Bridging the gap between aspiration
and achievement
By T.G.L. Iyer

FRUSTRATION, disappointment, disillusionment and bitterness are all negative emotions. These emotions were not there when you were born. They have crept in while you were growing up due to environment, situations and circumstances. The root-cause of these emotions is unwillingness to reconcile to situations. These emotions develop due to various factors and causes. Let us examine them one by one.

Firstly, the home could be one of the causes creating this emotion. It should be understood that there is a difference between a house and a home. A house is built of mortar, bricks, doors and windows. A home is a place where people live. If there is harmony, love, affection, regard and consideration between the members, cohesion is developed.

If the members are selfish, individualistic, egoistic and dominating, conflicts develop creating fissures in relationships. It is a question of adjustment, give and take, patience and tolerance which can generate warmth and regard for each other. In the Indian context, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship can be the binding factor or a conflict point depending on how they perceive and tackle the family happiness as the case may be. It is a question of attitude and adjustment to promote a common cause of family happiness.

The second place where conflicts arise is the place of work. Here the boss-subordinate relationship plays a vital role. Managing the boss is an art. The techniques of establishing a cordial relationship are simple. The strengths and weaknesses, assets and liabilities of both the boss and subordinate could be listed after an objective appraisal of their qualities.

Thereafter, the weakness of the boss could be compensated by adding the strength of the subordinate. For example, if the boss is poor in public relations and that is the strong-point of the subordinate, the relationship could be merged and mixed by adding the strength of one to the other. On the contrary, if it is salesmanship where the boss is weak and the subordinate is strong, the role playing could be done by the subordinate to compensate the weakness of the boss.

The third area where a cordial relationship could be established between the boss and subordinate is for the subordinate to become indispensable.

Experts say that the best ability is dependability. It is easy to earn the trust of the boss by doing things in such a way that the interests of the boss are safeguarded. By doing extra work for which one is not paid, the person becomes indispensable. Through this process the subordinate becomes a sought after person. Perks and promotions would be offered once the subordinate becomes indispensable. Money will chase him instead of he chasing the money.

A fourth area of dissatisfaction is because of neighbourhood, community hostility and status difference among the neighbours which could be easily overcome through sharing social services and correct relationships. Here the areas to be managed are the personal ego, pride, comparisons and looking down (or up) as the case may be.

By participating in community life, contributing one’s talents and skills, the rough edges could be ironed out to the satisfaction of the members. The greatest asset of an enlightened person is his humility and ability to tolerate the shortcomings of others. With a little bit of understanding the strong and the weak can combine together as a team. There is, in fact nothing to compete with one another; the competition is always with one’self — to become better and better. The expert says "Everyday in every way I am getting better and better".

Satisfaction is a state of mind. Our thoughts and attitudes contribute immensely to create and generate satisfaction in life. In tight-rope walking, the artist keeps his eye in the far-off platform, and not on the rope. That alone gives balance. An obstacle is what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

As Dwight D. Eisenhower the ex-President of America said: "We succeed only when we identify in life a single overriding objective and make all other considerations bend to that one objective". If that objective is peace, contentment, satisfaction or happiness, you can bend all your thoughts to reach that objective.

It all boils down to the saying "You are where you are in life because of your thoughts and actions. You can be wherever you want in the same way through your thoughts and actions". Satisfaction is a simple management technique of moulding your thoughts to achieve it, followed by action to fulfil the same.
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