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Friends forever
Women have always bonded and formed deep relationships with other women. This friendship comes with a basic understanding of shared problems
Aditi Garg

Women friends share a special bond that moulds who they are Thinkstock
Women friends share a special bond that moulds who they are Thinkstock

Nothing is more cathartic than bonding with your girlfriends Thinkstock
Nothing is more cathartic than bonding with your girlfriends Thinkstock

Hima (R) and Alpana have been friends for nearly 30 years
Hima (R) and Alpana have been friends for nearly 30 years

If Sex and The City gave the world an unfettered view of a circle of women friends, Queen shows Kangana Ranaut and Lisa Haydon having an unabashedly wonderful time together. Women share an instant connection and easy camaraderie that has been shadowed by numerous idiot box depictions that portray them only as being pitted against each other. A host of women swear by their women friends who are as approachable as, or at times even more, than their siblings. They shop together, go out and readily help each other through testing times and stand beside them when the rest of the world seems to have deserted them. And at times, this bond proves stronger than even the blood ties.

A study by University of California, Los Angles (UCLA), has put forth that women friends share a special bond that moulds who they are. Traditionally, research has focused on the Fight-or-Flight behaviour under stress; but this study has found that women under stress are encouraged to tend to their kids and bond with other women. With friends being so important to the emotional wellbeing of women, it is natural for them to have best friends forever or BFFs.

When Geetu Singh's (name changed) husband passed away after seven years of marriage, she was totally shattered. As her brother refused to extend any help, all she saw was a dark void staring back at her. Had it not been for her closest friend, she would have had to subsist on next to nothing. She says, "My friend Priya pitched in not just financially, but was my pillar of strength and was always just a phone call away. Right from when my daughter had to be taken to the hospital in the middle of the night to when I had to look for a job, she proved it time and again that friendship is a bond that is thicker than blood."

Dr Simmi Waraich, consulting psychiatrist at Fortis Hospital, says, "Women have always bonded; even when joint families had been the norm, they have stood by each other in tending to children, finding a place in a patriarchal system and helping ease stress. In general, women communicate and empathise better than men. With growing financial freedom, more women are spending time with their friends seeking to connect on an emotional level. Women with grown-up children look forward to reconnecting with old friends which is facilitated by the social media. They enjoy sharing, communicating and connecting with friends who offer a sense of security and comfort. There are few things more cathartic than bonding with your girl friends."

Friends for almost as long as their kids have been in school together, Sonita Verma and her friend, Anu, from Panchkula have developed a special bond over the past 10 years. They have shared fun times and also seen each other through stressful times. From discussing school, studies and after-school activities to being an emotional anchor for each other, they have been there when needed.

While it is not in sync with popular belief, Research Centre for Socio-Cultural Change at University of Manchester has deduced after a four-year-long study that women form deeper and more moral friendships with other women than men do with other men. Men were found to be fickle in their friendships, seeking to gain something out of it whereas women focus on the friendship itself.

In today's world when people are even hesitant to commit to marriage, friendships offer women that much needed anchor. All other relationships fray but friendships endure, especially childhood friends who have grown up together. Hima Vasudeva from Gurgaon and Alpana Sood from Ludhiana first met in the first year of their college in Ludhiana. Almost 30 years later, their friendship is going as strong as ever. Both of them refer to each other as their lifeline. Hima says, "She has been a blessing in my life and my kids call her massi. Whenever we meet, I recall the nostalgia of the days spent having fun on our scooters. We still have a great time together and are there for each other all the time." Alpana echoes the same sentiments, calling Hima her soul mate. She says, "We share even those things that we cannot discuss even with our sisters. People find it incredible, but in so many years we have never spoken a harsh word to each other."

Friendships between women come with a basic understanding of similar problems; hormonal, emotional and physical, which men can never understand.





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