Honest is as honest does

By Taru Bahl

HONESTY in public life, business, relationships, to one’s convictions, is perhaps the highest virtue one can strive for. Our holy books, mythical characters, legends and heroes have for generations guided people on the rights and wrongs of moral values, where being honest to the self is the basic premise of noble living. With the passage of time, each generation has added its own distinct flavour to the concept of honesty. What qualifies as honesty for one may not be true for all, though some basic paradigms always remain unchanged.

A business leader whose company is known to be clean once remarked: "A businessman and a con man both understand the value of deception and dishonesty. Both make fancy presentations with impressive looking slides and statistics, impressing upon the prospective client the wisdom in doing business with them. The only difference is that while the former works hard at making all his promises come true, the latter makes no sincere attempts not because he lacks the resources or opportunities, but because he has no intention of doing so. He has his eyes only on the huge signing amount, which once pocketed, suits his short-term goal. The businessman on the other hand invests his 100 per cent, never mind if profit margins are squeezed. Whether or not he gets any future business, he feels he owes it to himself to put in his best and to not let down somebody who has reposed faith and confidence in him." Is it any wonder then that the con man eventually finds himself ousted from the market and the businessman ends up with a list of people who want to associate with him? We are talking of modern day business ethics which along with professional competence and technical brilliance still rely on good human values like sincerity, truthfulness, honesty and commitment.

An honest person is someone who is honourable is not just his actions but in his principles and intentions too. He is someone who is untrinsically upright, fair, frank and genuine. It isn’t easy being honest. The temptation to cheat, lie, deceive, camouflage, back-stab is much too easy and strong. With fewer role models both in the family, and in public life, we are today confused and ambivalent towards basic human values. It is not that they are defiant or rebellious, it is just that they feel it is futile to cling to things which are antiquated and irrelevant. They perceive them as stumbling block in their march towards success, prosperity and material growth.

When you see back benchers fearlessly cheating in front of teachers, sons of influential parents fudging percentages, leaking examination papers, getting away with violence and goondagardi, academic washouts being selected for coveted jobs while merit-listers are left twiddling their thumbs, who can blame you for refuting the adage: ‘Honesty is the best policy’? Our limited experience of life convinces us that to be successful need money and to enjoy that money we need to have it fast. This can happen only if we let go of our typical middle class upbringing which restricts and binds us with its long list of Do’s and Don’ts."

The entire concept of honesty has been overhauled. All of us have twisted it out of shape to suit our individual needs. Self-gratification is the need of the hour and if that means justifying the most dishonest act, we do it without any guilt feelings. We may not think twice before pocketing a Rs 500 note lying on the road telling ourselves that finders are keepers and that if you don’t pick it up, someone else will. We unhesitatingly cook up a series of lies and alibis to ensure that our parents grant us permission for an all-night dance party, convincing ourselves that since everyone is doing it, it’s alright for us to toe the line. You conveniently forget to give an important message to a friend just because you don’t fancy her. It is easy to convince oneself, if one has set out with that singular objective in mind. What makes it even easier is the fact that people are today more tolerant towards deviant behaviour. There is greater acceptance. Even if we do know that our neighbour" riches and fancy lifestyle are thanks to the money he makes on the side, you maintain very cordial relations. Chances are we may even emulate him. Now, honesty is not just about being fair and straight in one’s financial, business and personal dealings. It is your entire attitude, way of thinking and living. It has nothing to do with what others are doing or how they choose to live their life and everything to do with what you believe in and what you eventually end up doing. Whether it is at an individual level or at a social, professional, cultural, religious or political level, being honest can never be old-fashioned or worthless.

Companies world-wide are realising the importance of doing business with Asians because of their traditional mindset which combines a good mind and a good heart. They realise that for any long-term fruitful alliance, adherence to human values in general and honesty in particular is a pre-requisite. It is difficult to pull oneself out of this mire of all-encompassing dishonesty, but not impossible. We have to convince ourselves that even if the majority is being dishonest, it still does not become legitimate, giving you an okay certification, a passport to being dishonest to others and to yourself. No doubt our generation has been hardest hit by ideological discontinuity. According to researchers, this is the ‘instability era’ which is shaped by an age where there is no clear national leadership, where today’s crucial decisions may be overturned tomorrow and where there are many conflicting voices and views. We are the liberalisation children who believe in the philosophy of Hakuna Matata, which means "live for today". We find yourselves in the midst of an environment where values, attitudes and behaviour are being shaped by an India which is moving directionally forward but in a two-step forward, one backwards, three sideways fashion.

To be truly honest is not easy. We have to learn to be frank and truthful without ruffling feathers. We should have the discretion when to be tactfully and/or brutally honest, depending on the situation and person you are interacting with. Our sincerity and sense of purpose must shine through whatever we do. This can happen only when your intentions are honourable. A person who is intelligently devious and scheming can succeed once, maybe twice but he cannot hope to hoodwink all the people, all the time. A person who is basically honest has a very uncluttered mind, because there is no dichotomy in the way he thinks and acts. It is easy to forge ties with him, depend on him and be fond of him.

Finally, if you are really honest, don’t be ashamed or ambivalent about it. Let not singer Billy Joel’s anguished plea in the chartbusing number of the seventies Honesty be written off as old-fashioned trivia:

If you search for tenderness, it isn’t hard to find, you can have the love you need to live, and if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind, nowhere seems so hard to give, honesty such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue honesty is hardly ever heard, mostly what I want from you.

Basic values and you

Honesty is transparency in action. Phrases like "let’s be honest with ourselves," or "give me an honest opinion", reflect our innate desire to strip away the facade and evaluate ourselves or our circumstances in a matter-of-fact manner. Similarly, the adage,"honesty is the best policy" signifies that if our motives and intentions are clear and we are transparent in our conduct, the chances of complications arising out of interpersonal dealings are almost nil.

Honesty is also truthful living. It means coming to terms with ourselves and discovering the quietude that lies in the person of one who is not torn between what he actually is and what he perceives himself to be. In fact, honesty has a therapeutic value. It makes living stress-free.