Hilarity on the highway
AS an MA student in the early 1980s, I used to commute by bus from Malerkotla to Nabha. A concessional bus pass for students was issued by the authorities. It cost me just Rs 27 for a three-month period. We, a group of five young men, travelled to Nabha to attend evening classes. The bus service on this route was very poor in those days. The buses coming from Ludhiana were usually packed to capacity; boarding them was a Herculean task even for youngsters. We would eventually jostle our way into the bus. It didn’t matter to us that no seat was available. We were happy to stand all the way, mainly because the journey was made enjoyable by some hilarious episodes.
Once, we spotted a group of rural women among our co-passengers. They looked calm and composed. When their destination arrived after half an hour’s journey, they got down the bus. No sooner had they descended that they started crying inconsolably. It dawned on us that they were on their way to attend a funeral or a bhog ceremony. The bus conductor quipped, “Hun tak eh chup-chap baithian si, pata nahin ik dum ehna nu rona kitho aa gaya” (Till now they were sitting calmly. I wonder why they started crying all of a sudden), leaving the passengers in splits. We were all rather impressed by the acting skills of these women.
On another occasion, a man tried desperately to enter a jam-packed bus. A passenger quickly locked the front door from the inside and informed the ‘intruder’, “Eh taan baraat di bus hai”. Hearing this, the man dejectedly abandoned his frantic efforts, evoking peals of laughter from the baraatis.
Once, during our return journey at night, the driver drove off quickly after dropping a few passengers at a bus stop. The conductor, who was busy returning the balance amount to them, was left stranded on the road. When the bus reached the next stop, the passengers started wondering why the conductor was not around.
Their conversation was overheard by the driver, who was visibly incensed at the turn of events. Willy-nilly, he took a U-turn to reach the previous bus stop, which was 5 km away. The conductor was standing beside the road; he was angry at the driver for having left him in the lurch. After a brief argument, they managed to patch things up. The passengers had to face inconvenience due to this delay, but eventually everybody were happy to witness the ‘reunion’ of the driver and the conductor. It was a classic case of all’s well that ends well.
