A monsoon wedding for Tabu on the cards?
By Madhur Mittal

HEY! Is it really true that Tabu may soon be flying off to Hollywood, to do a really big movie with a really hot hero and a really top director...? Well, we have more than much flak flying around here in Bollywood, although nobody seems to really know any details for sure!

Hang on in there for a moment. Because one could always confirm the "news" by getting the itty gritty stuff straight from the mare’s... mouth, right? WRONG! For the very simple reason that Tabu isn’t in town (she could be shooting anywhere — Mussorie, Melbourne or Munich, y’know). Shucks, stumped. What does one do now, for Chrissake? Think, think. Aha, got it! Just put my ear to the ground... and tune in to Punditji — filmland’s most reverred and renowned Shri Know All, who’s almost always under ground.

And he turns out to be a real party pooper! "No Tabu is not acting with the Americans; she is only going to be in the USA for the next couple of months to shoot for half a dozen filmmakers — taking her from New York through Hawaii to Santa Barbara! And yes, even though you didn’t ask me, let me tell you that she will marry soon after her return to India, most probably a monsoon marriage".

Before I can make my getaway, Punditji says: "Oh, just one more thing, my man." I look enquiringly. He displays tobacco-stained teeth. "You owe me a hundred bucks for my inside information!" Maybe I could bill Tabu for it as and when she returns from "Hollywood" ...

It could be worse

Of late, Akshaye Khanna has been meeting up with rather aggressive (if not hostile) Press persons. All they all want to question him about is his fade out in the (very) near future — what with his starrers falling like ninepins at the box office bowling alley, see?

Well, well, certainly goes to the credit of Khanna Jr that he’s taking all the potshots with a big grin, as of now. The hunky guy just shakes his head, ruffles his hair (whatever is still there!) and smiles broadly:"Look, I’am doing my level best to put in good, convincing performances. But if the viewers aren’t quite happy, then I guess I’am not exactly picking the right pictures to do. Frankly, I do try and insist on going through the script before I sign a film... but all I am given is the storyline in five, short sentences! And with most of the scenes being written on the sets itself, tell me: What the hell can I do about it, huh?"

Cheer up, Akshu — it’s not the end of the world, or your career. After all, things could be worse...

Ms Moneybags

On the other hand, someone who can’t stop smiling (smugly) happens to be Manisha Koirala. All of a sudden, that dazed, depressive, lost look is gone... to be replaced by an exuberant, oh-joy-is-me kinda countenance! What’s the big deal?

Well, it is a big deal, literally! You see, Raveena Tandon had been chosen to do a series of new ads for Pepsi. But, before you could say "Abracadabra", the Nepali nymphet had made headlines by (unceremoniously) replacing Raveena virtually overnight!!! No doubt the new ad is pretty slick and effective (with former "Mr Graviera", Pundir Diwakar, pitching in with machismo to match Manisha"s undeniable sensuality), but, still, everybody’s wondering how Koirala carried off such a clout of a coup — making her richer by a whopping 20 million megabucks!

Er... now, if that ain’t reason enough to smile, what is... ?

Gulshan marries again

Ladies and gentlemen, please offer congratulations and felicitations to the vile villain of Hindi cinema — Gulshan Grover — on his third (or is it the fourth?) official marriage! He wed pretty Kashish Berry at a star studded ceremony at Juhu’s ISCKON amidst red roses, rose petal heaps and rose water sprinklers...

Well, may the fragrance last forever and all that ... but such was Gulu’s kashish to marry in a tearing hurry, that he forgot to invite more than half of the film fraternity! So now, he’s trying to make amends by sending out "Sorry my wedding card didn’t reach you" Cards all over again...

This feature was published on May 16, 1999