|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The man said, "Yo, bucko, where’s the bathroom?" The head waiter calmly replied, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you see the sign marked ‘Gentlemen’, pay absolutely no attention to it and go right inside." Not game this time A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole that is over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, he leaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course. Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn’t have his clubs and begins to walk off the course. One of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?" And he said, "I left my car keys in the bag." Amid confusion An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done." Matters of property Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, daughter and two sons, are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." "My daughter, Sybil, you to take the apartments over in the east end." "My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Center." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river." The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realise his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property". Sarah replies, "Property? .... The jerk is a newspaper hawker and was talking about the routes!"
|
||
|
|
||
The
head waiter of a five-star felt disgusted as a man in muddy hip-wader
boots, frayed and torn jeans, dirty leather jacket, long stringy,
dirty hair and a beard with flecks of long-ago food marched right
towards him.