And now where are you going?
By Suverchala Kashyap
IT’S that time of the year again when there is a renewed brouhaha over the exceptionally long way¹ that woman has travelled from the hearth to the heart of every other profession known. There is a palpable frenzy in the air and if you are not one of those to flaunt it or thrive in it, you sure have a lot of criticism coming your way.

Manager par excellence!
By Parminder K Shad
ANOTHER column on woman power, the women of new millennium. And our dear readers must be looking forward to exploring one of those bitter-sweet success saga of some self-styled business woman or unravel the management funds of some dynamo who made it to the top of corporate rung.

• WOMANSPEAK
  

IT’S that time of the year again when there is a renewed brouhaha over the exceptionally long way¹ that woman has travelled from the hearth to the heart of every other profession known. There is a palpable frenzy in the air and if you are not one of those to flaunt it or thrive in it, you sure have a lot of criticism coming your way. It¹s almost an annual wake up call and this year it¹s tinged with post-millennium hype. Whatever that¹s supposed to mean is anybody¹s guess.
Steely, determined, cold-hearted, avengeful—the media has from time to time sculpted her in many avatars. The one that she has been trying to live up to for the past few years is that of the superwoman: Juggling a high-pressure job, a demanding husband and precocious children to boot. Just as she thought she could bask in the new found glory of the much-touted empowerment, she realized the futility of it all.

Then there was the collective move to change roles, a little bit of gender-bender where the reel life man was portrayed as all understanding, all concern, all rounder. A ‘gentlehusbandfathermansonlover', all strung into one. Whether the transition was from real to reel or vice-versa, all seemed hunky-dory for a while.

But, then there is always the situation of the grapes being sour or just too sour__that's when the dour woman brigade stepped in. The ones whose lives were wrapped in a diaphanous shroud of convenience. Where their own failure to do things was attributed to grandma¹s principles or anchored down by tradition. Thus, the woman who had attained certain heights and made it to the forefront suddenly found herself more vulnerable than ever before. She thought she¹d left the hard-core feminism of the bra-burning, slogan-shouting, variety as far behind as the cave days, and was close to striking a balance with ‘that being', who was considered superior.

For a long time thereafter the omnipresent media reinforced the newer stereotypes __the ever-fresh mother, the all smiling wife, the microwave oven and the nth washing machine, that made life oh, so easy. Or did it ? Forcing her or rather prodding her on to greater heights. And she had apparently little cause to complain for the re-gendered man now had no qualms in switching on the washing machine or just holding the baby, or even just going out for a drive merely to hold hands.

Deep down she knew only too well that there was an entire movement that was working against her, for a long time she believed it to be from without. Then one fine day sense prevailed, it was like the breaking of a new dawn, for she knew for sure that it was a movement within. It was those of her ilk, who were pulling her down rather than the much-suspected male.

She perpetually finds herself on the battlefield attacked by a two-pronged weapon the male and the female onslaught. Susan Faludi, the award winning American journalist of the book Backlash says, "you may be free and equal now, but you have never been more miserable...women are enslaved by their own liberation. They have grabbed at the gold ring of independence only to miss the ring that really matters.

She is today in a greater dilemma than ever before. She is, certainly as, or more competent in any which way than her male counterpart, yet is constantly derided for having lost out on all those feminine trappings of yore—the demure, puritan damsel who didn¹t even lift her eyelids leave alone Presidential barometers.

The opposition camp which is more heterosexual than just bisexual does not like her ‘in the face, up front attitude¹, they cannot digest it . And when it becomes too unpalatable they burp their dissatisfaction as the moral police, ready to sanctify, deify woman and save her from herself (read tirade against Shabana Azmi and Deepa Mehta for Water). They suddenly feel it¹s time they took control of the reins once again and drove some sense into such wayward women a la Taming of the Shrew. They try to browbeat her at every step when she makes a statement of her independence and asserts her sexuality (Fire). Unable to go it all the way alone, unlike her, they rope in the others from the womb camp, who owing to their own inabilities and insecurities are forced to join in.

Yet not all is lost as they say in a very clichéd way it's like a tiger tasting blood__ and she knows only too well, once she¹s savoured freedom, what she¹s really losing out on if she plays the game by their rules.

