Travel friends don’t stay the course
I have always wondered why people who become ‘friends’ during journeys hardly ever meet again. Most of us have experienced this phenomenon. We bump into strangers on a bus, train or plane and hit it off with them. We exchange phone numbers, addresses, etc. Alas, after we bid adieu to each other, our ways never converge as we resume our daily routine. Why does this happen? In the Hindi film Jab We Met, Shahid Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor meet on a train, become friends and ultimately life-mates, but the reality is altogether different.
In a short story by Pakistani raconteur Intizar Hussain, a young man and a woman meet during a journey; when their respective destinations arrive, they exchange each other’s addresses. However, they never write to each other. They again run into each other 20 years later. They talk animatedly, but when the journey ends, they smile and say goodbye to each other, expecting nothing in future. They have become mature enough to know that a friendship struck up on a trip does not last.
During our travels, we make friends in order to kill boredom and while away the time. I have met many people on buses, trains and aircraft. I interacted with them but seldom did I give my phone number, e-mail ID or other contact details. I know that it’s futile to expect a fellow traveller to be my friend after the journey is over. Friendship is something that needs time to develop. It cannot happen in a few hours.
In life’s journey, we are all travellers. To quote Urdu poet Bashir Badr, ‘Musafir hain hum bhi, musafir ho tum bhi/Shayad kisi mod pe phir mulaqaat hogi’ (I’m a traveller, you are also a traveller/We might bump into each other again).
When many of us find it hard to live with each other, how can people whom we meet on a short trip become our pals forever? It’s enough that they stay friends till the journey lasts. Moreover, we treat the word ‘friend’ in such a casual manner that we have forgotten the profundity attached to it. Friendship is an exalted emotion. It takes years to nurture strong bonds. Friendship is like wine — it matures with time.
It’s a travesty of friendship if it can be formed frivolously on a trip. That’s why the English language has two markedly different words: Friends and acquaintances; in Hindi, dost and pehchanwale. So, let friends remain friends and don’t have great expectations from those you run into during a journey. Remember that travel friends disappear without a trace. Only tried-and-tested pals remain with you till the end.
