Youth is as youth would be

Some say thy fault is youth, some wantonness.
Some say thy grace is youth and gentle sport.

— William Shakespeare

By Nonika Singh

PSYCHOLOGIST Keniston recognised youth as essentially a period of studenthood, a kind of lull, a time for serious experimentation, to shape a personal perspective on life and a sense of direction before tackling the challenges of true adulthood. In each one of our lives youth is a special chapter, and at the macro-societal level, youth cannotes a beacon of hope. But in a society like ours, which has traditionally equated wisdom with grey hair and youth with passionate foibles, today more than ever youth, instead of signalling optimism, seems to be ushering in a dark era of desolation.

Be it social pundits, media hawks, parents or educationists, their outrage against ‘hip swinging, trigger-happy generation’ is unanimously palpable. A national magazine built a dossier on their criminal activities, yet another daily unravelled the factors behind their aggressive behavioural pattern. Parents, relatives, well-wishers, wringing hands in desperation, fret and fume. Have they no shame, morals, values? Right in the firing line — derided and degenerated —suddenly the modern youth is the national pet hate and their errant code of conduct a subject of heated debate. Honestly, are these recriminations justified? Are we being fair in judging our youngsters?

Says Professor Keshava Kayastha, a social scientist, "Youth always experiments with new ideas which often enough transgress the established boundaries of tradition. Their quest is often mistaken for impetuousness and boorishness. Besides, with the opening of hitherto forbidden areas, their questioning power has assumed greater shock value." Of course, no one is suggesting that today’s youth is a replicate of the one that existed 50 years ago. But they have not metamorphosed into blood-sucking monsters as a psychologist would have us believe. Her contention that the present lot of young wannabees are only too eager to even pawn off their parents to meet selfish ends, does sound outrageous. Dr S.R. Mehta, a sociologist, avers that change, unless enforced by an autocratic regime, a natural catastrophe, war-like upheaval, invariably follows the path of least resistance. His viewpoint is upheld by Geeta Sharma, whose comparative study on women different generations, pointed out that differences are not so sharp. True, conformity is on the decline and certain dictates, considered taboo by the previous generation, have become values today.

Still the core values have by and large not changed. Take marriage, for instance. Divorcee is considered acceptable by young women, yet marriage remains a vital institution, and not even a single respondent cited physical gratification as the raison d’etre of marriage. Even today marriage continues to be an emotional support system.

Moreover, contrary to media hype, the perceptible differences are not necessarily in the negative direction as the younger generation is far more receptive and willing to pursue occupations unmindful of social stigmas affixed to marginal jobs. As they are not defined by fixed parameters of education, they have no hang-ups or inhibitions. Besides, a great many are becoming self-supporting at a young age. Professor P.N. Pimpley, a sociologist, reflects," No doubt the youth is far more achievement-oriented and begins to plan and specialise early in life. But the cut-throat competition has led to great deal of egocentric behaviour. The threshold levels of tolerance and patience are on the decline".

Dr Raj Mohini Sethi, Chairperson, Department of Sociology, Panjab University, Chandigarh adds, "Life is a bed of roses and thorns, a mixture of success and failure. But the present generation refuses to accept the downside of life, for their killer instinct is being honed to perfection." But who’s pushing them towards this high achievement-oriented path? Parents, of course. Dr Sherry Sabharwal, whose main area of interest is development studies, comments, "The overriding parental refrain is not ‘Do your best’, but ‘Do the best’, in absolute, concrete terms." With success as the only mantra in their lives, the ‘I, me, myself’ syndrome permeates through every pore of their being. As Shakespeare would say: "Sin of self love posseth all mine eye. And all my soul and all my every part. And all for this sin there is no remedy".

In the ensuing clash between individual and collectivity,individualism wins hands down. Professor of sociology, Dr Baljeet Singh, puts it more rationally, "Individualism per se is not bad but if promoted as a norm it has a corresponding cost-benefit graph. When market pressures and the dog-eat-dog competitive world force a society to project the individual, every single act becomes a means to a goal. Even the artistic or creative vocation is pushed forward as an instrument to garner monetary gains.It is no more a medium for inner joy. The combined fallout is that relationships, too, are perceived as an item to be consumed and not lived."

So the parent-child tie is affected. Amazingly, with the emergence of a progressive, educated and aware parental class, the communication channels, instead of opening up, are closing down. Rani Mehta’s research revealed a staggering 98 per cent of youngsters admitting to a yawning generation gap. Social observers blame the whirlwind speed of technological change for this growing chasm. While the younger generation has adapted to the fast-changing globalisation of values and norms, the older generation has been unable to cope. Moreover, the real rub lies in the parental approach. Fissured apart by dichotomy, while they embrace the technological revolution with open arms, the social change, an inextricable dimension (call it excess baggage if you please) of technological transformation, is an anathema for them. So they want their progeny to be computer whizkids, yet oblivious to the gory reality of cyber sex. They expect their flesh and blood to be smart alecky, media savvy, updated on information around the world, and yet turn a blind eye to the juicy details of Monica-Clinton affair. Dr Atamjit, a well known playwright who had penned a play on the generation gap, muses. "We want our youth to talk in English and think in Punjabi."

Undeniably modern youngsters, too, want their cake and eat it as well, revel in the glory of individualism and bask in the cocooned security of the old order. Nevertheless, in a society thriving on corruption, nepotism, hypocrisy, is’nt it a trifle too righteous to demand idealism from our youth?. Celebrated director-poet Gulzar observes: "Our youth has inherited a world they did not deserve". Still we blame the fresh blood for the malaise running deep in our socio-political bloodstream. According to psychologist Eric Berne, three messages are crucial to a personality growth. ‘I am okay, you are okay’ — is the ideal way of communicating. Dr Sudha Bant, a counsellor, contends that the messages signalled to our youngsters are more on the lines of ‘ I am okay, you are not okay’ while the reality is closer to, ‘I am not okay, you are not okay.’ Dismissing suggestions that the peer group influence dilutes family values, Sudha is adamant that family is the single most important agent of socialisation. Parents, through positive role modelling, can even counter innate aggressive tendencies, if any. She states that judging by the swelling numbers of youngsters seeking psychiatric advice, the conflicts and tensions cannot be wished away.

However braggarts like Nanda (of the infamous BMW fiasco fame) do not by any stretch of imagination represent a typical youth prototype. Warning signals at worst, such incidents, avers Dr. Kayastha, are reflected in transition societies like ours at various levels. As Indian society, where you command respect by virtue of age and not merit, gravitates towards a youth -centric pattern, similar aberrations would recur every now and then. No reason to press the panic button or sound the alarm bells, as long as we grasp the essence of the saying, ‘Change is what keeps us fresh and innovative. Change is what keeps us from getting staple. Change is what keeps us young,’ and the fact that no one epitomises change better than youth.