Webside Humour
Will power
Sunil Sharma

A well-dressed fat woman is shopping on Rodeo Drive. She comes out of the shopping area. A skinny beggar is sitting outside. He asks her for some money. "I haven’t eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Blame game

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!

Grandmom on order

The driver stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool. He noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" the driver asked.

"Yes," Chris said. "She’s come to visit us for Christmas."

"How nice," he said. "Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her."

Not newsy enough

"Have you seen this morning’s paper?" the husband asked his wife.

"Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it.", the wife replied.

"But I hadn’t seen it yet!" he protested

"You didn’t miss much. It was just some coffee grounds, egg shells and a few orange peels." she said.

Choice landing

As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter flight, a flight attendant announced, "We’d like you folks to help us welcome our new co-pilot. He’ll be performing his first commercial landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop."

The plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard two or three times before coming to a stop. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant’s voice came over the intercom, "Thanks for flying with us. And don’t forget to let our co-pilot know which landing you liked best."

Blonde pilot

A blonde is on board a small two-seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies of heart attack. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams. Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: "Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First, I need you to give me your height and position."  "I’m 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!"

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