M A I N   N E W S

Brides shun Deswali youths
From Raman Mohan

HISAR, Jan 10 — Youths hailing from the Deswali belt of Haryana are facing a peculiar problem. Their love for playing cards and attending political rallies has become a disqualification for marriage.

Brides which are becoming increasingly hard to find in view of the alarming fall in the male-female ratio in Haryana, are now avoiding marrying in to Deswali families whose men are notorious for wasting time in non-productive activities and entrusting the job of running the household, including farming, to their women.

Men from this belt which begins from Hansi near here and extends to Rohtak, Jind and Sonepat districts are known to keep themselves busy from morning till evening in playing cards and listening to ‘ragnis’ and bhajans. Only a political rally distracts them from their first love.

Their women, however, toil throughout their lives tending to the children, cattle and the land. Not only that, they also have to bear with their love for liquor.

These men have lived lives their way for ages. They remained much sought after for marriage till recently because of their productive lands, which had irrigation facilities. As against this, prospective brides shunned men from the Bagri belt comprising districts of Bhiwani, Hisar, Fatehabad and Sirsa because their huge land holdings were barren in the absence of irrigation facilities. Things began to change over the years after irrigation facilities were extended to the Bagri belt. Secondly, land holdings in the Deswali belt became too small to be remunerative forcing men to seek jobs outside their villages leaving their women behind to look after themselves and the families. Over the years, work associated traditionally with men, became the whole time occupation of women in these areas.

With increasing unemployment, idle youths began spending time playing cards, attending political rallies and listening to ‘ragnis’. This is more than evident even now as groups of youths can be seen sitting along roadsides in front of their houses busy playing cards. This scene is same in almost every village although villages in Rohtak district especially the Meham area taking the lead.

Nevertheless, history now appears to have come a full circle. With the male-female ratio declining to 756 females for 1000 males, the axe has fallen on youths of marriageable age hailing from the Deswali belt. Community leaders say, now that the prospective brides and their parents have become choosy, Deswali youths are finding it hard to get married.

Mr Jag Ram (not his real name) who hails from Mundhal village in Bhiwani district says Deswali villages now have more bachelors waiting in the wings than ever before mainly because of their lifestyles. “I have been trying to find matches for three of my grandsons for two years now. However, I have not been able to find any suitable girl. No family from our community hailing from the Bagri or our own Deswali belt is willing to give their daughter in marriage”, he says.

His elder brother, Ranjit Singh, said he would not blame the Bagris for their bias. “When even we Deswalis now prefer to marry our daughters in the Bagri belt, why should Bagri girls marry our men and condemn themselves to a hopeless life”, he said adding that it would take a long time for Deswali men to change their traditional lifestyles.

However, there is hope for those who are willing to find work outside the village and carry their wives along. Inquiries reveal that many Deswali boys were forced by their parents to find work in nearby Delhi and settle down there if they wanted to have a wife. In the recently concluded marriage season, as many as 10 such men from three prominent Deswali villages on the national highway No. 10 were able to find brides.