Sunday, February 4, 2001		Bollywood Bhelpuri

GUESS most of you must’ve seen Kuchh Khatti Kuchh Meethi by now. Do you think the film (or, more importantly, the film’s heroine) live up to the title that promises something tangy, something sweet, huh? The response in Mumbai has been just okay-okay, which I find rather strange and surprising ... considering that it was Kajol’s comeback movie — boasting a double role, yet!

Looks as if producer Pritish Nandy and director Rahul Rawail slipped up somewhere and couldn’t even cash in (literally) on the return of the beautiful Rati Agnihotri to the silver screen after decades. Or, to be brutally candid, maybe Kajol herself has lost her charm and charisma so far as the cinegoers are concerned ....

At the time of writing, it was basically the lovely, lively music from Anu Malik that was pulling the predominantly young crowd to the cinema houses. Not Sunil Shetty, not Rishi Kapoor, not Pooja Batra. Sure, there are moments of fun and some genuine guffaws as Tina and Sweety, the oh-so-different twin sisters, get their act together ... but the bold "breezy family entertainer" tag remains just that — a tag.

Is it time Kajol called it quits — for good ?

With their sudden, shotgun marriage on the night of January 17, Akshay Kumar and Twinkle Khanna have become Bollywood’s first (official) new-weds of the new millennium. And, in the process, they’ve also triggered off gossip and rumours in Bollywood.

Chat sites are full of questions, counter-questions and (hot) debates about the great-looking couple. Sample these: "There’s definitely something weird behind Akki and Tina marrying quietly. And in such unholy haste !" "Yeah, it’s shocking. I think Twinkle, knowing Akshay’s fickle nature, decided to strike while the ironhoncho was still ‘hot’ ! Giggle." "No, I’m told by Twinkle’s neighbours that she’s already pregnant ! Hence the panic situation". "You don’t say ! Akki is a real stud, wow!" Etc. etc.

The clincher is, that while everyone is busy discussing where the just-married couple will be heading for their honeymoon, all the groom and the bride have to say is: "Honeymoon ? We can’t afford one right now ! Both of us are so caught up in the shoots for so many movies, that we can’t ditch the filmmakers." Well, I have a super suggestion: Why not sign a new film together and insist on shooting in Honolulu or Bali or Copenhagen — or all three ! Ek panth, do kaaj, right ?

The ma-in-law: Mama mia!

Dimple. The stunning, dazzling Dimple now plays, perhaps, the most challenging role in real life — that of Akshay Kumar’s mother-in-law ! (And soon enough, it could be grandma, too !) Unbelievable, isn’t it ? I mean, for a gorgeous, gorgeous traffic-stopper like her, even the word "mother" sounds so strange ... leave alone the other more incredible "titles" !

Oh, but Dimple is happy — even though she makes a face about being intimated about the marriage on the very morning it was to take place. "But what matters most to me that my darling daughter has found her true love and lifemate. I wish them all the best in their lives together. But I’ll damned if Akki addresses me as mother-in-law — I’ll chase him with a chopper ! Mama mia !

The year gone by, Y2K, has thrown up the indisputable fact that Bollywood has only one Big B — the original and incomparable Amitabh Bachchan. With his movie cameos plus his eminently excellent show-anchoring on KBC, he has emerged as the star of them all put together. Hurrah !

The other (lesser known) Big B — diamond don and film financier, Bharat Shah — suffered severe setbacks after being arrested for laundering mafia money for his film and TV (B4U) channels. And, as for Big B Jr, Abhishek Bachchan, well, I reckon he must be cursing that the year 2000 ever happened to him .... !