fitness
Stress management for special children
Children with special needs find it challenging to cope up with difficult situations. Parents and caregivers need to be more patient
Surabhi Verma

The dictionary defines stress as the body's way of reacting to a challenge. Stress typically describes a negative condition or a positive condition that can have an impact on a person's mental and physical well-being. Every one of us undergoes stress when the conditions around us are not cohesive. Thus not only adults but children also are vulnerable to stress. Thirteen out of 100 children experience some kind of anxiety disorder and many more are just stressed out.

In today's competitive environment children have the added problem of exam stress. They also have to keep up with school projects, extracurricular activities and competition with peer group, therefore stress is inevitable. Living a balanced life and reducing stress in children is a challenge for most families. This challenge can become manifold if the child also has special needs. A child with special needs can feel stressed even with a small change in the environment and may not have the resources to communicate the same to anyone. Often such a child's stress comes from external factors, but many a times it comes from within, often related to what we think we should be doing versus what we're actually able to do.

For a child having special needs like learning difficulty, autism, attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) or physical or cognitive deficits, a school can be an unrelenting source of frustration and feelings of failure can easily overcome such kids. Often for children with special needs going to school is not enough as they also have to visit other experts or doctors who help them manage their behaviour and education. These therapies can be exhausting and time consuming and the child can feel stressed. A child with autism spectrum disorder may be suffering from sensory dysfunction which means that the child is not able to process and regulate incoming sensory stimuli in the way most people can do. Think about the senses and what would happen if you were overly sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, touch, tastes and even motion. Noises that may be harmless for us may be painful to the child with sensory integration disorder. How to manage stress in such special children:

Make your child's environment as predictable as you are able to. Things like picture schedules, explaining clear consequences for both appropriate and inappropriate behaviour can help the child make sense of his or her world. Anxiety is lessened because he/she knows what to expect.

At the same time, teach them how to handle change and cope with disappointments and unexpected. Role playing can help with this as well as discussing "if/then" scenario. We want the child to learn how to go with the flow and adapt to change in his or her environment.

Give such children choices in their day-to-day routines so that they feel that they have some control. The choices may be selective as in "Do you want to play with blocks before or after your bath?" Making a choice can lessen such kids' anxiety by giving them a feeling of power over their world. When do we feel the most anxious? When we feel we have no control or say over what happens to us. This is especially true for children with special needs.

Make a list of calming techniques and strategies that have worked in the past with the child. For example, some children are calmer after swinging, swimming, listening to soothing music, or taking a bath. Schedule these activities immediately after the stressful work. This breaks the monotony and gives child a breather and the energy to tackle the rest of the day peacefully.

Give some 'me time' or 'alone time' to these kids. All children need sometime time to themselves where they are allowed to do whatever they want and however they want. It is great stress buster as the children can use their own in-built strategies to overcome their stress. The activity could be as simple as running around in circles or playing with a string or just sitting and staring out of the window.

Many times the stress is caused by the over expectations of the parents and thus they sometimes transfer their stress of meeting the school teachers or managing the child in a social gathering on the child. Therefore parents and caregivers need to modify their expectations and be careful that they themselves do not become the cause of the stress. Make sure you let your child knows that you are proud of him/her and stand by him/her.

In searching for ways to help children with learning disabilities, remember that you are looking for ways to help them help themselves. Children's temperaments vary and thus they are quite different in their ability to cope with stress and daily hassles. Children who have a clear sense of personal competence, and who feel loved and supported, generally do well.

— The writer is Director, Sparsh for Children, New Delhi

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