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The girl said, "Mom, we learned how to make babies in school today!" Thinking that third grade was a bit early for that, she asked her daughter to tell her how. "It's easy, Mom, you just drop the 'y', and add 'ies'," the daughter said.
Stating the truth A boy, who was a witness, was asked by a lawyer: "Did anyone tell you what you should say inside the court?" "Yes, sir." "I thought so! Who was it?" "My father, sir." "And what did he tell you?" "He said that the cunning lawyer would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, I would be all right.
In the climax The General went out to find that none of his G.Is were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain. You see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here." The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I go. Moments later, eight more G.Is came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late. They all had the same story.
Following suit "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here." The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily, "Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..." "Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down." "No sir," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses on the road. It took forever to get around them."
Road diaries A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm always travelling and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." The psychiatrist asks, "Don't you have a phone in your car?" "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car. "How's that working?" "Actually, I haven't got any letters yet," the blonde replies. "And why do you think that is?" The blonde says, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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A third grade girl came home from school. She was very happy, and her Mom noticed this. Mom asked, "What makes you so happy today?"