Charity begins at home
By Taru Bahl

MOST of us may have a charitable disposition but may be clueless on how to give it direction. Identifying the right charitable cause and/or institution appears an awesome task. Not knowing what to donate, further compounds the state of confusion. Finally, being hard pressed for time pushes all benevolent feelings into the background. Now the good thing about charity, is that one does not necessarily have to go on a mission hunt, tracking down all the homes for the aged, destitute, abandoned and handicapped. Although charities do depend on those who have pots of money and resources, there is no stopping an average, yet-to-be-successful person from making that proverbial beginning. After all charity does begin at home.

If films mirror society, then all charitable people must be black marketeers smugglers, criminals and anti-social elements. Huge donations made out of ill-accumulated wealth by dual-faced, but god-fearing, villains in our movies, are projected as noble attempts to cleanse souls, and seek salvation for misdeeds. While such stereotypes may exist in real life too, their contribution remains largely monetary and superficial. Charity is more than just erecting ornate temples and buying celebrity give-aways. It is about compassion, understanding, sacrifice, tenderness and sharing.

As Nicholas Caussin, a 15 century poet puts it, "the true spirit of charity is in not judging rashly and in not interpreting the actions of others in an ill sense but to be compassionate about their infirmities, bear their burdens, excuse their weaknesses and make up for their defects".

Most of us shy away from charity because we feel, as lone individuals we can make no difference. Inspired by a story from the series Chicken Soup for the Soul, couple in the USA set up the ‘Make-a-Wish-Foundation’ which has an Indian Chapter as well. The husband-wife duo, who lost their own child, found a beautiful unique way of doing charitable service, as they came to terms with their enormous personal loss. They visit hospitals and nursing homes and cull out a list of terminally ill children. Their families are approached and an attempt is made to make the last wish of the dying child come true. It is an uphill task but not impossible. It is amazing how people volunteer, funds are raised, egos pushed aside and things get moving. The objective is simple — to bring happiness and sunshine in the lives of those who have lost all hope.

In India, a child spent an entire day with his idol Sachin Tendulkar, while another chose to be with Shah Rukh Khan and yet another expressed a desire to fly to Disneyland. All their last wishes came true. A chain of people who believed in the spirit of true charity came forward and did something which reposed faith in all humanity. For both Shah Rukh and Sachin time is money, but for a cause like this, they didn’t think twice before offering their time and making the day memorable for their guests.

Brinder Aulakh, a tarot card reader in Chandigarh says, "when people come to me with harried problems, I counsel and try to instill in them a feeling of humility. My solutions are not to go to the temple and make an X amount of donation or to organise a hawan but to donate blankets and sweaters to Mother Teresa’s home or to read out stories to the children at the Blind School". According to the Rig-Veda, the wealthier should give wealth considering the course of life hereafter because riches are like the wheels of a chariot, here today, gone tomorrow. Materials offered could be clothes, grains, foodstuffs, charitable services, assistance to the infirm, sick or community service.

The Bhagvad Gita lists three modes of charity. The sattvik nature embodies the goodness mode including charities made to the right person, at the right time and in the right manner. This is purely voluntary and out of a sense of duty. So even if the recipient is in a position to do a return service or deed, the donation should be made without expecting anything in return. In olden days it was the saints and mendicants who fell in this category.

The rajasik nature embodies the passion mode where charity is made with the desire or motive of a return favour or is done grudgingly with reluctance. The tamasik nature embodies the mode of ignorance where charity is made at an improper place and time, to undeserving people, in a disrespectful manner. Here, a do gooder may himself undergo harm. When Sita stepped beyond the Lakshman rekha to give alms to the sadhu who was actually Ravana in disguise, she steps beyond her safety net. Her intentions were honourable but sense of judgement wrong and became a victim, making her kidnapping by Ravana possible. Our scriptures explain that charity is an act of austerity and sacrifice. So more than what you give away, it is the manner in which you choose to do so and the feelings which prompt you to part with something which belongs to you, that really matters.

Don’t they say ‘when you give with one hand, your other hand too should not get wind of it’. "There is this very touching story about a little boy who goes to a pet shop. He has only $ 2.37 and he wants to buy a puppy. His eye catches a ball of fur which is lagging and limping. He insists on buying it. The owner magnanimously says, "if you really want it, take it for free, although it would be nice if you could look at the better breeds. Maybe a discounted instalment scheme can be worked out." The boy seems adamant on buying the lame pup and insists on paying full amount. When the owner reasons, "this dog is never going to be able to run, jump and play with you like the other puppies", the boy rolls down his trousers and reveals a badly twisted crippled left leg and says "well I don’t run so well myself and the little puppy will need someone who understands".

This story tells us how not to make a charitable gesture. When overwhelmed by charitable feelings, a lot of us get carried away with our emotions, not realising that they could cause hurt and anguish. Readers will recall Naseeruddin Shah’s severe reprimand to Shabana Azmi in Sparsh. He is blind and she, out of social courtesy and a desire to ‘help’, offers to make a cup of tea, something which he does everyday. He finds her helpful gesture an intrusion, a direct attack on his self-esteem.

There is another side to charity. According to old Jewish laws, the highest form of charity was to make a person so self-sufficient that he is no longer dependent on charity. Haven’t we seen some very poor but self-respecting people react violently to charity. For them it is a curse. Rather than beg or be at the mercy of the more fortunate, they would rather go without food and shelter, but work and suffer their way through. While this is an honourable way of living and one which all of us must follow, at the same time we must understand that not everyone is capable of fending for himself.

There are people, less fortunate than us, who need our support and help. Without belittling or demoralising them, we must reach out and do whatever we can.