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A doctor examined a woman and took her husband aside. "I don’t want to alarm you," he said, "but I don’t like the way your wife looks at all." "Me neither, doc," said the husband. "But she’s a great cook and real good with the kids." Football crazy A medical professor had just finished a lecture on the subject of mental health and started to give an oral quiz to the first year students. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the senior doctor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs for one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A World Cup football coach?" That’s a tough job A man was strolling along a beach in California. On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle. He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork. Immediately, a genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free. For that, I will grant you one wish." The man thought for a moment and then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship. Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?" The Genie replied, "Master that is a difficult wish to fulfill. Can you think of something that is more practical?" The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?" The genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?" Leading from the front A sales representative, an administration clerk and their manager are going for lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll fulfill one wish of each of you." "Me first! Me first!" says the clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales representative. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Cut but don’t paste "Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don’t panic, I’m coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yes, I shaved with the electric razor." —Sunil Sharma
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