Fly high, stay grounded

ONE of the things I will always be grateful to my parents for is ingraining in us a very valuable lesson; the value of which has become most profound in my adult life. The lesson — always remain humble, no matter what the volume of success and achievement. 

Looking back, I recognise the subtle, yet straightforward way in which they executed this teaching throughout our childhood.

There was never any singing from the rooftops whenever we achieved high scores or won medals in sports, academics or cultural events. There was, of course, great excitement, pats on the back and jubilation within the family, but no special phone calls were made to spread the news, boast about it or fawn all over us for long periods of time.

They were proud but they didn’t want us to harbour pride that could breed ego. So, they gently encouraged us to do even better next time, without spending too much time treating us like deities.

I first started to think about this a few years ago when I noticed some families hero-worshipping their children for small achievements. There is nothing wrong in being proud of your progeny but I noticed some of these children growing up with the acquired notion of being superior to others. Their parents did nothing to dispel the belief. They had openly demeaned and looked down upon other families and their children. Experts say that children absorb the nucleus of their lifelong behaviour from their parents in their formative years. Such children grew up to be vain, condescending and critical of others. 

It was then that I began to feel thankful for my own very opposite upbringing. Admittedly, there have been times when I felt that I deserved more attention for a particular achievement. But I now realise why I never got it. And I am glad I didn’t.

It was never a conversation we had. I don’t remember my mom or dad ever sitting me down and saying, “We don’t want you to boast about your achievements”, or “we are happy for you, and proud of you, but we will not be calling up our friends and relatives to brag about it”. In fact, perhaps with the advent of social media, we have started to inconspicuously do the boasting ourselves. Whenever I have an article published today, my parents, who certainly are big fans, will read it and tell me they are happy, but we don’t enter into deeper discussions and back-patting. 

What they say is, “Keep it up. Don’t stop.” It’s all I need to hear because these words say it all. 

I plan to pass this very valuable lesson down to my children too, when I have them. A family legacy of sorts. The lesson of flying high with their feet planted firmly on the ground.