A fairy queen goes berserk
By Amrita Dhingra

IT is no wonder that a hollow feeling assailed you after your pal of many years and now would be assailant, Frank Gulley, left. Some things in life are bound to do this to one and finding out that a bosom pal wants to dance on your remains with hobnailed boots is certainly one of them. It would not be far off the mark to say you brooded.

Brooded over the fact that a woman could split two friends apart so quickly. Still in time your optimism reasserted itself, after all it was a possibility that hobnailed boots weren’t manufactured anyone or that they had run out of Frank’s size just that morning. "So sorry sir we ran out of this size only this morning," the salesman would say to Frank. "Perhaps we could interest you in a pair of boatshoes, we have several smart designs..."

Frank of course would not be interested in boatshoes, he would probably grind his teeth and stalk off. Then no doubt, he would be forced to postpone his plans for your early demise because knowing him you know he likes to do things properly.

It brought something of a smile to your face and on that happy note your thoughts turned towards all the wonderful things this incarceration in the cooler entailed. Your list ran something like this.

Safe fromAmanda Spence.

Saved from the immediate wrath of Frank Gulley.

Saved from having to be near anywhere near Carrie Calloway.

It was after all a "learning experience" people are so fond of experiencing these days and lucky old you was undergoing it without any conscious endeavour on your part.

You were just toying with the idea of writing a book on it, another thing which people are doing a rather lot, when the horrific crash of trashcans shook you from your reverie. Irritated, you looked up wishing those darned cats would leave you in peace because you were just getting to the good part when after writing that book the royalties start rolling in and you live the rest of your life ensconced in the arms of fame and fortune.

"Hey there I’m back!!!" The eager, freckled face of Tom Spence grins at you through the barred window.

"Tom!" You jump up from the bed, "What’re you doing here?"

"I ran away again right after the play," he announces, still grinning from ear to ear as he adjusts his balance on the trashcan he’s standing on. "Say what’re you doing here? Pinched ole Cromley’s pig I hear!" He has you know just how much you’ve risen in his esteem for performing that feat.

"I’t’s a long story. How was your play?"

"A cracker from beginning to end!"

Now if there ever was a remark intended to puzzle and perplex this was it. You do not expect a Red Indian brave who is forced to play the fairy queen to say that the play was a cracker. You would understand completely if Tom didn’t want to talk about it, if it would linger in his memory forever as a painful experience, but to say that it was a cracker?

You put the question to him.

"Oh I wasn’t the fairy queen — at least not for long!"

After coming back to the school Tom had been subjected to the indignity of a full-scale dress rehearsal. If his apprehensions had diminished in the time he had been away, they now returned with a vengeance.His form giggled as they saw their rebel in a long red wig, a lace gown, gossamer wings, a tiara, wand and makeup (for it took a lot of face powder to disguise his freckles). The humiliation was more than Tom could bear.

He sat through the rehearsal stony faced while his best friend. Harry strutted around as the Thunder Cloud warrior. Rolen, the drama master, found it a trying experience and was vastly relieved when the rehearsal was over.

But relief did not come that easily to Tom. It bothered him all the more that Amanda as the chief guest would witness what he regarded as his final degradation. And running away was no longer a solution.

So the next day he stood in the green room while the seamstress fussed with his costume, powdered his nose, adjusted his wig, arranged and rearranged the tiara murmuring all the while, "My, my how pretty you look....what a cute laddie." Needless to say Tom did not find it amusing in the least. His heart burn increased when he saw Harry in all his Red Indian regalia.

"How goes it my beautiful fairy queen?" said Harry who was not above mocking the redfaced Tom.

"I’ll bash your nose in!" retorted Tom ready for fisticuffs.

"Ha you will" Harry jumped up and down and did a war dance, "I’m sure now that you’re the fairy queen you’ve forgotten how to fight Nah, nah Tom’s forgotten how to fight" Harry was not to blame altogether for it was the first time Tom was at a disadvantage in comparison to him or to anyone. He was getting used to the heady feeling of power.

The play was about to begin and Rolen ordered them to take their places. As the curtained rolled away Tom, from his vantage point of the fairy queen’s throne could see Amanda quite clearly. There she sat next to Cromely looking serious and important and all those other things she was.His face grew dark as she looked up at him and a scowl quite unbecoming of the fairy queen made its appearance on his countenance.

