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A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!” The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, “Neither did I, when I was a doctor.” Sales pitch An eager salesman was trying to have a country storekeeper carry his product, and finally tried to bribe the fellow with a bottle of champagne. "Oh, my conscience wouldn’t let me take such a gift," the business owner protested. "What if I sell it to you for a dime?" asked the salesman. "In that case," replied the man, "I’ll take two." Cut to size A history professor was very concise, stiff and not very friendly to anyone, especially his students. He always dressed to perfection; hat, over coat, jacket, gloves, vest and tie. One day he walked into the only barber shop in our town and began to remove his outer garments; his gloves, his top coat, his jacket, his vest, his tie, and finally his eye glasses. He sat down in the chair and the barber asked him what he wanted? He replied very curtly that he wanted a haircut, and why else would he come into the barber shop and sit down in the chair?"Well," the barber replied, "don’t you think that you should remove your hat?" Better offer During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to "love, honour and obey" and "forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever," I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back: "She made me a much better offer."
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