He didn’t flaunt success symbols reeking of his success and affluence. At a time when even the junior-most employee in his office had applied for car loans and was acquiring swanky new four-wheelers, he was happy using the chartered bus and his Bajaj scooter. His friends felt he belonged to a different time and generation and often tried to influence him into shedding his laid-back attitude and adopting a more competitive spirit. His colleagues excluded him from important conversations, convinced that he couldn’t have anything significant to contribute. He was rarely singled out for prestigious assignments since he seemed to lack fire. He was clearly not a part of the rat race.

What did he think of himself? Did he perceive himself as someone who was a loser and had nothing to show at the end of his 45-odd years? His children went to a government school, his wife was not working and his home was typically middle class. Unlike his contemporaries, he was not saving pennies hoping to upgrade his status. Was he supposed to feel sorry for all this? Should he make excuses for his ordinariness? Was his family deep down resentful of his not having provided them with the trappings of a luxurious life? Should he have changed himself and become more in tune with the demands of the times? These questions often cropped up in his mind as friends and relatives pointed out how he hadn’t capitalised on his talent and opportunities. They told him he could have engineered a foreign posting, taken up the fabulous offer which an international finance firm had made to him and bought the house in a commercially upmarket area which was, at one point, going at a throwaway price.

Why didn’t he? Why did he not conform to the expectations of his loved ones? Why did he choose to live a simple life with few needs and ambitions? Why did he prefer being with nature rather than spend all his waking hours in claustrophobic rooms, typing numbers and figures onto computer screens, working the nights away in the hope of a promotion, flattering his bosses and cultivating the right contacts? Was he really a could-have-been?

His was a love marriage. He was deeply committed to his family and was not ashamed to let the world know that he was devoted to them, not just in word and thought but in action and deed as well. He had seen many of his friends burn themselves out before they were 40. He had seen families breaking up or, worse still, living together without sharing a level playing field. They might have had fancy houses, sophisticated gadgetry, foreign holidays and all the other ingredients which go into creating a glossily-packaged product but the basic tenets of companionship, understanding and love were missing. He didn’t want to lead a hypocritical life. He wanted to store in his mind memories of precious moments spent with his wife and children, of doing crazy things which could give them strength later in life.

He knew that it was the "in-betweens of life" which really mattered. His parents had divorced while he was still at school. Though he was the head-boy both in school and college and had an exceptionally brilliant record in studies, besides being lauded by his teachers as gifted in art, he never experienced the ecstasy of winning a competition. He didn’t have anyone who could share his success, joys and triumphs.

He had realised early in life that it was naive to think that pleasure came only when we reached a trip’s destination if it had eluded us along the way. Which is why as he grew up he decided to treat the "in-betweens of life" as special experiences and gifts from God. These were moments when he could live fully and cherish. He knew that life’s in-between times were going to be his most frequent experiences and could be the most important too.

It was his belief that most battles were won or lost not at the beginning or end but in-between. He did not doubt the exhilaration one experiences when receiving a college degree, but he also knew that if you had not found satisfaction in all the little intermediate successes which led up to that moment, the entire exercise was a waste. Enjoying life is itself a skill learned mostly in life’s in-between periods.

Which is why his driving time to the office was not plagued by taking and receiving calls on a mobile but listening to music. He thoroughly enjoyed his children’s growing up years. He was there when they took their first step, broke their first teeth, mumbled their first words, made their first friends and went to school for the first time. He participated with vigour and enthusiasm in each moment. He flew kites with them, took them for swims in ponds, made wooden trucks and planes and filled their lives with fascinating full-of-love events.

He was there, a proud moist-eyed daddy when his daughter took her medical degree and gold medal. Both knew that he hadn’t waited for this moment to derive his share of parental pride and give her a pat on the back but had taken pride in her entire journey into adulthood. Every little achievement of hers had been preciously savoured and celebrated. He shared a very meaningful bond with her which reaffirmed his belief in himself.

In much the same way, he didn’t want to put his life on hold until he had arrived where he wanted to be. For him, success and unlimited joys were yours for the taking, not some day in the hazy distant future but in the present. He didn’t want to trivialise these in-between moments as times to be endured until the real living began because he intuitively knew that if he did he would end up trivialising his entire life. The nine months of his wife’s pregnancy; bringing the bonny baby from the hospital and nurturing her every single day till she left for the USA for future studies; his 30-year innings at the bank before they settled down to their retired life in the country; recovering from a serious accident while scaling a mountain and getting back into shape; providing all the love and support to their daughter when she lost her fiance in a car accident were all in-between times. These were transitions which made up the bulk of his time in this world and he was bent upon being aware of each moment and leaving nothing for tomorrow.