For the next five minutes life was a stretch straight out of hell for him. Not only was he supposed to mouth meaningless, soppy and miss-goody-two-shoes-dialogues but do them in a high falsetto while Harry played the brave, secretly trying to imitate Tom’s performance when he had been the brave. And then sensitive as he was to each nuance in his sister’s expression Tom perceived that Amanda was laughing at him. Her eyes alight with laughter she watched as he went through the scene.

That did it. Like the last straw that broke the camel’s back it snapped something inside him. If he was to go down to filial authority and old Cromeley’s schemes he intended to go down with all guns blazing. He decided to take things into hand and deviate from the script of the play.

"You" he chirruped to the Red Indian in his best falsetto, "Come with me for a walk through the woods."

The Red Indian who was preparing to do another war jig stood there astounded, the elves, the trees and the forest creatures stood there astounded!

"Come on don’t just stand there I have something to show you," so saying an oversmiling and honey sweet fairy queen led the Red Indian off the stage.Harry, not possessing the savoire faire necessary to deal with Tom permitted himself to be led off the stage. And still the rest of the cast watched in amazement, turning to each other in wonder. The tiniest elf, a timid little girl who was very nervous felt the overwhelming urge to cry.

Back stage Tom ripped off his dress, shoved the baffled Harry to a side telling him all the while if he still thought he had lost the art of fighting, yanked off the Red Indian outfit.

At this point Harry decided to yell for help. A startled audience outside heard a muffled cry for help.And the cast now stood clustered on the stage not knowing what to do. "Here shut up and wear this!" Tom who had by now overpowered Harry and was sitting astride him thrust the fairy queen costume at him.

Presently the thunder cloud warrior and the sweetest queen in all the world reappeared on the stage. The fairy queen’s gown had a rent in it, her wig was askew, the tiara jammed on backwards and one gossamer wing was torn, left dangling limply.

The Red Indian brave now had shocking red hair and the most smug expression in all the world. "Ah!" the collective exclamation rolled through the audience. The timid little elf began to wail.

"On our way to the treasure the fairy queen wanted to show me we were accosted by a hundred fierce bandits," declared the brave, "I fought them single-handed and slayed them all. They wanted to kidnap the sweet queen," at this point he paused to smirk condescendingly at Harry, "but I saved her.

So she’s made me King of the forest!"Hail to the king of the forest! Hail the king!"

Now the cast was without a clue as to what it is supposed to do.What they did know was that Tom had thus far always led them into fun. They did what came naturally.

They followed his lead. The trees forgot that they were supposed to stand still and began to imitate his whoops and war cries. The elves and the flowers, the butterflies stamped their feet and shook off their sweet demeanour in a trice. The wails of the timid little girl only added to the clamour.

The audience watched this dramatic change with interest, still not quite sure as to whether something was wrong or the play was one of the radical new variety where anything can happen. The drama master collapsed. However Cromely had had enough, he forgot where he was, his temper getting the better of him he stood up, "you monkey!" he roared shaking a fist at Tom.

By now Tom was thoroughly enjoying himself. Euphoria claimed him for her own. General chaos and immense enjoyment followed in his wake although his rule as the new King could not by any stretch of imagination be called peaceful.

He heard Cromely’s threats and ran down from the stage. The audience watched in wonder as the headmaster continued to yell himself hoarse. As Tom tore down the aisle, he stopped briefly at the front row, jumped up and pulled Cromely’s moustache hard.And then showing a clean pair of heels he was gone.

"Good fun, what?" he grinned at you through the bars.

"Yup," you had to agree even though it left you wondering exactly what Tom’s future career would be? An incendiary or an arsonist, you couldn’t really decide which.

"And now..."

He was stopped short by the roar of a powerful motor cycle coming down the lane.

"Quick," you said, "hide!" For you could hear someone coming down the passage.

"Wait a minute I forgot the best part!"

"What?" You keep an anxious watch.

"Well all the while after I came back as brave Thundercloud..."

"Well yes do hurry up!"

"....Amanda was laughing"

With that he jumped off the trash can, upset several others with a loud crash and disappeared. You were left peering out of the door of the clanger, still very much at a loss and wondering what the hell was coming your way next.