From sirring to stirring talent
THE other day, my friend’s granddaughter visited us. She was cajoled into reciting a nursery rhyme. She recited ‘Baa, Baa, Black Sheep’, which includes the line, ‘Yes sir, yes sir’. It made me think that many of us say ‘sir’ at the drop of a hat. At times, this proves to be an impediment to a harmonious, healthy and meaningful communication.
During a conversation in the classroom, one of my students said, “My economics sir always scolds me if I arrive late for the class.” Another said, “My English sir is very supportive.” I realised that they were using ‘sir’ as a synonym for ‘teacher’.
Why do we fall into the trap of an excessive use of ‘sir’ (or ‘ma’am’, as the case may be)? Often, it can be because of our intense desire to express our regard for that person or nervousness at the prospect of having to address someone far senior to us. Also, living in a deeply hierarchical society, there exists a taboo about addressing one’s superiors by their first or last names. Then, sir/ma’am comes in handy.
During an international seminar, my fellow delegate addressed the resource person from the UK as ‘sir’. Unfortunately, the move backfired as the latter felt that the term reeked of an obsequious attitude. The resource person got the impression that the delegate was lavishly using the honorific in a bid to conceal his lack of knowledge of the topic concerned.
When my nephew started working for an American MNC, it was difficult for him to convince himself to address his seniors by their first name, but once he got used to this practice, he found that it built a far better professional relationship. Many workplaces frown upon the use of titles while addressing someone. Instead, employees are encouraged to use the first name or simply say Mr/Ms.
The liberal use of ‘sir’ in India stems from the colonial influence. We only call by name the people who are younger than us. We generally address our superiors as ‘sir’. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem to sit right with the ‘Samskara’ that many people still believe in instilling in their children; the latter are taught to submit unconditionally to seniority. But in order to foster an environment of ease, trust and wellbeing, one mustn’t stick to norms dictated by hierarchy. It is good to wean oneself off the practice of using a title at the individual and organisational levels.
Still, the question is: What is the correct etiquette to follow in homes, offices and social places? If you aren’t comfortable addressing a senior by his/her name or surname, it is alright to say ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ in the initial customary exchange; thereafter, maintain a polite tone, but use the term as sparingly as possible.
If you really want to impress your seniors, it’s better to come up with good ideas and turn them into stirring accomplishments instead of resorting to ‘sirring’.
