Neha J Hiranandani’s ‘iParent’ guides how to raise iGen

Simmi Waraich

When Jean Twenge wrote her book ‘iGen’ on the current generation of kids who have grown up literally hooked to smartphones, she panned the ubiquitous technology for deleterious effects on the mental health of youth. Her book received criticism for painting a rather alarmist dystopian picture while overlooking other factors. Neha Hiranandani’s new book, ‘iParent’, is a lively, entertaining, balanced insight into the all-permeating digital world out there, while also guiding parents on how to navigate it.

Prior to the pandemic, 45 per cent of US teens were tethered to the online world, a statistic that only surged thereafter, with children from many developed countries joining their American counterparts online. Hiranandani terms the iGen as digital natives of Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat, etc, and who conjure up iMovies and reels in a snap, while the hapless parents fumble with technology. The book is interspersed with wry anecdotes and interviews with teens, which make it personal and real. It describes how youth shift seamlessly to newer messaging platforms and create Finstas, i.e. Fake Instagram IDs so their intrusive parents cannot spy on their online activity, and little kids who are setting up virtual shops on the metaverse and trading in crypto in their online avatars!

The dopamine reward pathway, or the Pleasure Centre, is pivotal in converting adolescents into slaves of the Internet as it provides them with validation, likes and comments — a culture where self-worth is linked to the likes or comments you get. A research done by Instagram revealed how the platform fuelled body image issues in growing, impressionable teens. Are rates of depression soaring in tandem with the spread of social media, online gaming, cyberbullying? Yes, seems to be the answer. Research shows that Internet use, especially social media use, may be linked to depressive symptoms and Internet Gaming Disorder is now a psychiatric diagnosis in ICD 11 (International Classification of Diseases 11th Revision)! China and Korea have identified it as a public health problem. However, there are many confounding factors like premorbid personality, role of environmental stressors, etc.

The pervasive nature of social media also raises concerns about privacy and data security. People unwittingly surrender their personal information to tech giants. The concept of metaverse is at our doorstep, offering a tantalising glimpse into virtual reality, blurring the line between reality and fantasy and creating disconnect between online personas and real-life identities. There are people who have reported being molested and even raped on the metaverse, which can be as trauma-inducing as a real-life rape.

Hiranandani’s book offers valuable tips for parents and is a useful handbook for all to-be iParents. It talks about fostering open communication with their children. Supervision, not snooperisation, is key. Dos and don’ts for parents are outlined — educating adolescents about the dangers of cyberbullying, knowing the law, talking about how Google never forgets is imperative. Parents who are familiar with the platforms their children frequent can discuss the pros and cons and set healthy boundaries. Parents need to be role models and make time for phone-free outings and meals. Encouraging conversations with children on embracing imperfection and rejecting the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards can build resilience and self-acceptance in the face of digital scrutiny.

The book illuminates on the dazzling array of social media, video games, access to porn and now the allure of virtual reality, and offers tips on how to deal with it. It asks parents to be aware and alert, yet let their children find their own paths once they are older. Having open communication can help empower children to handle technology responsibly. However, being alert to warning signs and taking help early is also imperative. To deal with iGen, it asks the parents to become iParents.