She is, however, much more adaptable, it is the threatened male of the species that needs some introspection. A review of what he'd lose out on if he completely lost her. He has almost become redundant with the upswing in the sperm banks and the aseptically inseminated women happily hijacking his direct role even in procreation.

But, as mentioned earlier it is not only the poor male who is from the opposition camp there are those from the same species. Britain is fighting to put through a legislation where mothers be debarred from high pressure jobs, rather be kept away from any job. And those who are readily carrying this out are none others than women themselves.

There are several women who have been forced to opt out of highflying careers. They thought they were doing the right thing, but to be discriminated against again in such a way has actually made them pay a price for their freedom: their journey on an undulating road spelt emancipation has brought them again at the crossroads of disparity.

Today she's asked to make a choice, earlier she didn¹t have a choice. Today she does one thing at the cost of another. If she manages to get by doing both well, she's either made to feel extremely guilty about some duty or the other while the men just get on by.

Manager par excellence!
By Parminder K Shad

ANOTHER column on woman power, the women of new millennium. And our dear readers must be looking forward to exploring one of those bitter-sweet success saga of some self-styled business woman or unravel the management funds of some dynamo who made it to the top of corporate rung. But, with due apologies to these truly great damsels, how about sparing a thought for that highly unacknowledged, unsung species of the kingdom—the Housewife. Please don’t sigh, this ain’t the beginning of her tales of misery and sacrifices and certainly not an outcry for women’s liberation. It’s about how enterprising a woman ought to be to deserve that coveted honour of being an entrepreneur and this display of power need not always be outside that ever-challenging territory, the home.

Fathom this: A gala social event at one of the happening city club’s and there, amidst a group of eloquent, top-notch female professionals, exchanging notes on targets, achievements, stern schedule and lucrative opportunities—stands our affable Ms Kapoor. Trying her best to be a part of this aspiring genre and fighting that unintentional ostracism, she’s suddenly confronted with that dreadful question:— "By the way, what are you up to? "Well! nothing, I am just housewife", embarrassment written large on her face, tongue in cheek, she laments.

Do you identify with this situation? Perhaps sometime, someplace. If yes, then my dear diligent, demure home minister it’s time we set the record straight. Let me introduce to you, the great Indian homemaker and her many avatars.

She’s a la carte chef, a shrewd finance minister planner, a potent stress-manager, a proficient housekeeper, a compassionate medic, a pedagogue, a befitting consultant, a wife, a mother, a friend and much more. Does that leave space for anything else?

Now, what about her being a professional? You bet she is, to the very core of it. Let’s begin with the work hours, for her it’s not a time-bound 8-10 hrs job. She’s always on the go, on call round the clock. She’s there for everybody from dawn to dusk and even thereafter during those ungodly dark nights. How about her right to absence and leave? Well! Talking of that, she’s not granted one — neither paid nor casual, not even national holidays. But, then she sure must be making a good profit. No dear, a hefty pay package is not her fate. She’s often denied any kind of privilege, perks or even humble praise.

There are no job credit reports to assess her progress and achievements. Her unassuming credentials reflect in the love and trust of her kids, the pride and happiness of her soul-mate. Perhaps, the only apparent justification for her not being on a par with the suave working class must be the fact that she is a class apart.

So, the next time somebody gets curious about your vocation—set your spine straight, hold your head high and declare ‘I am a home manager’. Yes, that’s what you are up to successfully, sincerely, selflessly.

WOMANSPEAK

WOMEN have got to make the world safe for men since men have made it so darned unsafe for women.— Lady Nancy Astor

You see much more of your children once they leave home. — Lucille Ball

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. — Joan Baez

Time is a dressmaker specialising in alterations. — Faith Baldwin

When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers.
— Colleen C. Barrett

You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. — Ethel Barrymore

We’ve got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don’t know how it was before, so they think: "This isn’t too bad. We’re working. We have our attache’ cases and our three piece suits." I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don’t realise it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.— Erma Bombeck

"Women have much to say through music that the world needs to hear and that men cannot say for them. — Clara Lyle Boone

"Be wicked, be brave, be drunk, be reckless, be dissolute, be despotic, be an anarchist, be a religious fanatic, be a suffragette, be anything you like, but for pity's sake be it to the top of your bent -- Live-- live fully, live passionately, live disastrously ." — Violet Trefusis to Vita Sackville-West