Webside humour
Man’s best friend

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged. Before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him."Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit wehad so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink and blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That’s great!" the manager cried, "I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh that," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."

Being positive

Well Bill, how are you getting on with trying to date that new cocktail waitress?"
"Not so bad. I’m getting some encouragement now."
"Really, is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?"
"Not exactly, but last night she said that she’s said ‘no’ for the last time."

IQ test

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?"
"I don’t know," responded the other. "I’ll ask him."
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?"
"Intelligence," the boss said.
"What do you mean, ‘intelligence’?"
The boss said, "Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can."
The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That’s intelligence!"
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?"
"He said we are down here because of intelligence."
"What’s intelligence?" said the friend.
The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said,
"Take your shovel and hit my hand."

On the wishlist

The couple’s 50th wedding anniversary was approaching.
The husband asked his long-suffering wife, "What would you like to do for our anniversary, Dear?"
She looked at him sourly and replied, "Become a widow!"

Taking over

Sandra was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.

The guy in the car directly behind her started honking as Sandra tried hard to start the car.
Finally Sandra got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her."I can’t seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I’ll stay here in your car and lean on the horn for you."

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