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The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life." Food for thought An old lady, a difficult independent, use to sit on a bench in a park to feed the pigeons. One day, she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. Then suddenly a man in his early 40s, who was watching her from a distance, came near her and told her that she shouldn’t throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. The old lady said in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, I can’t throw that far!" With an incentive After a man spent three-and-a-half hours enduring the long lines, and tolerating surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles Registration, a man stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for his son. He brought his buys, a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked. "Cash," he snapped. Then apologising for his rudeness, explained, "I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau." "Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you going directly back there?" Number game Five Belgians in an Audi Quattro arrive at the French border. The French customs’ agent stops and tells them: "It’s illegal to put five people in a Quattro." "Oh, no, Quattro is just the name of the automobile. Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You can’t pull that one on me," replies the French customs agent. "Quattro means four!" "Oh, you are so stupid! Call your supervisor over!" "He can’t come. He’s busy with the two guys in the Fiat Uno." Break point There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several 100 feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled to the top by several monks, who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously, the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous when he was half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they chang the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
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The skydiving instructor
was going through the question-and-answer
period with his new students when one of them asked the usual
question: "If our chute doesn’t open; and the reserve doesn’t
open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?"