Handle with care

Abha Chaudhary

What little Orphan Annie said is true “you’re never fully dressed without a smile “A smile on your face and a positive attitude automatically improve the atmosphere wherever you are. Being gruff or sarcastic robs any greeting of its sincerity.

Mind your language

A genuine smile is an echo of our empathy and respect for those around us, especially those with a disability. Sensitivity starts with your language. Put people first by speaking of a ‘person with a disability’ rather than ‘a disabled person, an invalid or a victim, crippled or handicapped’.

Also refer to a ‘person with cerebral palsy or epilepsy’, not ‘a paralytic or an epileptic’. Watching your language does not mean banishing certain words and phrases. It’s fine to ask a blind person ‘did you see the President’s speech last night?’(The blind use the word see as much as anyone else) and to invite someone in a wheelchair to go for a walk is also pertinent.

Ask before you act

Never stare at or make jokes or cruel comments about someone with a disability. If you want to offer assistance, ask first, since people who have mastered getting about in wheelchairs, on a clutch or without the benefit of vision or hearing may not need it. Never ask personal questions of someone with an obvious disability. If he wants to talk about the condition, he will broach the subject. A wheel-chaired person is most comfortable when you don’t pressurize him to get out of your way and reassure him that you’re not in a rush and you are available if any help needed.

Never take seats and parking spaces designated for people with a disability. It’s impolite to lean over someone in a wheelchair to shake a third person’s hand. A wheelchair is part of a person’s personal space, so treat it as such, not as you would furniture. When conversing, either pull up a chair and sit at his level, or stand far enough away so that he won’t have to strain his neck to make eye contact.

Handling deafness

There are degrees of deafness. When you are with someone who is partially deaf, it may only be necessary to speak a little more distinctly, or to repeat a remark. If you know that the hearing loss is in one ear, sit on the side of the good ear at movies, a meal or any other place where you may not be face to face. If someone is completely deaf, and is not facing you and you need to attract his attention, a gentle tap on the arm or shoulder, rather than a shout, is appropriate. Find out what the preferred method of communication is –lip-reading, signing or writing. Speak in a normal tone, slowly and clearly. Use meaningful facial expressions and gestures. Never walk between two people who are signing –you would be interrupting them. If you are speaking with a person who has an interpreter, direct your attention to the person, not the interpreter. Speech problems range from stuttering to stroke-induced difficulties. If you listen patiently and carefully, your ear adjusts and your understanding will improve. Remain attentive to the conversation even if there are delays and don’t complete sentences unless asked to. Don’t pretend to understand if you don’t. Ask him a question that will help him clarify what you missed.

Be their vision

People who are blind or have visual impairments usually know how to get around if they use a cane. Walk on his opposite side of the cane. Never touch his cane. In a restaurant offer to read the menu aloud. Using clock terms, let the person know whether the pasta is at his six o’clock or spinach is at his twelve o’clock. When ending a conversation or leaving a room, make a point to say good bye so that the person knows you have left. Just as important, always identify yourself to him when you enter a room or join a conversation.

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image and style consultant)