The mother of all virtues
By Taru Bahl

HUMILITY may seem an odd word since it implies to many a cringing self — abasement quite at odds with the self-confidence, even egoism, which marks the personality of most leaders. The dictionary, too, surprisingly lists its synonyms as lowliness, meekness and submissiveness; even when in no way does it imply self-demeaning behaviour. In fact, it has always denoted strength of character. Humility may appear out of place today because we have got used to seeing successful people being exhibitionists, deceitful and arrogant.

It is, therefore, perceived as an outdated virtue which cannot better our prospects. This could not be further from the truth. A humble demeanour is certainly not a denial of our worth as individuals. Rather, it is a tool that allows us, insofar as possible, to be on good terms with everybody. It lets us feel and see the dignity and worth of all God’s children.

Great people have always been humble. The truly learned never rest on their laurels, content in the knowledge that they have amassed all the information and wisdom that exists. On the contrary, the more they learn, the more they feel remains to learn. It is only the pompous, the conceited and the verbose who, after gaining superficial knowledge, feel that they have learnt everything and that they can now dictate to others. People of substance, on the other hand, are not only humble but also think nothing of bending, apologising, underplaying their greatness and of leading a nondescript existence away from the arclights. To quote from the Guru Granth Sahib, "neeven so bhara hoi"— when weighing on the scale, it is the heavier side which goes down.

Whether it is a fruit-laden tree or a scientist who has made an amazing discovery, both bend without malice, pretension and false pride. Their bending reveals their forever growing state of mind and a flexibility which only the chosen few exhibit.

Too much humility, or rather humility of the counterfeit sort, is fatal to leadership for it robs a leader of self-confidence and compassion. If he himself is insecure, how will he repose confidence in his team and enable them to objectively do a stocktaking of their strengths and limitations? Winston Churchill, it is said, thanked the people for their help to Britain and the Allied cause with humble tears of gratitude streaming down his cheeks. He needn’t have, since no one really expected him to do so. But his greatness lay in the fact that he humbly acknowledged everybody’s’ contribution to the War effort.

General Dwight Eisenhower once said, "Every leader should have enough humility to accept publicly the responsibility for the mistakes of the subordinates he has himself selected and likewise to give them credit publicly for their triumphs. I am aware that some popular theories of leadership hold that the top man must always keep his ‘image’ bright and shining. I believe, however, that in the long run fairness, honesty and a generous attitude towards subordinates and associates pays off."

There is this story about a rider who came across some soldiers who were trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was dispassionately standing and watching his men struggle. The rider asked the corporal as to why he wasn’t offering a helping hand or evolving a strategy which would make the task simpler. The corporal replied rather cockily, "I am the corporal; I only give orders." The rider dismounted, went up and stood by the soldiers and as they were lifting the log he helped them. Using force and skill he got them to execute the task efficiently. There was a brief moment of euphoria as the men congratulated themselves, happy that they had performed what was an onerous task. The rider quietly mounted his horse, moved purposefully towards the corporal and said, "The next time your men need help, send for the Commander-in -Chief." After he left, the corporal and his men found out that the rider was none other than George Washington, their C-in-C.

Great people like Washington are free from the mad urge to act/demonstrate only to prove and show their ‘superiority’. They have no desire or urge to dominate others, to seize the glory, to insist on people worshipping them and to be accepted as gods or messiahs.

Their refusal to lord over others has a parallel in the teachings of Jesus. Theirs is the attitude that man should adapt to all animate and inanimate things as well as to his fellow humans. It is because the sage has the power or virtue that he refuses to use force bringing him that much closer to the concept of ‘meekness’ which Christ advocated.

Which is why humility includes both seeing the truth about oneself and also being open to learning more about good leadership and leading an exemplary life. The leader does not pretend to be special. He does not gossip or wastes his breath arguing. Silence for him is a great source of strength. Success does not make him conceited or full of himself. He does not expect servility from his subordinates which is why he continues to evoke respect and admiration from people who bend backwards to please him. And he continues to grow spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally, till the day he dies.

If people are looking out for being in the number one slot or constantly seeking what- is- in- it- for- me, they will have no sense of stewardship—no sense of being an agent for worthy principles, purposes and causes. They become laws unto themselves. They are only interested in presenting or promoting their own agenda.

They are focused on power, wealth, fame, position, dominion and possessions. They may even achieve all of this but do they earn unflinching respect, unconditional love and unexpected gains? To be ethical one has to look at every economic transition as a test of our individual moral stewardship. That is why humility is the mother of all other virtues because it promotes stewardship.

When stewardship is there, everything else that is good works even better through us. But if we get into the "pride mode", where all that matters is "my will, my agenda, my wants", we must rely totally upon our own strengths. People who seek their own glory are deeply concerned with their own agenda.

They may even regard their spouses and children as possessions. They may try to wrest from them the kind of behaviour that will win them more popularity and esteem in the eyes of others. Rarely do they realise that such possessive love is destructive. Instead of being agents or stewards they interpret everything in life in terms of "what it will do for me". Everybody then becomes either a competitor or conspirator. Their relationships, even intimate ones, tend to be competitive rather than cooperative. They use manipulation, threat, fear, pressure, deceit, bribery and even charm to achieve their ends.

Their ego and sense of self is all that matters to them. While western psychologists may credit the ego for all achievements of mankind, eastern philosophers shun it. The only kind of ego worthy of contemplation is the kind of ego that our Creator possesses: absolute, ultimate, gigantic and huge. Once this godlike ego enters our consciousness, it naturally destroys petty mindedness and expands awareness. This godlike ego is the result of our small human ego touching the divine.

By detaching ourselves from our ‘small egos’ we can rid ourselves of all our petty insecurities as we allow our life to unfold naturally. We find ourselves freed from trivial concerns. We find peace and harmony.

Although East and West may disagree on the definition and terminology of the word ‘ego’, they both agree on the importance of developing that awareness which supports our sense of connection to our Maker and assists us in manifesting a strong sense of who we are in our pursuance of the common good.