Not just a happy homemaker!

Jasmin Pannu

Professionally qualified and perfectly capable, but contented to be a happy homemaker; many of the new generation of career-oriented women are making their families their priority.

“A woman was made to live beautifully, just like a flower!” This is how the modern philosopher and thinker Sadhguru famously remarked in one of his discourses.

Times have changed and the competent young Indian mothers are now making a new statement. She is no more the over-occupied, hassled ‘super’woman, struggling to complete all errands, including office work. She has willingly put her career and ambition on the backburner, just to relish that beautiful experience of being a mother and a happy homemaker.

Can a homemaker be really happy about her work status or lack of it? Yes, she can be. “Superwomen exist only in fiction and I have learnt that the hard way. I was always carrying the guilt of either being a bad mother or a poor professional. I felt I wasn’t doing justice to neither my kid nor my job”, says Anuradha Gakhar, who left her flourishing profession as a manager, international business at a leading Delhi-based IT Training enterprise. “I also realised I was missing out on all the important milestones of my son who was growing up too fast and moments once gone would never return. ”

In the end, she might not be climbing the career ladder, but she is happy that she is giving 100 per cent at home. Boardrooms can wait for now.

Indian society, all jumbled-up

So, what made these women pick home over career, even if it was a temporary move? Dr Rajeev Gupta, consultant psychiatrist at Manas Clinic, Ludhiana, has a point to make. “We are bringing up our daughters in way that they grow up to be independent and confident women, while the rearing up of sons is still the same.” He explains how the pressure of work and home management is too much to handle even for the most efficient women, which perhaps explain the change. “The corporate world demands perfection and there is no room for any empathy, which makes it tougher for women to manage on all fronts”, he observes.

No regrets…really

Even a couple of decades back, women put their careers on hold to bring up kids. Dr Sunita Ahuja, a qualified doctor and a proud grandmother now, found herself in a similar fix with five kids and a busy husband, also a doctor. “My husband was a devoted professional and I realised soon after that I need to stop practicing to look after my four daughters and a son.” But, is there any regret? “With all my kids happily settled and two of them excelling as doctors, I absolutely have no regrets. I enjoy contributing towards the society by giving free medical assistance to poor”, she adds.

The struggle is on for younger woman, who still can’t decide where their priorities lie. Says Dr Preety Gupta, a young doctor and a happy mother to two toddlers, “Being available for my kids definitely gives me joy and satisfaction. However, I sometimes do feel it was not right to forego my medical practice altogether.” The dilemma is obvious when she laments, “I still don’t know whether I did the right thing, but it is true that the society respects you more if you are a working woman.”

A major decision of giving up a flourishing career also needs consent and support of the other partner. Fortunately, men are standing by their better halves. “It was a conscious decision for my wife to step back and take care of our child”, says Manish Arora whose wife was a journalist and is now happy being a freelancer. There are times when Manish considers it’s a hasty decision, “But I look at the way she is bringing up the child, we both think it was worth the sacrifice”, he adds, justifying the call they took.

Pallavi Khanna, a Jalandhar-based psychologist says, “My role models are women who stay at home, yet enhance their professional skills. After the kid has reached a sufficiently independent stage in their life, they take to work again”.

Talking of how this is the ideal route, she adds, “The stress and its impact that comes with professional responsibilities is definitely not worth it.”