|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What’s a football wedding?" The other says, "She’s waiting for him to kick off!" All ears An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I’m not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like this: ‘Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!’ Enlightened! A policeman is walking his beat at night and comes across a drunkard who is standing under a street light, looking intently down at the street. He says to the man, "What are you looking for?" "My keys," says the man. "Where did you lose them?" "Over there" "Why are you looking here?" "The light is better." What’s for dinner? The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yes," said the youngster. "I heard dad say to mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.’" Ha(y)sty decision A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?" The farmer replied with a drawl, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I’d feed it." So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach ... and preach ... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded. Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?" The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn’t try to feed it all the hay."
|
||
|
|
||
Two guys are talking
about their boss’s upcoming wedding. One bloke says, "It’s
ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 95 years old, and she’s just 24!
What kind of a wedding is that?"