Life at forty

By Suneeta Chahar

KNOWING yourself at the age of 40 is a beautiful experience. Till now, one had devoted one’s life to the upbringing and education of the children. By the time a woman reaches this age her children are generally in college. They do not have to be spoonfed. At this stage, the mother has ample time for herself.

It is rightly said that life begins at 40 because by this time, after years of experience, one’s ideas are set. Whatever one goes through in life, good or bad, becomes a part of one’s personality. One can never separate it from the self. One is mature enough, cannot be bullied and knows what one wants from life. And most of the time has the confidence to do a lot of things.

Life is so beautiful. The more one thinks about it the better it seems. One has so much to look forward to. One can do many things, for example, catch up with reading, listen to music or learn it, join social work or a ladies club, learn some handicraft or set up a small scale business. In short, there is a lot of scope.

For a nature lover, life can be serene and fulfilling. It is lovely to sit in the verandah of the house in the mornings and take in the greenery. Listening to different sounds of nature like chirping of birds and the rustle of leaves is fascinating one is filled with life by merely looking at the yellow, red, mauve, pink and burnt peach of flowers in bloom.

The process of learning never ends in life. If one stopped learning, the mind would start stagnating resulting in mental death to a certain extent. As a kid one learns from one’s parents, siblings and peer group but at this time one learns so much from the nature. For example, one is spell-bound while watching birds nurse their young ones. The mother does everything with patience and love.

From the sounds of nature emerges a kind of rhythm which is pleasing to the ears. If you have the time, sit quietly and listen, it’s just like an orchestra, the music of which is composed by Mother Nature herself. Just like nature, there is a rhythm of life too which should not be disturbed. From infancy to old age, life is so hectic that one loses touch with nature. First, it is school; then college, marriage and children. One never has the time to pause ever forever a moment. All of a sudden, one realises that so much life has already passed, though there are no regrets. Now one wants to take in as much of nature as possible and feel the presence of the creator.

The cycle of life goes on from one generation to the next crossing various stages from infancy to old age. Every generation experiences similar things but for each one there is a certain charm in it. It is, therefore, sad to see the rhythm being disturbed by intrigues, manipulations, jealousy and ego hassle. Why do people not realise their fool hardiness and make this life worth living instead of adding stress to it? Life is so simple and beautiful, why are we bent upon making it complicated, unhappy and ugly? At this age of maturity one should realise this.

J. Krishnamurthy once wrote about love. He wrote, "We say I love him/her. In fact, when we really love, when our heart is full of love it’s not one person or a thing that one loves but he/she loves the whole universe because then there is no place for hatred in your heart." This is so very true. But to realise this we need to think and act.

To know yourself, one has to go by instincts and shed inhibitions in life. Those who do so are often misunderstood because our society is not used to them. It has set certain norms of behaviour for people and anyone choosing one’s own path is looked at with suspicion. The path is full of agony but still it is worth it because it takes you nearer to your true goal in life.

Everyone has to find one’s own path but most of us do not realise the true meaning and aim of our life. We get tempted by so many things in life. This reminds us to what Henry Grattan said about the various stages of life, "At twenty years of age, the will reigns, at thirty, the wit and at forty the Judgement". The judgement, therefore, is to know what life is all about and to follow the right path to real happiness and bliss.