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NANCY Arroyo Ruffin rightly said, “The best thing parents can do for their children is allow them to be who they were born to be.” Every parent has the best interest of children at heart, becoming obsessive about every aspect of their performance is not justified. Sometimes they lose track and end up shielding kids not from harm but from the most important experiences of growing up and discovering the world around them.
A new trend, it is a contradictory situation where parents are pressed for time, with both parents working at long-hour jobs, while struggling to take out time to micromanage their kids' lives. Earlier, after- school hours meant a bit of homework, learning before tests and hours of playing. Now, parents schedule activities for every free moment and that too is monitored very minutely. The emphasis is on competitive performance and not on what the child loves to do or what he has calibre for. It detracts from creating happy, well-adjusted kids and seeks to create assembly-line replicas pitched against each other, trying to out do one another. Renu Aggarwal, grandmother of a seven- year-old girl, fails to understand the current approach to parenting. She says, “I have two daughters and both of them are doing well professionally and are wonderful, fun-loving women, with an active social life. I don't remember having enrolled them for as many classes in their teens as my granddaughter. Every assignment is prepared with the precision of a PhD thesis. I still believe that she will benefit more from doing her own thing.” A research in a US varsity, involving 297 American graduate students between ages of 18 and 23 found higher levels of depression, less satisfaction with life and lowerperceived autonomy, competence, and ability to get along with people among kids with overbearing parents. Another study by the Technological Education Institute (TEI) of Crete found higher internet addiction in kids who had helicopter parents. Even Lego, the toy giant realised during the course of a research that most of children have their lives “staged” by parents who even manage their play space which is constantly being decreased in pursuit of picture-perfect bedrooms and textbook manners. It is the fear of neglecting children and offering them less-than- perfect opportunities to achieve their full potential that makes parents indulge in over-parenting. Often, parents' unrealised dreams fuel their desire to push their kids.
Loosen up a bit and give the kids space to be on their own. Let them explore the world and don't be too eager to fill every free moment with activities. Getting bored, playing with friends, making a mess and hurting them once in a while is all a natural part of growing up, which leads to innovation, making friends, solving problems and develops a host of other skills that they cannot learn as well under guidance. Do you tend to hover? Find out here:
* When he or she complains about a child who was laughing at him in school, do you complain to the teacher every time,without wanting to hear the other side of the story? * When your child can dress himself, do you continue to dress him just because it takes lesser time? * Do you feel a strong urge to help him make friends at a kids’ get-together? * Do you feel it is necessary to nutritionally balance each and every meal your child eats? * Do you have an opinion about all his friends and dictate who he should and should not hang out with? * Do you plan activities for their free time? If the answer to the above questions is more in the affirmative than in the negative, you should stop whirring above your kids and give them some space.
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According to Merriam and Webster's Dictionary, helicopter parents are overly involved in the life of their child. Given the tough job that parenting is, it is difficult to draw a line between being an involved and overly involved parent. If you recognise any of the signs of being a helicopter parent (refer table), it would be best to reassess your parenting style.
If you as a parent think you are helping your kid by guiding (read “goading”) him in every aspect, think again. Not only is it counter-productive, but also bad for your relationship. It only encourages resentment. As one visibly upset eleven-year-old puts it, “My mom thinks she can make me a rockstar by forcing me to join guitar classes. I hate going there and don't perform half as well as the others. She disapproved of drawing classes as it is something that ‘everyone is doing’. I don't understand why can I not choose my hobby”. 
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When your child is trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle, do you pitch in to “help”?