rewari

The author presented a dismal picture of the world in which we live. A few stray incidences of women ill-treating men cannot be generalised to include the entire population.

The biological advantage that males enjoy enables them to dominate women. Women, in general, enter matrimony well-groomed for the role of an emotional manager. But unfortunately some women, in the exuberance of their new-found economic freedom, may behave in an irresponsible manner. In order to keep the social fabric intact, women have to judiciously balance their economic freedom with their traditional roles of caring and loving.

SAROJ THAKUR
Hamirpur

Apropos of Gavin Evans’s article "Fathers in a new role" (November 19), whether fathers are out of work or busy with their jobs, a wise father should always spend a reasonable amount of time at home with his family, helping his children with the many problems of growing up in a complicated world. When he is strong and sensible, his children will respect him. The most valuable things in life cannot be bought with cash. Nor will a child respect a father who spends long evenings with his friends.

O.P. SHARMA
Faridabad

This refers to the article "Nature as Guide" by A.J. Singh (November 5) in which the author has suggested effective ways to develop the manner in which we observe nature.

The wonders of nature are multifarious, miraculous and never-ending. Besides giving has heart-felt joy, observing it erases the exhaustion of day-to-day life and works as a balm for the overstretched and taut nerves. It is loquacious enough, only if we care to listen to it and learn to decode its language. We are big losers if we have no time to observe its beauties. As a famous poet said,

When we get close to nature, it rewards us by imparting its healing touch to us.

AMRIT PAL TIWANA
Kalka